There was a water column. Ordinary, iron, pen pressed the water went.



Water Channel decided that too many people use it without paying for anything and for the purpose of saving, renovation and modernization changed the column to a new, beautiful, blue color with a display and work from cards.

The cards were distributed to local residents.



We changed the card three times. At first, it was read once, after replacement, it began to count instead of 10 liters - one hundred. In the fifteen-liter bucket calmly entered 150 liters.



No, we were not forced to pay anymore, we had "unlimited", but there was a limit on the card itself, which we spent for a week.



We gathered, the card was reprogrammed... increasing the limit to some unrealistic amount, everything came to normal.



The frost came. The freezing is minus twenty-five. The place of action is Arkhangelsk, the European north of Russia, so such temperatures are quite in order of things.

The columns are frozen.

The worst thing is that when installing the Water Channel screamed about the presence of heating in the columns and that now there will be no freezing.

The old column, by the way, worked in minus thirty...



Called to the Water Channel, from there answer - while it is cold, we can do nothing but organize the transportation of water. Well, okay, civilization, the twenty-first century is... The car brings water, people stand with the waves on the frost. Elon Musk is?



After the frost, everything was restored, according to rumors, the heating column was not connected. For the savings.



It works again, again the sun and good thoughts, but suddenly the column at the house ceases to give water adequately. She flies three or four liters and cuts off. Think thirty seconds, give out a couple of liters and pause again. There are mysterious hieroglyphs.

As you understand, collecting such water is in principle unrealistic. A 15 litre hose is poured for five to seven minutes.



Water Channel workers arrived a week later, after bombing all organizations in a row with calls and emails, including the Surveillance and District Administration.

They came, came out of the car, looked at the column, and said, “Eye, so what kind of...electronic shell? We can’t do that...” and we left.



After getting to the reception to the head of the Water Channel (this quest) the problem was solved.

Removed the renovation, new, modern column and pulled the old, leverage type.

Do you think that’s all? No is. When they pulled, they dumbly dropped the cover of the well to the side, and then just pushed it back. Usually the columns are pulled out of the covers, pushed through the hole, the workers were lazy to squeeze the hole immediately.



The column began to freeze at minus ten.



The water channel sent the heaters reluctantly, the tenants did it themselves, and as a result, in the frost minus 36, the water channel workers foolishly hit the lever, put water on the strait, with an ultimatum to the locals: "If you turn off the column and it freezes - we will come only in the spring, because you are already busy, fuck."



The column was lily for more than a week, chasing the hern knows how many cubes of water, but what cattle took out the tree and the column froze again.

The controller on the phone directly said that the residents were warned and that now let them wait, because there are no specialists yet.



The column does not work. Complaints are written wherever possible, including the Supervision, the District Administration and the President. Waiting for an answer)

The case occurred in the early summer of 2019. Traditionally, in order not to be mistaken by the heat in the stone jungles, I take my family for the whole summer to the country. Well, accordingly, you need to buy all sorts of things for the summer, starting with food, ending with household chemicals, etc. After this, I went with my wife to the district center of the Tver region. We went into the fifth – that... In general, we got three (!) chariots with a hill, with the final amount of something in the area of 15 000 rubles (plus-minus for a long time I do not remember). When we went to the box office, an employee (who later turned out to be the director of this Five), a speeder for our mini caravan, opened the box office. Money on the card. Payment does not take place once, the second, the third (as it turned out later, that day there was some failure between Tinkoff and Sber, but then we did not know about it). No other cards. I leave my wife at the box and run to the nearest ATM to collect money. Sberbank, accordingly, the result is the same. There are no other banks in the city. I return to the box office, the employee offers to transfer her money to the card, and she will pay for us from her card. I transfer her, money goes away from me, she does not come to me. The situation is pathetic! Here she says, let me pay for you, and if I don't get the money until tomorrow, then you will send it to me tomorrow - here is my phone for communication. He pays our check with his card. I repeat, in the Tver region, believed in debt to people first seen 15,000 r.!



The next day she never got the money on her card, so we brought her cash. And another day, the girl called and said that she got our translation and she is now transferring the money back to us. This is a story of trust from strangers.

Scientists have found that COVID-19 is more active in the ass than in the nose. Does this mean that chickenpox is more contagious than chickenpox?

YYY: It is necessary to introduce the mandatory wear of anal blocks in public places. Imagine the process of checking for anal blockages when entering the store. LOL

It is a great mistake to rely on thieves and thieves. Sooner or later they will sell you. Nothing personal, just business.

I recently witnessed a movement. The teenagers ran along a frozen lake, and the grandmother who stood on the shore mocked them what the light was on. Here the ice broke, and one boy failed, and the others ran away instantly. And only the grandmother rushed to the boy and grabbed him with a clutch for the cap. Then she fell on the ice and began to run out to the shore, dragging a guy behind her. While I and a couple of other witnesses were running to the shore, she had already pulled out the victim and walked over him, waving with her stick. Grandma in the 80s. The Hero!

With tremendous relief and enthusiasm, the factory workers and village workers received the news that the 100 billion palace does not belong to Putin personally, but to his childhood friend.

One day, guests came to us from Belgium and brought wine. I have to say that in wine they do well, and my wife, at the time a future, also began to be interested in this, went to courses and so on.

So they opened a bottle of hamburger, tasting, trying to identify the notes.

My wife says, smell it. I try and say, yes, it smells of acetone. I was fucked, and used to a specialized site to read about the nose.

And whatever you think, the first line there is written "a pronounced smell of acetone", and a rapid shift of superstitious views to respectful ones. Since then, I have recognized the taste of dried finishes and the smell of purple several times, but the story with acetone is my favorite.

Our teacher of literature adhered to the canonical views “the poet thought precisely about what was written in the textbook approved by the plenum of the CPSU...” and any deviation from the “right” composition was punished with a low rating.

Then came the physmat and in 10th class we were transferred to another teacher of literature. The lady is very elevated with the classical image of the teacher of literature, a spiritualized look and a quiet voice. Seeing her so and wanted to start the dialogue with the phrase: "Let me ask...? "

And here, on September 1st, 14-year-old ballbesses, whose blood and brains boil out. One thought on “How do you see your school in 20 years?”

At the next class, the teacher reads the most successful and unsuccessful options, makes a selection, offers to discuss, participate (for us this is new).

I want, he says, to draw attention to one composition:

“Lasers perceive the perimeter of the school, recognizing students. The roof is guarded by blazers. After silencing the reactive suitcase, the first-class students run to the lesson.

We are sitting. And we want to rub, and we understand that the author has gotten. A couple in literature can be corrected, but to get in front of a new teacher is not the best idea.

And the teacher, with her voice from the Essenin readings, says: "This is what I understand, a thoughtful, literate approach to the work. No patterns and clichés, slogans and propaganda. Learn to think on your own. Five with a plus.”

When we lived in the USSR, there was no sex. Now that we have sex, we are not there.

His parents married students in the early 1980s. Once they were inexpressively lucky, they managed to buy a Finnish toilet, unusual then, blue color. Since they lived in the community, the toilet was guarded until the better times. Then the distribution to the north, again common. They finally got an apartment. Then came my mom’s grandmother.
Mom went to check her, Dad followed her, refused from the apartment, so she did not live in her. We lived with my grandmother, but it was not clear what would happen with the apartment too, the parents were on bird rights. Sanitary value in vain decided not to spend, wait for certainty. Everything resolved in favor of the parents, the grandmother calmly left. It would seem, here it is the star hour of the toilet, but the 90s went by. Everyone suddenly became not until repairs, here would survive. My parents were lucky for the second time. The house where we lived was bought for a hotel, and the parents provided another apartment with fresh excellent repairs. The blue friend is out again. I moved to a warehouse.
Years went by, we grew up, and here is finally my first apartment. I was immediately presented with the royal throne, but it did not enter my holopic bathroom. The hopes were placed on the sister, who, far from sin, dropped to work abroad. I got married and lived with my husband, after me they tried to give a gift, which my husband insistently refused, arguing that he already has a toilet.
Finally, the parents decided to repair. For the sake of such a sister came from another continent, to look at the established multi-suffering push. But to our eyes presented modern sanitary, shining banal whiteness. At the questions, the parents humbly turned their eyes away and answered something unclear.
I recently bought a dacha. I proposed to put the old man there to accomplish, so to speak, his life purpose, but my mother was very upset, like this came to my mind. It will be given to the grandchildren. All four immediately. And I wondered why other families inherit jewelry, paintings, books, photographs after all, and we have that.

So one day you will wake up, and all Russia is already rewritten to Rotenberg.

We went somehow with colleagues on a Friday evening in the sauna with a large male company. They got together as they should, drank in moderation, spoke from heart and slowly walked around the houses. One will leave, then a few will leave. The most persistent go the last, and one says:

Where are my cowards? I put them in the jeans pocket and hanged the jeans in the dressing room on the hook. Jeans are here, but no cowards in the pocket.

They sought, sympathized with him, he squeezed from the heart and went home without cowards. Stretched the jeans right on his naked ass and the width of the MPH barely stuck. I don’t know how they met him at home and whether he managed to hide from his wife the absence of cowards... But he knew it!

And another colleague, who left a little earlier, was met by his wife and teenage daughter at the entrance to the apartment and from the back pocket of jeans his wife was solemnly pulled out stylish "boxers" Calvin Klein.

During my pregnancy I was very careful. Around the tenth road public transport, any crowds, aggressive people - in short, everything that could bring physical harm to me and the future child. She was just “turned” in her safety.

One day my mom and I came back from a walk and found a suspicious smell of gas in the kitchen. Mom for the chance sent me out of the kitchen, and began to check if everything was okay with our gas plate.

I sat in the next room and listened tightly. Finally I asked with anxiety, “Are you okay?”

I heard my mother scream, “Lieve me!”

I also slept. by Pol. Covering his head with his hands. I still thought that, probably, now there will be an explosion, the debris of the walls will fly, like in a movie, and that my mother is just a hero, decided to protect me, pregnant, from the explosion, sacrificing herself.

I lie. A minute passed and no explosion. My mom comes into the room and wondered why I was lying on the floor in such a strange position.

It turns out that she heard me say I was not well. She advised him to lie down. Pregnant by no means. And then I went out to see if there was anything – waterboards there, or something else. With the gas, everything was fine.

When I was a kid, my parents and I lived in the far north.

My dad went to the tundra for a few months, my mom worked day by day. They survived as soon as they could. And here I was a beautiful five-year-old princess all the days sitting alone at home, doing only what I wanted, and I wanted to wreck my mom's closet and torture the cat. For the first time in a month, he washed, ate normally and decided to sleep like a white man in bed. My mother left for another day. I did the usual thing, dropped out her cosmetics, and in the 90s it was pretty bright and original cosmetics) painted as much as I could, and I could draw the mouth of a clown and fall black eyes blue, dressed Daddy's parade shirt with medals he skilled in Afghanistan passed, Mommy's fat, who didn't want to hold, had to fix it on the head with a frog mask. And all that princess from the horror movie went to wake her dad. With a wild whisper, I hit my dad with the words, “Look how beautiful I am.”

On this day, I learned what Russian language is diverse and powerful. Dad smoked again.

XHH: I once repaired the car in the garage and it caused me to joke. He took the old bag, pushed it into the bucket, went down there, tied the bag and put it outside the gate. I wanted to throw it in the garbage on the way home. As you may have guessed, the package has been removed. Moreover, it is unlikely that the thief would start unbinding the node, breaking the package faster.

One boy had a birthday (4 years old). A crowd of the same carapuses 3-4 years old.

The animator leads the party and says: guys, why are we all here? The children are a little dull and silent, looking at the animator with interest. The animator decides to suggest and continues:

Maybe today is New Year?

No is!

Maybe today is March 8th?

No is!

What is the celebration today? Let’s talk together, three or four!

All the children are chorus:

Three or four!

5 years ago, when he served in the Belarusian militia, he was driving with a partner on one of the streets in Minsk. On the sidewalk, he saw his sister talking to a girl. I asked my partner to stop and say hello to my sister. He got out of the car, approached them, hugged his head and greeted them. I have zero reactions, they talk. I’m standing, waiting, I think maybe the conversation is important, but inside it feels like something is wrong. I looked at my "sister" and realized that the features of the face were slightly different and the voice was different. But the hairstyle, the height, even the style of clothes like my sister’s. It came to me that it wasn’t her, I quietly turned, sat in the car, we left.

P.S I imagine what they thought: the mint came, stood quietly, listened to the conversation and left.)

Since the time of Ostap Bender, car runs have remained in Russia the most popular way to fight off-road.

My wife calls me:

- The cat came, sat on the laptop keyboard and he went out.

I, realizing that the combination of switching screens was probably pressed, first tried to explain what icons on the keyboard to look for... Then I realized that it was a long time and said that I would come in the evening to see.

He calls back.

You help everybody, but I can’t. and all. I fixed it myself without you.

How is? I ask.

The cat sat on the keyboard again. Everything worked out.

I went to the site with eco-cosmetics, and there... a shower gel in a brush. Gel for the soul in the brush! Millennials invented soap.