bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120872
 21.11.2015
XX: It seems I need to bring a bigger cup to work...until I get out of the cooler more than half I have time to drink)
Yyy: I have 0.6 cups
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
xxx: cut cone with a height of 11cm and diameters 8 and 6
You are a drug addict.
xxx is?? to
Zzzz: Did you measure specifically?
You ask me what I’ve done.)
ZZZ: What is it?
xxx: Wire and controller
You are a drug addict.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120871
 21.11.2015
And yet, if it were not the Russian language, Honduras would have remained a small, virtually unknown country in South America.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120870
 21.11.2015
> And you sit, scratching the tail — and where is the emphasis, how to read it correctly?"

What is the meaning of "Y"? To live in the same area from Mnevnik, to eat a fungus and to read articles about the Bereloch mammoth and not to suspect about it until the age of 35... I go out of the Soviet periodicals, so sublime hiding from me the world around me.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №120869
 21.11.2015
Charlie Sheen has announced that he is HIV-infected. According to some reports, he had about 5,000 sexual partners.
(Photo "partnership" by Charlie Sheen)

X: There and the man I look to the left...
Y: Five thousand people fucking, you think he had time to understand!? to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120868
 21.11.2015
In the morning in the office a slight confusion - the key from the office sorting disappeared. The castle was recently changed, duplicates have not yet been made, the key was one and lay on the cooler. has disappeared.
The trouble is that there is little public factory joy to go, especially to the ladies. The guilty is sought. I don’t know who it is, and there’s no key to it. We are waiting for the boss - he has a reserve from the set in the safe.
The chef arrives, we cling to the key a bell and some other snake, so as not to put it in the pocket, and we put it in a place for common use.
The situation dissipated, and the phrase: "The boss came and let everyone break up," acquired a new, major sound.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120867
 21.11.2015
The lamps!
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%
Minus one legend: the ordinary bulb, however, is not only real to put in the mouth, but also to remove.
No consequences, checked personally. First you need to put the vaseline to lubricate, and tilt the lamp when pulling out. Yes, go down after that. But indeed real!
? to
I really wonder how many people have moved on this old curse? ?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120866
 21.11.2015
The high taxes imposed by the state on small
This is necessary to enable the state to
provide financial assistance to small.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №120865
 21.11.2015
My wife and I live together. In a relatively small apartment. The number of rooms is twice the number of inhabitants. Do not be shorter.

We have electricity, sewerage, water supply and steam heating. High-speed wireless internet, dishwasher and washing machine. There are refrigerators and televisions, computers and phones, beds, sofas, clothes, shoes, dishes and other furniture with steam engines. And not that we are unrealistic riches, but the needs of special in nothing - we do not tolerate.
We did not steal it, but bought it for honestly earned money.
And we live as we like, and, gently speaking, not a lot of people fit into our lives. We prefer as closed as possible in the matter of privacy and personal space. My wife and I are not in solidarity.

But purely theoretically, in one of the empty rooms, we could settle homeless people living near garbage tanks. Well what? On the street it is cold, almost winter, people eat the hell knows what, drink from the bubbles some kind of poison, and we - warm and full of food refrigerator. It is unfair, probably.

And in the second empty room - we can easily place a large family with a heavily drinking feeder and an unclean feeder. A family that is about to be expelled to the frost for years of ignoring the payment of utilities.
Children are not guilty that their parents only do what they do and don’t pay their bills. Well, there is such a great hobby for people - to make new people. And accounts at the same time - extremely irritating and distracting from the process.
I understand. They need to be warm. There is a place. We only go into that room once a week when we clean up.

You can still set up a couple of students from the village on the kitchen sofa, and in the warehouse - to set up a shelter for wandering dogs and cats.
And to the toilet to let my aunt sickle out of the newspaper kiosk. Let it come in, and what? She sits there all day, without a toilet, poor. We are not sorry.

Then we will empty the refrigerator. Someone throws some shit into the toilet, and he gets killed. A washing machine is broken, a TV and a laptop are missing. Someone will bite all the furniture and scratch the wallpaper. Guests will go to the new tenants so often that the entrance door will stop closing in principle. Half of the bulbs will burn, it will smell bad and one of the steam heating batteries will inevitably run out. The neighbors will be overwhelmed and legal proceedings will begin.

My wife and I will become nervous and upset, poorly washed, minted and untouched. With great caution we will go to the kitchen, and in general to the apartment, and one day we will find in our bed drunk Nikolai of Ryazan, who came either to the students or to the many children bombs.
One of us will have a dog. I didn’t know she had dogs. Someone will have worms. Pediculosis will become our usual word.

Then they will just beat us. No matter what. For refusing to give money or for looking at someone wrong. Or just get kicked out of the house. Or at least they will be cut off. Very even easy. Chick, and you are in heaven.
Who needs refugees?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №120864
 21.11.2015
In the United States, another teacher is accused of intimate relations with a student. Will it ever end? How much more will these little bitches carry?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120863
 21.11.2015
Often from my childhood I remember not what our Russian teacher taught me, but the case when a drunk man gave me three rubles.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120862
 21.11.2015
What do you know about greed? I know a family who bought a place in the cemetery in advance. And so that the earth doesn’t stand just so, they plant potatoes there.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120861
 21.11.2015
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Anger of the width box ktesvous I will order whispering passionately compassionate Karlych advice"

I intuitively understand that they are trying to tell me something. Did Noosphere personally get in touch?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120860
 21.11.2015
Families of parents 10 years ago managed to buy out a written customs spaniel, and after some time bought a house owned by Roma. This beautiful woman raised a lot of drug goodness.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120859
 21.11.2015
There are Spider-Man, Spider-Man, Iron Man, and other superheroes. And we have a new director, "of his" appointed. And judging by the style of conducting business in the organization... he is also a superhero: a deer man.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120858
 21.11.2015
They are fucking! Are you so attached to IKEA? Is it hard for you to collect this stuff? There for the fools in the instructions everything is written. My daughter under my supervision assembled a box with three boxes. My daughter 10 years. And you can’t gather healthy men.)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120857
 21.11.2015
The fact that the Japanese are perverse, came to mind not because of the tantakle toys and not because of the anime about the perverse sur-yuri bears, but because of such an insignificant detail as the "chicken with yakuza" in school buffets. They make sandwiches filled with LAPSHI, their Japanese mango! O.O

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120856
 21.11.2015
I bought a car. We have received numbers "728". We live on the 7th floor, the number of our apartment is 28. I thought, my phone number ends in 728, and my wife’s 728 stands in front of the last number.
Learned today: My doctor 14.04.1981, wife - 12.04.1983. The difference is 728 days.
I looked at the capsule with horror before sending this quote...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120855
 21.11.2015
What did you do, brother Sassuolo? Do you know whose son I am?
and tea?
The God. Come to church on Sunday.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120854
 21.11.2015
Who are you in the sign of the zodiac?
and cancer.
and well. Can you whisper?
I know.
You know, let’s go to the mountains.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120853
 21.11.2015
All of one:
My friend’s name is Notary. Name, not type of activity. How many charming people write to him almost every day! In addition, they ask questions, which in the notary office, in principle, will be answered free of charge (specifically specified). You have to go to the office! to call! Sit in line!

The murmur:
Oh LOL
I hope no one with the name Photographer, he in Vkontakte is over.

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