In the morning, at the end of the month, we draw the results. I hear the silent, desperate voice of a male colleague coming from the office in front of me: “Blood, where are you, flow to the brains.”

XXX: What did you do today?
erotic kickboxing :D
The xxx:????? to
yyy: the cock pins all day)

Tagged with "Avatar" and "Hunger Games":
You have to choose a husband.
How do I know it is him?
He will want to kill you.

P.S On the page with the announcement of Microsoft's withdrawal from the old versions of IE you can see photos of many happy people. They are front-end developers.

A circus burned during the repair. Commentary of the head of the local GU of the Ministry of Emergencies on the Ryazan City website:

The circus is under reconstruction. There are no people or animals at the moment, but the builders could still be there.”

In principle, there is nothing more to say...

fireglrx: We are already discussing the possibility of Russians traveling to Turkey through Belarus on bulb-TV. The country is becoming a giant proxy.

6a6ka: I am sitting in the police station, the disappearance of a personal vehicle is registered. The young captain personally puts everything into the computer. Over it, as a technical support hangs a sergeant. The captain asks:
Number of vehicle?
by M404at.
The sergeant’s squeezed laugh with a whisper: “Well, it’s natural,” and the captain’s surprised voice: “Have we had a similar number before yesterday, why do we react like this a second time?”

At the LFC, a very fat man was engaged in fitness. She asks the nurse:

If I’m afraid to jump on him, will he survive?

He is confident:

Of course, it will endure, and they did not do so!



Well, he ran away and with all of the crack on him and jumped. The ball exploded and the man broke his nose.

lazy_flyer: "All economy and planning is a means of determining how to spend available resources so as to get more goods". Cut gold in the granite.
Pokerfrog: Gold in granite is easy. A clear illustration of "how to spend available resources so as to get more goods"

The secret to a successful life is to solve your problems, not the problems of Arabs on TV and elves in a toy.

Flight of Aeroflot. We passed the control, we sit in the economy, in the tail, the passengers are almost all Russians, all acidic... boring, in general.
Just gained height, as a neighbor gets out of his pocket 20 U.S. rubles and, touching the shoulder of the uncle sitting in front of him, with an innocent look stretches him a paper:
Please pass on the trip!
The uncle on the machine takes the backs, hangs for a couple of seconds, and then, lighting up his face and conspiracy-chicking, does the same with the passenger in front of him. Under the growing bustle and laughter in the cabin, the twentieth reached the focus and fell into the hands of a cute lady.
The uncle immediately commented: said, and the lady is nice, and the entire plane crashed for just 20 backs.
This story should have ended if it wasn’t for the girl. Then, kneeling to the one who handed over the money, he rises from the chair and with a serious sight hides behind the shell where the stewardesses hang. It was quiet in the cabin, like in the morrow before the New Year.
Somewhere in a minute the lady returns and all with the same unwavering look gives twenty to the one from whom she received, and says something quietly to him.
Now the wave of rust has gone in the opposite direction and reached us in the form of the same twenty that the neighbor received from the crying uncle with the words:
- The pilots have no small things, asked without surrender!

A Soviet-era joke has suddenly become relevant.
The Armenian Radio:
In Moscow – Mosenergo, in Leningrad – Leningrad, and in Kherson?
In Hertfordshire, there is no electricity.

From the listener:

“No, Cole doesn’t wear glasses, he just has eyes like that!

I’m afraid to meet this car now...

to this:

All the difference between our and Western mentality can be seen from the turnikets in the subway. The western system turbines are closed, but they will open immediately as soon as you pay for the ticket. Soviet turnikets are always open, but if you do not pay, they strangely and painfully beat below the belt.

If you think a little, you can understand that the difference is not in the mentality, but in the course of engineering thought. Our turnikets have a much higher capacity - you don't have to wait for the door to be opened (and if you still realized that the ticket can be applied immediately after it was removed by the previous passenger, there would be no congestion at all). And accordingly lower energy consumption - it is not necessary to open the doors before each passenger and then close them. But yes, they are less resilient.

by Darina Kupriyanova:
I am reading excerpts from the history exam.
" and 44 Theme "The Inquisition"
When they caught witches, they long discovered where the witch's power came from and with whom it became impure.
Sorry, but how did you find out?

Hope of Popov:
They took strength tests and carried out harvesting. If something dark collapses in Petri’s cup, pulls his legs and says to the lab assistant, “Mom!” – it’s clearly unclean.

Toka sho with the security guard of the night store in the area found out that we have common noble roots.

Kinder came from school and told them that they were told that the safety rules were written in blood.
Yes, we say, the blood of those who did not observe them.

I wonder, Kidder thought, and then whose handwriting?? to

Those kinds of colleagues

From the morning, the ladies hit the wrong fork in the socket and were outraged that there was no internet for half a day, and the provider doesn't even itch.

After lunch, someone's dull mind dug to the cause (the furnace of the heater and the pilot in which the router is like).

The joke of the day - we distribute the internet through the heater

You take too much on yourself.

Do they not too much decide what is safe for me and what is not?

Because when something happens to you, you will go to the embassy to ask for help, your parents will claim compensation, your children and your wife will ask for the allowance for the loss of a caregiver. What if you were so determined by millions of idiots? They don’t want to take responsibility for your nonsense and savings on vacation. And I’t want.

Harsh weather
first - 30, now the second day +5
The city floated, lining on the ice
In order to get to work, we need to climb the garden where our building stands.

I say to you: Bagira, I’m already lying.