bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120912
 22.11.2015
The level of intelligence is not manifested in secular conversations, but in household quarrels.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №120911
 22.11.2015
Excellent story about Donetsk
1st The level of education of the author of the text is in the range of students 3-5 grade of general education school. Lack of knowledge of life realities, primitive associative chains such as "covering road + homeophone = rich house", "expensive cigarettes - Parliament and Malborough", "expensive clothes - Gucci and Coco Chanel", "expensive car - Volvo and Mercedes". The constant mention of brands of manufacturers is clearly not of a promotional nature. Prospective expressions such as "in the old age" etc., numerous repetitions of words without replacement by synonyms. All this indicates a low social level of the author and a very small vocabulary.
2nd The text uses two sets of stable stamps and twists, indicating that the text has two authors of approximately the same level.
Three The level of knowledge of the Russian language is extremely low, the vocabulary is small. However, the features of the construction of proposals do not allow to determine the native languages of the authors. It would be more accurate to say that among the earthly languages there is no one that is native to the author.
The combination of these findings served as the basis for the guess that texts of non-human origin are published under the pseudonym "Daria Dontsov". The repeated study gave the following results:
1st Creatures look at the world from a height of 10 to 15 centimeters, from which any heels are "high", all rooms are "enormous", houses and fences are "healthy" and so on.
2nd Animals do not belong to cats. They don’t know how to catch small rodents. Probably these are dogs. Specific "proverbs" such as "Who's meat, who's bones" and the like, excellent knowledge of favorite dog entertainment and tastes, good knowledge of inexpensive dog food.
Three If it were possible to make such an unrealistic assumption, we would argue that the texts submitted for the study were written by a couple of elderly mops who came out of the period of reproductive activity. As Professor P. Leighhausen, a member of the research group, noted: “If I were offered to describe people’s lives from the point of view of a mops, using the knowledge of a mops and suggesting the possible vocabulary of a mops living in a poor family, it would be very similar!”

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №120910
 22.11.2015
The salaries of members of the Duma have again increased. This is the third such case in the last year and a half. Legislators are not yet able to explain the nature of this mysterious phenomenon.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120909
 22.11.2015
xxx: In repair to come to us more foreigners than jewelry is just statistics. So your myths about reliability are foul.
yyy: Gygulms are less likely to be brought because they are customary to repair themselves in garages with a beer bowl)))))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №120908
 22.11.2015
It will be like this:

Why do cats sit in boxes? They pay tribute to the Schrödinger Cat. They do not give at the same time.

[ + 30 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120907
 22.11.2015
Why do you need accounting programs?
How for what? To reduce unemployment, of course. Where one accountant used to sit, there are now an operator, a programmer, an electronist, five adjusters and a computer chief. And they still cheat them.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120906
 22.11.2015
But animals take the best from people.

yyy (especially large predators)

Yyy: Ah, the liver there, the heart, the hand, the leg...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120905
 22.11.2015
One software developer “hidden” a $1,000 prize in a software license agreement to check if anyone was reading it. It took five months and three thousand sales before the first real buyer claimed his prize.
You still don't read the license agreement, crying your money.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120904
 22.11.2015
Do men’s eating habits change when they get into women’s society? This is what the researchers decided to find out. They chose to observe a pizzeria that works on the principle of "Eat as much as you want".

Men who ate lunch with women ate more than those who ate lunch with other men: on average, they consumed 93% more pizza and 86% more salad.

Looking at the subject from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, the researchers suggested that men were fattened to impress their companions. “Our observations of men who were ‘densely fed’ are reasonable to perceive in the context of evolution as ‘beautiful’,” she writes.

At the same time, the researchers found that women ate the same portions in both male and female society. However, in the male society, women still felt like they had eaten too much.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №120903
 22.11.2015
The case was in Kamchatka, until they once again dressed the hose that fell from everywhere, spoke with Peter Weil for life, culture and author song as one of its, culture, manifestations. Weil said that 99 percent of all Bard’s works fit into one quadruple:

I love the author’s song.
With the guitar at the fire.
And all, fucking, around, all, fucking together,
Oh shit, until the morning!

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120902
 22.11.2015
People are needed to be beautifully beating in ecstasy from the hood for shooting in the show "Apartment Question".

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120901
 22.11.2015
xxx: in the news write, Kudrin called for overcoming the barrier between power and society
YYY: Something about taxes?
XX: Yes, they just want to get back from society to power.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120900
 22.11.2015
Today’s theme: "Routes and roads"

Residents of the Moscow region, who will answer the question: what fucking track on the MKAD in the extreme left and not in the extreme right?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №120899
 22.11.2015
I can tell you about my feelings in German.
to go.
They are breathing. What would you answer to that?
Hitler’s coat

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №120898
 21.11.2015
Are you everything? He gently asked the female godmother.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120897
 21.11.2015
“Shark, please apologize, otherwise my husband will call you for a duel!”
In French – on swords until first blood, or in English – on pistols until death?
- The duel will be Russian: he will come with the crowd and you will just get rid of it!

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120896
 21.11.2015
Lie in the hospital. A neighbor with appendicitis. Young, beautiful (but it doesn’t matter), three young children. Luckily in the operation. Then the word to her:
- I lie, the drug is already being prepared to put, or it has already been put. And suddenly I hear one surgeon say to the other: “Wearing gloves, she has HIV.” I am in shock: I have HIV??? She said, “I’m not bite. The dog was surprised. I say "I don’t have HIV" The surgeon says "Why not? Here is the reference: Semenova - HIV". I: "So I am not Semenova, I am Mikhailova" :facepalm:
I then say to the neighbor (when she told me): This is interesting, and suddenly this Semenova has not yet had appendicitis. I’t hear you cut off your gallbladder.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №120895
 21.11.2015
You have overestimated self-esteem.
You say it’s my fault that I’m better than you.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120894
 21.11.2015
Tagged: apple
Yyy: Hey Palehche, she is not 18, yet pedophiles are jailed. I have to say "I want her to be a wife"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120893
 21.11.2015
On the Habra discussion of self-branded armor for the cat:
The SunX:
Judging by the fact that the cat so strongly presses the back of the body to the ground - he is not very happy with this armor and moreover does not quite understand what is happening :)
by NetJorika:
I think they caught a cat bag. Judging by how pressed to the ground he walks on the video, the cat thinks that he was caught behind his back and is not ready for such armor.
and Apathetic:
This is not a bag, it is a ficha.
The K12th:
This is a well-known bag. You can stick a cat painted scotch (to not rub the wool - not a heavy and not a big piece) on the side, on the back, on the stomach, and he will walk, trying to "drop" the "obstacle".
and itsplus:
My cat had an updated firmware. None of them worked with Scotch.
by fantom4ik:
Have you purchased with an updated firmware or updated yourself? I just checked my cat on the bag and it’s present... unfortunately (:
and itsplus:
I bought it, so probably the former owner apologized.
The K12th:
Oh these vendors, for humans out how many bageroports and at least one fix, and for cats please :(

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