bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №120232
 04.11.2015
It is SPB. In a bar near the house, during the day in the sunshine, the sellers require a passport from everyone before selling alcohol. In the evening, after 22 begins the ban on the sale - the boiler moves to the dark side, now asking only to buy a black package.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120231
 04.11.2015
How are you?
Like in hell...
Fire, mountains, my star

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120230
 04.11.2015
A woman does not know what she wants right away and much.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №120229
 04.11.2015
They went to the store with a scarf, a puppy runs near the garbage tanks.
Look at the puppy!
and oh! Out of Path! The Chicken Chip!
However, the puppy, noticing our approach, pulled his tail and hid in the nearest bushes.

On the way back, he met us again, now a little further away, near a private house on the corner. The puppy metals, then ticks the mouth into the boards of the old fence, because of which the dog laughed, then jumping out on the passing part. The cars slowed, but getting under the wheels for him was a matter of time.

We approached the fence and looked over the fence. There were two adult dogs and a few puppies running in the yard. They are the closest relatives to the outside.

This is where he came from! We have understood. Go out and you can’t find the way back.

They began to catch a puppy. The puppy did not walk in his hands, turned, cuddled, bit, and tried to bite. Once again, jumping out on the passing part, he barely fell under the wheels of the passing audi. The Audi driver stopped, turned on the emergency signal, got out of the car, and began to help us.
Their own? He asked in the process.
– Yes not! We answered by knocking on the fence. He seemed to have jumped out somehow. We just went by.

The three of us finally managed to squeeze the puppy to the fence, I took it for the skin, and as carefully as I could, threw it into the territory where the dog’s swallow walked. The puppy splashed to the ground, jumped up, ripped off, and instantly lost among exactly the same relatives. The dogs in the yard welcomed him, fortunately, as a parent.

We breathed up with relief, and we were about to go each on his own way, as suddenly the entrance door of the house opened, and a aunt in a cloak appeared on the doorstep. “I will begin to thank you. Melted in the head. I should have left immediately.”

However, instead of thanking, the aunt for some reason made a wild expression of her face, and cried out exhaustedly:

What are you doing, shit? and?! to

We just went... the puppy is running...

What, again? There was a fierce man’s voice coming from the house.

Do you imagine? The grandmother answered indignantly. The Fourth! The fourth puppy. Here are shit! Where are they taking them? I found a fucking dog!! I am happy with them!

We did not hear further. Only the wind whispered in our ears as we flattered from the front of the struggle of goodness with justice.
Whether the Audi driver survived, we do not know.
We will keep an eye on the news.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №120228
 04.11.2015
There was a DDoS attack on the Russian mail, someone sent two letters at once.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120227
 04.11.2015
and whispering:

In the spring the pigs went for a walk.
I had not known a happier family.
Hru-hru" said the happy mother,
And the children whispered: "Y-y!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120226
 04.11.2015
<xxx>How is it? Tell me how! How can people who have not played in the third characters write reviews on the seventh?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №120225
 04.11.2015
Sberbank sent me a SMS, offering me a loan for 24.5%. Probably from my contribution of 10.5%. This is almost three times the amount of the loan offered. The banking business is banking.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №120224
 04.11.2015
>> > Formally yes, in fact under Gorbachev it was no longer the USSR

With each secretary-general there was its own unique and unlike the previous and subsequent USSR.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120223
 04.11.2015
I received a message from a well-known software company. They write about important changes in my personal office. It starts as follows: "Dear $CUST_FULL_NAME!"
and OOPS.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №120222
 04.11.2015
Quote from 2015:
"10 years ago no one could even imagine what the toilet could need a socket."

Lukyanenko ("Summer Watch") from 2003:
The network connection was found in the wall of a large bathroom, well yet, from the studio. I thought it wasn’t easy and looked into the bathroom. So it is - next to the non-existent toilet there was another network connector."
It is true that it is a network connector, but, we must think, the power was also present. Weifai in the sort of the writer could not foresee, here you will not argue...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120221
 04.11.2015
And you know, Drozdova straight during the air of the snake crushed.
He keeps joking, he’s human.
At the end of the show I went to the hospital.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120220
 04.11.2015
I started listening to "The Witch" in mp3. Soon I discovered that forgetting to turn off "shuffle" can make the plot much more twisted.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №120219
 04.11.2015
In 2000, I flew from Israel to Moscow and back with my army bag. When he explored it in Israel, he found in it two full horns of M-16.

YYY: The Chekists apparently wavered when they all watched you where and to whom you passed these horns, and you took them back with a trollface.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №120218
 04.11.2015
You broke my head with your cuts! Here, the TS is a topicstarter, in the comments above, the TS is a vehicle. Where do you spend the energy saved on cuts?

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №120217
 04.11.2015
When will November 3 end?
XXX is on the earth.
YYY: Today at 12
This is in Moscow it will end at 12
XXX: And on Earth?
YYY: on Earth too at 12
What time is it at 12?
YYY: Local
xxx: thank you

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120216
 04.11.2015
I invited a girl to a first date. She sent a text message that could not come, with three grammar errors. It was the first time I was so happy that I was caught up.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120215
 04.11.2015
Many young parents are familiar with the concept of "touch box" (boxes with beans or small stones to improve children's fine motor skills).

And we have sensory cat food throughout the hallway. The fucking:

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №120214
 04.11.2015
Discussion of the series "Ekaterina the Great" and the actress who played the main role:

- or maybe before questioning the actress, you need to look at the real photos of Catherine II? Sniper is perfect for this role!

The real picture of Ekaterina the Second, Karl!

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120213
 04.11.2015
X: The security guard asked me not to throw away the conncots.
X: He sits at night and dismisses them from bad deeds.
X: The Pillow

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