bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №120252
 05.11.2015
In the cold season of the year, they decided to hang food out of the window... until they noticed that it was stolen by crows! They dragged our bags with food, addicts worn. I had to break up in the refrigerator.

At the time, we successfully slapped the mailbox behind the window: it was made of DVP and saved from crows.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №120251
 05.11.2015
I watch football, the match Chelsea-Dinamo, in the upper corner is written CHEL 0-0 DNA, a girl fits and asks:
"Who is playing? Humanity against DNA?"

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120250
 05.11.2015
A colleague, a 45-year-old mother of a high school student and a first-class student, thoughtfully issued:

Nothing makes a woman older than adult children.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №120249
 05.11.2015
X: Should I try a new OS?
Yes, this is a very useful asshole.
XXX: Well, this is how I work without a new OS...

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120248
 05.11.2015
FB by Tatiana May:
With the permission of the owner, he removed the shelter.
A friend is a librarian at school. My son is more interested in computers than in studying, as many people do now. Here, after another couple in literature, he was expelled from the comp and sent to read "The Captain's Daughter" with a subsequent recital. I have read. I came to tell. At first, everything is fine, but now comes the second chapter. I quote: And then they were driving in the steppe, there was a turmoil, the road was slow, they were lost. They began to freeze. But then we met gay..."
Mother in shock: Who?
Son: “Well, gay, blue, but he was a good man, he showed them the way.
My mother has a heart and a book. All by Pushkin. Heroes go to the mouthpiece on the steppe, lose the road, and then a man appears in the mouthpiece (Pugachev) and they turn to him: "Gay! You are a good man!"
It’s a pity that I’ve grown up and I don’t get that much anymore. Although "in bright swamps" we still remember.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120247
 05.11.2015
With GT from news discussion: "Sennheiser will release a new version of the Orpheus headphones for $55,000".

Listening to music on the headset model released in 1991, some people even cried (c)

XXX: A very cheap show

yyy: They may pay after receiving a loan of $55,000

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №120246
 05.11.2015
“Nikita, don’t take all the toys, you won’t take them all at once.
Dad, you are yourself now.

[ + 28 - ] [7 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №120245
 05.11.2015
and Rish:
I have lived in the apartment for 4 years. During this time, three men who cared for me beat their heels in the chest that it was necessary to make a repair, "because it is impossible to live like this!". The first came together immediately after the offer to help. The second said, “Take it all out, and I’ll make it all right.” Well, I didn't have much time to crack it before it merged - it turned out to be cosmetic. The third took the matter with enthusiasm, crushed to the state of ruins and - right! He fell in an unknown direction. I, as a mother, went to ask for help from others. It dispersed the last cavalry in this way (although probably for the best). Borrowed to the edge of a best friend, crushed with a bat, who was also lazy for a teacher’s salary to hire a brigade of good guys, had to master everything himself: concrete contact, spatle, glue, wallpaper, blow drill, hammer, scissor, screwdriver, in general, a full set. Today, I saw the cabinet with an electroplate, of course, broke the pile. I went to the store, explained to my uncle what I needed, chose, paid, he wrapped me, I stood and fought: "Lord, what a fuck, oh, I'm a small fragile blonde, and I'm doing such a fist!" My uncle cautiously gave me a very careless phrase: "So a friend needs to be made that he does!"... In short, he, in my opinion, offended my homeric rust :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120244
 04.11.2015
An acquaintance, a business woman just over 40, who has already visited almost all plastic surgeons in our small town in pursuit of going away youth (I think everyone knows that the abundance of plastic is rarely successful), put it in social media. online photo from the holiday - our "heroine" next to a huge crocodile... I really want to leave a comment: "e*at... this is a crocodile!!!" but I am afraid that the surrounding "right" will understand me... :-D

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №120243
 04.11.2015
Speech of the Mayor of Kiev
The main thing is, try it.
I have nothing specific to object to.
The ideal politician

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120242
 04.11.2015
XX: I don’t think... They have a characteristic rounding of corners, too square.
yyy: Too square rounding – you’re a designer, right?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №120241
 04.11.2015
An American boxer explained shooting in gay porn as a benefit... an athlete, a boxer, a gay, a movie... what a boring life we live...

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №120240
 04.11.2015
The forum. Topic "In which district does the governor live?"
The comments:
He walks with bodyguards everywhere.
The love of man̆ is afraid :-)

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №120239
 04.11.2015
I am currently doing an online shop. Well, some actors in their youth in erotics or porn were filmed, for the sake of money, well, and as if the beginning of an acting career. Here I drink this site for money, well, like some experience. Just like those actors. And I want something big, clean and light, there is Java or.net. The main thing is not to get stuck in this "porno" forever.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №120238
 04.11.2015
Comments on "Photos of the Palace of Shoigu"
xxx: Only when I saw it I recalled the music from the Opplot in Heroes 3 and thought about hiring gold dragons and unicorns?
yyy: So here are you, PAK-FA and "Armata"...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120237
 04.11.2015
Alexis the Elder:
I would also call my son Alex. It will be the youngest.

The polarity:
The oldest was indeed a dude.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №120236
 04.11.2015
I read the following quote (best one year ago):

The perfect way to get rid of uninvited guests is to place a bill receiver instead of a door call.

And I thought: to quickly unlock the business, it would be good to buy a perforator.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №120235
 04.11.2015
She quarreled with relatives, went on the internet and angrily ordered expensive wheels for races, which she lived for a year. I saw them come to me, and my mood improved immediately.
It is said that for girls, the best remedy for depression is shopping.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №120234
 04.11.2015
20 years ago
A red tail hanging in the middle of the screen

Our days
3D TV and h/b cat nearby :)

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №120233
 04.11.2015
Here too, something like that needs to be put in place, so that something like that will fly and make everyone...dumb. Infernal is a spectacle.

Well, the dragon, Tolkien wrote that greed, greed and a lot of gold attract dragons.

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