bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119612
 19.10.2015
In 1988, three new colors were added to the X11R2 GUI, including two identical shades of grey, which, however, were written differently, as “gray” and “grey”. During a colour discussion at the JavaScript conference last year, developer Alex Sexton said that Hewlett-Packard programmers couldn’t remember the correct writing of “grey” through “a” (Gray), so a duplicating variant (Grey) was added to avoid code errors.


[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №119611
 19.10.2015
18597 - so thick that it is perceived as a landscape element. He is so thick that he doesn’t even move. It’s so thick... And it’s already in the artwork, what are you standing?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №119610
 19.10.2015
Diamond: Yesterday the lights were turned off, made sandwiches in the dark
diamant: laptop and mobile phone discharged, lamp not found, but remembered about flash photocopy
Diamond: Now I have 130 steps-by-step sandwiches

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119609
 19.10.2015
Merera: I had to cooperate with the firm that put these (cellular) towers, listened to stories about the resistance of the public. In the villages, during the design and construction, it was sometimes necessary to call the father to dedicate the different stages of the construction of the tower, so that the passions did not burn. As it was told, on one tower, going to meet the peasants, the Orthodox cross was twisted from above neutralizing harmful rays.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119608
 19.10.2015
Isn’t it time for us to transfer Sergey Kuzugetovich to agriculture?

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №119607
 19.10.2015
A story told by a friend. I do not claim credibility.
We went with the company to relax in nature. I saw a tree that was dotted with bobber. A thick trunk throughout the length and in the place where the bobber worked, a pencil-thick trunk. It looks strange, but the tree holds on that lighthouse, then the bobber makes the control piece and the tree rolls into the water. So these fools pushed the tree to the other side and it fell into the forest. Bober, who watched it, whispered and whispered like angry. My friend assured me that he had clearly heard the words “Pidarasa” and “Svoloči”.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119606
 19.10.2015
Sometimes there is a strange feeling of being in a country where the authorities do not love and offend us. But it is worth turning on the TV as the swelling passes.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119605
 19.10.2015
Stops a guy on the street in the evening: says - is it to smoke?
I am: Oh you are dumb!
How many daughters?
I am two.
He is weak.
and left...

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №119604
 19.10.2015

Twelve years ago, I received a pilgrimage tour as a prize for journalistic activity. She was at the time pregnant with the fourth child, and as if the trip was covered with a copper pelvis. Do not miss the good!
She called the cousin (the baptismal father of the eldest son), there the whole family is in church, asked - maybe they need it.
He immediately thought, and to his wife:
Can I send your mother?
- So she has no money, and still need to spend on the little things - souvenirs there, eat on the road...
Not a problem!
She recruits a maid:
Do you want to go free at sea?
He wants, by himself. But there is no money.
He takes the test:
- Dad, do you want to send my mom Galle to Solovki for free?
That humorous man whispered straight into the phone.
That’s how Galla’s mother went...to the sea...for free...in October, it seems...
But I was not upset, to be honest, very happy returned, and brought me an elegant photo album about Valaam... :D

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №119603
 18.10.2015
Pinky is already paranoid... How is the syndrome called when random phenomena are taken for patterns?
YYY : The religion.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119602
 18.10.2015
They are tired of God. Seventy-seven ishacks with giant bolts are waiting for the Shahids-Mahids.
YYY: What are you tired of? Do you pinch too often?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119601
 18.10.2015
Marine photo of the aircraft carrier with a steering mark on an empty deck.

Here you can learn to drift very quickly.
There are no boat fencing on the turns.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №119600
 18.10.2015
Minister of Communications and Mass Communications Nikolai Nikiforov said that Russian electronics will soon become the norm for ordinary Russians.
He did not ignore the attention and professional structures:
...For example, a doctor’s tablet will process sensitive personal data of the population..."
Sensitive personal data?
Will the letters be ticked?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №119599
 18.10.2015
from the hub, discussion of Yandex and Film Search:

Ankh1989: It seems that the stock of Yandex is time to sell
Andorro: “To sell something unnecessary, you must first buy something unnecessary, and we don’t have the money!”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №119598
 18.10.2015
My son is in fifth grade. Looking at his presentation, he does not know what "cartridge" is, instead of it he wrote "cactus", but correctly wrote the words "desinfection" and "carbole".

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №119597
 18.10.2015
Are you not enjoying the collective? Become the boss, then the team will have to get along with you!

[ + 60 - ] Comment quote №119596
 18.10.2015
I am in the tax office, I need to report.
A guy is sitting in front of me, the line of three forks, however, we have almost reached it, now to go to him, then to me... here in the corridor a lady of the type of "nuclear warhead" breaks. The shape of the warhead, the grenadier step and Stalin's ass. Well, maybe it’s a little short, but it’s halfway to its ideal.
Norwegians go by without a turn.
So yes, I am a moment, I am there and there...
Here comes the turn of the guy, not thinking long, he removes the lady and the whole corridor:
“And you, Cornet, I’ll ask you to stay.
Madame crumbles, the guy enters the office, we barely hold back from whirling, but we wait patiently.
Realizing that the number has not passed, the lady takes a position at the office, so that she immediately runs there - and begins to go away from the people. But without much enthusiasm. I am thinking what to do - to push it away, or how... but to scandalize reluctance... and here!
The boy is out, the aunt is stressed, now it is on the start...
Looking at her, the man says.
Good, good is good. The girl would be more beautiful.
The aunt is finally crumbling, filled with bad paint, I slide into the office - and already from there I hear such a whisper that the walls tremble. When I went out, she left.
Not a single rude word, but what is the result? Everyone has the mood in the plus, and the hiccups in the minus.
More such men.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №119595
 18.10.2015
Do you have a crane? Burned the straw? The computer does not work? "Deputy for an hour" - nothing will be repaired, will prove that everything is well with you and leave you without money.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №119594
 18.10.2015
> husband (hereinafter - M)

This M then meets twice. It saved four letters (x 2), for which it used six, and two more clamps and defices and difficulty reading the dialogue.
What a stupid habit? Reductions are needed for Konstantin Konstantinopolis. Not needed for everyone else. Especially remarkable when this reduction goes for just one phrase in a dialogue.

Interestingly, when will publish Auditor with B and D instead of Bobchinsky with Dobchinsky. This will save paper and time for readers reading on slogans.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №119593
 18.10.2015
Xxx: In general, we in Russia have no problems with zombies... They are dead – the blood does not circulate. As soon as there is a minus 1 degree, they immediately freeze. And here you will be able to walk with the beat and break the funny ice figures.

Zzz: Therefore, you should be concerned in advance about the coat of cloth with heating and helmet.

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