Get the keys!
Consciousness: Yes, we haven’t arrived yet
Get the keys! Get the keys! Get the keys!
Consciousness: well well
(I have the keys)
Brain: Lošara =) Here and go now another mile with the keys in hand

Beer without alcohol, e-cigarettes, sausages without meat, Terminator with age rating 12+, and now Playboy without naked babes, the world is increasingly becoming artificial.
The plastic world won, the makeup proved to be stronger.

Article "Double Life: How ideal profiles in social networks crazy their owners and their friends", the essence of which is that "not everything is gold that shines" and so on.
The commentary:
Excellent, or too positive photos in vk from my ex. Now I’ll think she’s sitting on cocaine...Al, it’s a reason for jealousy – cocaine, cock, dear.

She was born and grew up in a neighborhood built by Khrushchev five-story buildings. A few days ago I went to visit a former classmate, who now lives in a long 16-storey house, in an apartment under the number seven hundred fifty. There are two such houses in the yard. She shares the feelings:

There are more people in one court than in our entire district. In the morning, the pressure in the parking lot is worse than in our school dressing room!

YYU: I am not fat, I just have a heavy character.

Karoche, an anecdote: A man sits on a train in a coupe with three other men. They sit all night and the numbers call each other and cheat as bad. Well, our man is somewhat new in specifics, and asks:
Men, what is the joke?
One of them explains to him:
“Karoch, we have met on this train every year for twenty years, we go one night and tell each other anecdotes. And since we have all learned them, so as not to waste time, we simply numbered them all and do not tell the joke itself, because it is long, we just call the number.
They are carousel, they continue.
Well, our man just got into all this, thought for a long time, sat listening, then decided to join them. He waited for a pause and said:
This is 18468!
After watching, nobody laughs. He says:
Oh guys, is there anything like that?
Yes, they are answering.
Maybe he’s not funny?
It’s funny, and the main thing.
Why are you not laughing? He asks.
Some people can tell anecdotes, others can’t.
P.S Here you, yes, you are the one who put the type number 18567 at the beginning of the quote. Do not waste my time first. And secondly, you can’t tell an anecdotes, so bad to start. Thank you in advance for your understanding.

Worse than Sisadmin, who has nothing to do, can only be a security man who has nothing to do :(

I finally made sure that my Lumia on Windows 8.1 is listening to me.

Otherwise, how to explain the fact that I changed the crane for the water filter-trojnik (I bought and installed it, nothing on the Internet on this topic was not sought, because. I know how and what to do), and the next day on the page of one of the sites appeared an advertisement Yandex-Direct drinking filter-trojnik?

Fuck it, ch...

From a colleague’s story:

(k) Standing in a row in a macau, some girl on a white BMW is well attached to Mitsubishi’s back, probably sitting in the phone or something. He got his ass well, left back, went out, looked at the damage, sat back... and again entered the man...

A man runs out of the car and says, “You’re stupid?”
The girl comes out and answers very calmly: "Well, what? I got it back as it was!"

The location of Nizhny Novgorod by population in the country.
Alexey: was the third city, became the fifth
For a long time it was the fifth.
Konstantin: Not a year.
The USSR was always third.
In the USSR everything was in its place. If he were the second, the people would be shot to the third.

XXX: The same feeling when at 2 a.m. you knock with your friends, and the police humbly scratch under your door, inviting to be understood by the neighbors. And here you are no longer the queen of the party at the beginning of the week, but the only, dear, respected and most conscious of all the entrance. The MDA.

Those who did not go to bed on time ate dinner for the second time. The fucking. ( by

Today I learned what a real horror is.
I wake up tonight by knocking on the balcony glass. I open my eyes, it’s dark, it’s night, but you can see someone standing behind the balcony door. Grey hair has increased.
It turned out to be the next - on the balcony hanging, I hanged the shirt there in the evening to dry. In the night, the frosts hit and the shirt hardened and knocked.

The neighbor is a wheelchair driver. He drives the car on manual control, parks it in the usual place, because he can not get to a place specifically for disabled people in a wheelchair. This is probably all you need to know about the state’s social policy.

Have you been to Crimea?

It was a long time ago, but I don’t remember anything. It was small.

How small is it?

I went there with my dad, and from there with my mom.

XXX: I noticed a strange thing. In Izhevsk, all the good artists perform in the ice palace, and the bad in the circus. The coincidence?

Great for prevention! Separate room, peace, pleasant procedures, feeding delicious.
I went to the hospital for an operation a month ago. Same thing, but it hurts a lot :(

I bought a white swimsuit.
She is not white, but beautiful.

Review of the film "The Martian".
With them after Interstellar to remove the costumes could not, here had to make another film
In fact, the events of the film Martian, cut out of Interstellar

The inner world of a woman is hidden by clothes.