bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118172
 07.09.2015
“My socks lie all together, all of the same color. I feel like they have a leader.
And how to define it?
This is the oldest socks, it has the largest hole.

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №118171
 07.09.2015
XXX: Interesting instructions on the alternative use of sweaters:
1st Take a sweater.
2nd Put your feet in the sleeves.
Three Bind the rope to the waist so that it does not fall.
4 is The Profit!
XH: I never understood what the profit is?
You can do it without removing the sweater. and :-)
XH: I’m still crazy not taking off the sweater.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118170
 07.09.2015
Interesting fact: Sir Niels Ulaf is a talisman of the Norwegian Royal Guard. He holds the title of Colonel, in 2008 he was ordained a Knight. What is so interesting in it? Sir Niels Ulaf is a royal penguin. Never be desperate. If even a penguin can this, imagine what you can.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118169
 07.09.2015
(s)-Wife's Birthday.stopped with the standard set.well there is champagne.flower.sweets.oil for the engine.air filter.palaces.Decided not to be greedy and add a radio-controlled helicopter and spin.for a loved one don't regret, let's be happy.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118168
 07.09.2015
When the fried grains have cooled, they are so scented steel. Just surprising. I would never believe. So if you’re also on the weight loss spot, don’t throw out green coffee beans.

The coffee beans are green from nature. And roasting grains is a compulsory technological process.
I will surprise you again. Grapefruit is initially also green and requires roasting before cooking.
Hello from the USSR.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118167
 07.09.2015
In the US hospital entered a grandmother with diarrhea. The diarrhea began after she drank "popular remedy for constipation". My grandmother is Russian-speaking, but very English-speaking. When the doctor tried to find out from the grandmother what the remedy - the grandmother honestly admitted that she had forgotten...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118166
 07.09.2015
Well, let’s now discuss the meaningless whistling of the fatigued debtor on the topic of “I was borrowed by everybody, shot them all.”
In principle, I do not object to his funny ideas. With one addition: first a referendum is held on the introduction of such a remarkable legislation (prison term for each case of violation of the dress code, for divorce, for dismissal from work to the state office, for illness, for shooting for a serious illness, and what else he has there). The total number of debtors is calculated. It is allocated to them to arrange a territory proportionate to their number. The territory is surrounded by a coffin, those born there can leave, those who choose voluntarily - not. Those who wish can provide humanitarian aid there, but be careful not to jump out.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118165
 07.09.2015
Remove every nail from work, you are the master here, not the guest!
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
Yes, it’s not good to steal. (

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118164
 07.09.2015
I have not forgotten your shoes.
YYY: I have forgotten. They stand in the corridor.
XXX: Thank goodness to God. Last year, I lost Calvin’s... the scream was...

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №118163
 07.09.2015
My grandfather, who lived near the river Chusova (Ural), told me how he caught somebody on a beetle.
He gathered the strawberries in the onion, then threw the berries into the water. Som thought it had fallen, swam and swallowed the berry... and the berry was very sour and som, from the scum, clogged his eyes and remained on the surface in immobility. After that, the grandfather grabbed the soma for the buttocks and with no resistance pulled it out to the shore.
This is the story of Somers.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118162
 07.09.2015
The mayor of the capital and his ubiquitous relatives proposed to rename the station "Kyivskaya" to the station "Kazanskaya". So to say, use the present moment.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №118161
 07.09.2015
We went for a walk with the girls... In the morning, my husband brought me a pill from my head, went to the store for beer, cooked soup and didn’t say a word against it. When I woke up in the evening, I sat next to him and said in a calm tone:
- This is how you should behave when a loved one has a whimper, and not shrink all day "Alkashin, eat, hide and suffer..."

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №118160
 07.09.2015
Dialogue in the dining room:
What to you?
Pure and pork.
Drying the onion?
Is it free?
Can you eat pork?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118159
 07.09.2015
The signature under a foolish series of photographs in which a man feeds his wife with watermelon, and whose stomach grows as they eat. And when the oatmeal is eaten and the stomach is swollen, suddenly - BACH(!) Photo of the child.
Just lucky that the man does not know about shit and yeast!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118158
 07.09.2015
xxx: I downloaded the app Yandex.transport here and I sit and watch the buses ride)
YYY: is it interesting?
xxx: thy
xxx: thirty
XXX: There are so many.
YYY: Is it for you now instead of cinema?
Instead of the carpet

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118157
 07.09.2015
Hello "I hope you ate" - this is not the Thai language, it is the dialect of our grandmother(((

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118156
 07.09.2015
In the summer I rested at one of the resorts of Crimea, now I know where girls and women go to rest, who have not had time to lose weight by summer!

[ + 18 - ] [5 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118155
 07.09.2015
Interesting fact: 10 kg of chocolate - a deadly dose for a person.If it happens in life, you will have to choose how to die. I want to die like that. What a sweet death.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118154
 07.09.2015
Discussions about the collapse of TransAero, 23 p.

brock: I propose to issue a hat to the expert SENATOR, who made the correct diagnosis of the company for the guilt in the business class, in my opinion, for 2 pages.
Nakh-nah: It is still possible once a month or two to drive a Senator in the business of different companies with a report on the forum, so that pilots / technicians know when it is time to roll)
HeliCap: Take me to this job, Senator and so all chocolate

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118153
 07.09.2015
The word "hunger" is in the Thai language. It’s written หี, it’s read approximately like a hiu, a rising tone.

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