bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №128178
 17.05.2016
A dream: our accountant calls me and says that I stumbled on my student photos, and here, say, how slim I was - not what I am now. And he announces me an order from the leadership: to lose weight. So I get a salary increase for the purchase of laxative and toilet paper. He dreams...

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128177
 17.05.2016
This is:

"They say, sometimes at night our scammers at power do not sleep,"

— — —
Who told you that nonsense? They sleep, as they sleep!

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №128176
 17.05.2016
In the background, the blonde says that during the war, the young Katya Furceva extinguished the FUGAS bombs that fell on the city. What shit there are burning horses in the cages...

<><><>>
The blonde was wrong. They extinguished the ignition bombs until they were destroyed with the expiry of flammable material – a simple job with minimal training. And the fugas, of course, exploded when they fell.

P.S Not everything that is above is from God.
And the people "fixtures" were extinguished.
As a small front.
My sand and my hole bowl.
highly

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №128175
 17.05.2016
Yesterday, the online bookstore sent discounts on women's books. I go through the link and read the names: 1. The charming 2nd. The magic of Japanese cleaning

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №128174
 17.05.2016
[16.05, 13:18] Katie: I signed an application for vacation
[16.05, 13:19] Lovichek: Dobby gave socks for a while

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №128173
 16.05.2016
I was 12. I sit at home, look at the telephone and there is a bell at the door - my friend stands and says, "Well you are long?" And suddenly I remembered that 40 minutes ago I went in to drink water and he was waiting in the entrance.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №128172
 16.05.2016
Basil by the way. Peter at V.O. There is a house that consists of 3/4 of memorial boards.
I remember only that there lived Euler, Ostrogradsky, Pavlov and half a hundred other lighthouses.
Probably, this increases the cost of a square meter, but when we went to look at the academician Pavlov's apartment-museum, we found out that the stairs were rolling tobacco.

And then you can see the downtown bead. Vasa, fucking, not cigarettes, but artifacts! The glass was broken by Euler himself. How to insert a glass when it is broken by Euler? Because of the giftless restoration we have lost millions of artifacts and works of art.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128171
 16.05.2016
Nubilius: Brief description of the new Doom: In this game, the gasoline is running out of the gasoline. Groovy
Sharp_ey: It is sad.
Nubilius: It is realism!
Sharp_ey: We have brought all kinds of realism into our Word and are delighted.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №128170
 16.05.2016
You can bring as many arguments as you want in favor of washing the roads in the rain, but the frame of a column of watershed washing the road under the rain is present in almost every Soviet comedy.
And it is really funny.

[ + 43 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128169
 16.05.2016
I remembered the story from school too. Oh, it was a long time ago, and until now the blood in the veins is boiling, as I remember. I went the exam, I knew the subject perfectly, I went in the first three of the passers, the first pulled out the ticket and immediately, without preparation, sat down to answer.

An oral question answered, the task was solved in front of the eyes, additional questions were taken and... was sent out. With the scream and oath of my “loved” teacher who accused me of blasting my tickets.

I offered to get another ticket, but she literally pushed me out of the office. Sitting until the last, I went in again.

I decided to do differently and took a ticket, typically prepared. Eventually, when he told it all again and showed it, he was accused of copying. I was given a “three”.

He can’t know more, that’s the verdict.

This phrase hit me so hard, a kind of barrel that it has placed on me and above which it doesn’t allow me to “hop.” Because of my age and character, I swallowed off. But the phrase often persecuted me, especially in difficult times - "he is not able to do more" it sounded in my head. And I tried to do everything to be able! To prove to this abstract laughing aunt that I can. And everybody wanted to see her, to say - vooot, I have a firm, vooot, bought a car, vooot, the world saw, and what are you?



And she turns out to have been like a car crashed to death for nine years and she was fooled.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №128168
 16.05.2016
and breast feeding,
Come together and go to your ovulation forums!
You don’t need to be here with your dogs.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №128167
 16.05.2016
XX: Remember you gave me a book about probability?
YYYY: Well
XX: I began to see the world differently after her. I walked under a whispering iron yesterday and was first afraid that it would hit. Then I thought, fifty for fifty that fall, fifty for fifty that fall into me, fifty for fifty that kill. In the end, I estimated that the probability of killing only 12,5% and somehow even easier became :)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №128166
 16.05.2016
townsman

Nine cockroaches proudly walk through the chicken, and an unfortunate and completely crazy chicken runs into the corner.

Nine cats "they are proud of". The cockroaches are Duncan Maclauda, only one will survive! Even two cockroaches organize such battles, and of the nine most would at all roll without movement, and some would still try to gladiate. Everything would be in the bloodshed.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №128165
 16.05.2016
Discussing the information of the song, in particular, the transmission of materials to the sound director.

XXX is! Throw into the sofas and drums please.
XXX: In Lithuania

Yyy: You broke my brain to the whales in my first phrase
Don’t do that on Monday morning.

XXX: I’ve even moved the strawberries on the drums. not thank

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №128164
 16.05.2016
20336 Student Design
I want to stamp my pictures cheaper and sell more expensive, and they don’t want to run their expensive equipment for my copy order. But I hope to find those fools who will do me cheap and quality, and I will scratch the money with a scratch. No matter what is beneficial to anyone but me, I am a designer, not an economist.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №128163
 16.05.2016
The ideological follower of Prishvin describes the weekends spent in the village:
At night, May bugs bombed the roof, imitating the town. The chickens who remained alive rejoiced and flooded like salmon on a roast.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128162
 16.05.2016
Sad but fact

I am breastfeeding for 5 months.
Yes is. I did not understand.
Where is my 7th breast size?? to

If you don’t have a 7th breast size, someone has two.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №128161
 16.05.2016
...
"END AAAAAA... yk" - Celine Dion grabbed the throat and sucked )
A friend has a good habit of picking up the phone quickly ;)

Houston, we have a problem – your song, Celine Dion sings on someone’s phone!
“I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №128160
 16.05.2016
I came to work on Monday and found another wet bag of tea in the cup. Earlier in the day, I remembered that I had been fucking both weekends.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №128159
 16.05.2016
A small child:

I want a tampon for my birthday.

Mother :

Do you know what it is?

MR is:

“No, but on television they say that if you have a tampon, then you can go to the beach every day, ride a bike, run, and generally do whatever you like, and nobody will notice anything.

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