bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №115472
 30.06.2015
XXX: Are you a cow or a cowboy?
YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №115471
 30.06.2015
I watched the Poltergeist movie yesterday. The most terrifying moment in the whole film was when they twisted an anchor and a gypsum wall and tied a rope to it.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115470
 30.06.2015
Whoever tells a girl that she’s not fat and “you, love, pizza” is fucking.

[ + 14 - ] Comment quote №115469
 30.06.2015
The Feuerwehr
___________________
The Lie:

This is the same thing....
See also":

What about FIG? I have the right to give. I do not have them.
For the first time in my life, I sat in the back seat.
– – – – –

It contributed to the fact that when in the taxi, in which I was driving with a friend, a drunkard flew from behind at full speed, I only had a rubble stroke, and the untouched friend - the nose in the folds, five front teeth flew out and the scrotum broke. The head of the front seat, ah.

This is the same thing....

When hit by the back, passengers are thrown back. The headset is designed to protect against the fracture of the cervical vertebrae during such a blow.
In other words, it is impossible to break the face of the objects in front when hit from behind, because the physics, bleat!

I support the benefit of sticking, lying – no.
_______________________________________________________
When you hit from behind you will be given acceleration and you will fuck about the surface lying in front of you. The headset protects against the reversal of the impact from the front. And there are also side components and there is even more interesting, the accident process is not linear and lasting, physics, jade, to teach in school had to be.
In short, in the source, everything is right, and whoever objects, is the wanderer.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115468
 30.06.2015
Now bro, you have to be careful. The comfort in the kitchen you put, there now a man-woman can self-educate. There are such observations.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115467
 30.06.2015
I bought a metal drill, and I know that I will drill 4 holes and the rest of the time the drill will be in the toolbox until I lose and I will have to buy a new drill. The conspiracy of metalworkers.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №115466
 30.06.2015
After a 10-year break, she went as a teacher to a countryside children's camp, having in her brain the perfect picture of 10 years ago, how children are perfectly listening to the chiefs, missing the phones and generally white and furry. In three days, I call my friend.
Take me away from here! Yes, I’d rather be a miner in the mine, and I’d do three shifts in a row!! to

The infection, the infection.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115465
 30.06.2015
from the rabbit.

On Olya and Yura sprang another homeless cat. In the extreme case, they decided to keep it for themselves, but Olya posted a post about finding owners. Typical answers: What a beautiful woman! Where do I get one more?
Kijayev summed it all up with a concise comment: "Mi-mi-mi! But no – no!"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115464
 30.06.2015
You two are the perfect couple. The perfect two halves.
Half of what?
Tagged with: ass

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115463
 30.06.2015
Tolstoy said:
I love the Borsch.
Stereotypes again! This society has inspired you that you love borsches! In fact, in ancient times, borscht was used for washing, and then someone shared invented it to eat! There's a saying 'shy - even if the fucking hole's
No, I really like borsches.
Zzz: Yes, yyy just doesn’t know how to cook borst, so it’s angry.
TTT: yyy, how you could! Borscht and shift are very different dishes! You probably have never eaten the real beetle. Here we are in Cuba.
You are all stupid and don’t get treated! I am sorry for you...
Www: but I don't like soups at all, neither borscht nor shi
TTT is BORST! This is! Not the soup! Borch is Borch! You have never really eaten a bowl! We are in Cuba.
Xxx: I went to the toilet. Fuck, what are you talking about?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115462
 30.06.2015
From the Childfrey Group in VK.
Near the entrance to the store where I work, there is a advertising shield: a red cat, very cool and naturally made. Periodically it is carried away by running spindles, larvae owners and simply careless citizens. Here today, after hearing the loud “boom!” I went to the exit to fix the unfortunate Rushik. She went out and saw a wonderful picture: right in front of the cat, pulling out the eyes, stood a 40-year-old alkas. A typical blister, hell bite and scented for a kilometer is by no means Dior. When he saw me, he asked me if I could see a giant red cat. Having created a very surprised face growth, I seriously replied to my uncle that there is no cat here, and in general, metro cats are a sign of schizophrenia!) Hanurick bitterly breathed, whispered something about him being chosen, since according to the "white" he is not the devils coming to him, but the cats, and went in an unknown direction, looking around and baptizing)) He made my day!and :)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115461
 30.06.2015
My husband seemed to have gone beyond everyone. He doesn’t even try to remember his younger’s birthday – he always looks at the date in his passport. I’m psychic because of this, I’m upset that you can forget such a significant day, and he’s quite frankly saying that 28 is a very difficult number, it’s hard to remember, and he can only remember birthdays before 15. Smile6: How did he learn, interesting? Dear Pavel Vasilyevich, I was unable to solve this task because the answer is more than fifteen, and this is a very difficult number for me, I do not operate such things.

And this despite the fact that the youngest son I gave birth on the birthday of my mother-in-law for general convenience. The oldest is on the birthday of the mother-in-law. Crazy: It does not help.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115460
 29.06.2015
Here is this:

This is the same thing....

When hit by the back, passengers are thrown back. The headset is designed to protect against the fracture of the cervical vertebrae during such a blow.
In other words, it is impossible to break the face of the objects in front when hit from behind, because the physics, bleat!

I support the benefit of sticking, lying – no.

I don't remember physics very well, I remember the bitter experience of getting in an accident. Being in the Nissn Micra (those who don't know, it's such a small cane with wheels) and a girl behind the wheel got a funny (luckily) accident. Making a left turn in the dark, this lady did not turn on the turn and stopped not, such as a brake, such as a smooth turn...in general, on our footsteps, the self-driving driver after us had the time to slow so much that we were just...like a beak. Why did we jump a few meters ahead? So here, my dear physics experts, having got a 3.14-step headband on the headband, I almost bite into a mess. Morality - I was stuck and therefore avoided something obviously unpleasant, such as a fracture of the nose. Energy is such an energy, it is somehow transmitted :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115459
 29.06.2015
I would never swim through our rivers alone and without a gun.
A group can be without a gun.
YYY: And you can swim with a group of guns up the stream and hunt those who sail towards you alone and without guns.
Zzzz: yyy, and why swim up? Wait for point C.
ZZZ: In the seat.
Zzz: And let the river bring the prey
YYY: So who will catch it first?
zzz: Those who did before - may think the same, and also swim in front of you.
Zzz: And so you move or not, the difference is zero.
Zen is banditism.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115458
 29.06.2015
The provider to this client:

Village Lower Mochilovo, 10.07.2015, 18:00, I will be standing near the store sober and in clean pieces. The book will not be with you: sober and clean near the farm is an unbeatable difference, you will not be mistaken.

<><><>>
In the village of Lower Mochilevo Internet is only in you.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115457
 29.06.2015
Yesterday my parents arrived from the Czech Republic from Karlovy Vary.
Mom: I bought you a delicious beer, but I drank on the way to the airport.
I: I feel like a donkey, sober and sad.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №115456
 29.06.2015
Tushed with the girls at the restaurant. And there we have live music, a drummer and everything. And here, probably, on the alcoholic pair (otherwise you will not explain, because he is white) I pulled on him... And what is essential, he replied to me... After the closure of the restaurant carried him to himself, in the taxi the wave of passion burned up, until it sparkled, almost on the first floor (and I was on the sixth, for a minute) the clothes flew crackling. I reached the door, I entered the castle with the key, and in no way, and the key is not pulled out, crazy... And suddenly the door opened up...On the threshold of the son-in-law (2 meters, Ilya Muromets, in a beard and with a stinking look): - Mama? The Mi-Sha? (I forgot that I live with my son - I was drunk.) - Who are you? and I? Yes, it was... (the man was swallowed by the wind), the man wanted one water (at two o’clock at night, what? It is an image-nothing, and thirst is everything! ... - Ah... - Yes, I, it is... - Ah... - Sonule, well, let it go, such a difficult day, Ike, day... Morning... We work together, we gather together, I turn around the kitchen, we gather to eat, bath, head-dryer and coffee. - Mom, sit down. Misha, we are at work. Taxi now... we’re late... – Mom, we need to talk... I’m still turning... – Mom, sit down, please. I sat on the edge of the chair. And then my son tells me, “Mom, someone in our family is drinking. And it is not me! Do not roast! I am worried! The curtain! and c)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115455
 29.06.2015
I’m on a bus, passing by a dirty trolleybus with some advertising on board. Half-sleeping consciousness reads:"The Witnesses 1c". I understand that a new and expensive sect though.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115454
 29.06.2015
The day before, as you probably heard, our church, in the person of the brilliant spokesman of the patriarch, announced: “Thank God, there will be a war soon!” The Church declared that suffering would benefit the people. I think they were angry. Much money is bad for the brain. They believe they have the right to speak and decide for the people. They believe they have the right to decide on your behalf. They believe they have the right to make you gun meat. I don’t think they have that right. No one gave them that right. And I pray that the night in their heads will be changed to dawn.
c) BG

The BG has already brought out these hates that have grown into a bullshit, and speaking "Russia is us".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115453
 29.06.2015
The site was still considered humorous, but the fan was no longer stopped. There were still some separate jokes coming out from underneath, but the entire pages were covered with a flat layer of mental stools on eternal topics.

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