bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114612
 10.06.2015
What about Gagarin? Only the next stage after the dogs.
and *******
You are not suitable for these mental qualities. After the Soviet dog you have nothing to do at all.

List of Gagarin:
Luberc School No. 10 - with distinction
Saratov Industrial Technical College - with distinction
1st Military Aviation School of Pilots named after K.E. Voroshilov
Individual qualities, priority when selecting for astronauts - look at Wikipedia.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114611
 10.06.2015
here here :
I guessed the desire that the PDD would be allowed to shoot down cyclists going through a pedestrian crossing without descending from the great ones.
— — —
Immediately after the law allowed to shoot on drivers who do not pass pedestrians on these same crossings.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114610
 10.06.2015
She gave her mother a cat from her cat Brunhild. And almost all of our cats received names mostly serial, such as Soyera or Daniel. Well, it was necessary to penetrate here, they called Penelope, in honor of Penelope Garcia of the crime of the Mainz. Mom lovingly called her Penny, well, in general, the cat got used to it, of course.
And a year later it turned out to be a very even cat, not a cat.
My mom didn’t get rid of it and changed the cat’s name to Penis. The cat is not offended.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114609
 10.06.2015
The key word is Grandma. It was always better before, it was more fun before, regardless of the facts.
Fuck, this is not my grandmother's thing, but in geography.In Primorye, they fed the bats, because there was her dog.And in the south of the Krasnoyarsk region, neither the sea nor the fish.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114608
 10.06.2015
here here :

>>Gorbush, tons, thieves are thrown out and it is rotten, only caviar is taken. It turns out in shops waste is sold for angry money.

The fish of the family of salmon after rearing die (except samba and forel). This is a genetic program. Already during life begins the process of decomposition, the fish "flower": the skin acquires a multi-colored color. After entering fresh water, the gorbush becomes brown-white-green. Strongly lengthened and bending jaw, the flat hole increases. In fish, the immune system is turned off and a bouquet of diseases appears.
When the gorbush goes along the rivers after the river, the water can not be drunk, from it comes a terrible smell. These salmon after breeding lose almost all of their valuable nutritional properties, respectively, and taste. Such a fish can safely be called half-dead, it is whispered by many animals, but not people who want to sell it.
Salmon during the breeding period has time to catch and freeze before death. These products are sold both in fresh and frozen form. It is completely legal and legal, in the price lists it goes as "fish with non-stocks". The official price of such fish is about 20-30 rubles per kg. Unfair sellers consciously buy cheap products, and then pair it up to us at the price of good quality fish.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №114607
 10.06.2015
What are you doing?
I watch Kung Fury in Translation
Oh, I don’t know what it is.
My taste is very specific. You will not understand.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114606
 10.06.2015
A mirror was hung next to the refrigerator. I don’t know what they meant, but the people were eating significantly less.

[ + 21 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114605
 09.06.2015
Video from the picnic:

Oh God... Remove, my, I’m upset with plyizz It’s terrible

A: And I showed a friend. she said that the boy's voice was beautiful who sang.

The boy is :-(

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114604
 09.06.2015
Once I came to buy food for cats in the animal store, and there is an action - a package of food for free, and they are asked to fill out the questionnaire. I am not sorry.
How many cats and their names do you have?
and three. Remus, Scorpio and Lawrence
Originally as...
Already after leaving the store, I realized that they probably listened to Vasek and Murok at the very least could not. And also, that I forgot to mention the neighbor's cat in the apartment - a striking, instead of an eagle issuing natural sounds from hell and a terrible, like a nuclear winter, sphincter named Anubis.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114603
 09.06.2015
Admin, if you twisted the chat-bas would be a CITATOR again.)))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №114602
 09.06.2015
Today I saw on one saiĕte vacancy "younger̆ specialist in movement", and in the clamps the loader)))

[ + 29 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114601
 09.06.2015
And for those who use decreasing-loving suffixes in talk about children in Adika there is a separate boiler with melted sandals in a mixture with cockroaches.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №114600
 09.06.2015
Styles Jesse came:
Why not 1C?! to
Telepatics on vacation
Let them have you on vacation all the time!
They know when to go in.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114599
 09.06.2015
In Switzerland, the official agricultural website agroscope on May 28, 2015 published the news:

Because of the excessive purity of milk, there are fewer holes in traditional cheese varieties. Holes in cheese appear due to dioxides of propionate and lactic acid bacteria. In the last 15 years, milk has become much cleaner through the introduction of technology, improved content and feed quality. The scientists of the agroscope have examined and studied this problem in detail!

Woooot! These are problems we need to study! Where do the holes in the cheese come from and where do they go? It is interesting! And not new missiles, bombs and tanks.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №114598
 09.06.2015
It is easier to say what is not produced: laptops and a little light industry. Everything else is produced.

I threw what I have in the presence of Russian production: windows, refrigerator, car. All foreign brands. In fact, this is a complete list.
Where is? Where is all that is made in Russia?

As Zhvanetsky said from the scene: "You walk through the exhibition pavilions and think, "Can all this be bought?"

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114597
 09.06.2015
About the names of pets: in the autumn in the corridor at the entrance door found a butterfly. Probably there was no more room to overwinter. He signed the animal to himself. Every morning started with the search for an insect because it was a pity to crush. The creature was fed with peach juice and diluted strawberries with water straight from the hand. One day a courier arrived. We stand in the door and check the goods, and then my beast rolls out of the room and flies straight to the open entrance door. I command without a shadow of fear and astonishment: "Grisha, come to me!". The butterfly turns and sits on my shoulder. Of course, this is reading coincidence, but the courier’s face had to be seen)))) And, yes, the butterfly in the first evening I called Grisha!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114596
 09.06.2015
We brought somewhere to the clinic a cat with five or four kittens, I don’t remember exactly. They had to have an accompanying document for departure. There are all cats and one cat. We say, dictate the names. Well, the master and begins something like Evelyn, Adelaide, Juliet, Carmelite and Gorshok.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114595
 09.06.2015
How difficult it is to resist and not write in the letter "This is your sword!", sending materials to Pavel Volobayev.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114594
 09.06.2015
Intended to. The patient came in. I’ve done it all and I’m saying, ‘I.O., you can wipe, dress and walk into the chamber.’ Patient: "S.S., after such a procedure can be 'ty' "

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114593
 09.06.2015
So how do you put those stuff under the photo?

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna