bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114512
 08.06.2015
Oh my cat! He was in his childhood, because his milk and toothless good people threw him out, and he often cried, even lying on the warm neck of his husband. And when he grew up, this furious and enormous beast became Ball.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №114511
 08.06.2015
A reliably fixed patient does not need anesthesia.
......
In general, the surgeon needs anesthesia no less than the patient.
1st Operated under anesthesia low pulse - low blood loss
2nd There are no muscle spasms from pain, which allows you to calmly and accurately cut
Three The patient does not whisper and does not act on the nerves.
4 is Pain shock significantly reduces the chances of survival

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №114510
 08.06.2015
Grandpa loved the motto. and fishing. Riding a motorbike for fishing.
Even when I was a barely walking shit, I loved moths more than cars. Every time I saw a car parked in the Mikasha I ran to it with the voice of “What an incredible miracle, born of the genius of engineering mylley and creative insight of design and ergonomics!” What a divine gift to possess to create a masterpiece of plastic and metal, giving the user the highest freedom - and his surroundings - aesthetic bliss! How many brilliant minds have worked to create this unparalleled technique and to rise to the heights of mechanical engineering, only to continue their ascension further, to the heights of perfection.
But in my wording at the time, it sounded like "Gooo!...CYCL! We are!"

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №114509
 07.06.2015
The Duma called the G7 a castrated organization. Do they not think there at all? If the G7 without Russia is castrated, then Russia is what?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114508
 07.06.2015
Just a genius.
The genius inventor:

If I had made robots, I would have made them based on nano devices that have a mechanism of self-recovery, mechanisms of alien destruction macro micro nano. And also these robots could consume the materials for work that are easily available on the planet. And every night of the robot would contain information about the entire robot. This way of protecting data...
_________________________________________

You have just described the device of an ordinary living person.
– – – – –
As if that was a joke of humor.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114507
 07.06.2015
They are right, because they are not. And so already 3 abortions in a ten-class girl - it's consider, children's jokes according to current standards. And they will also be taught this to continue to encourage this shit.

– – – – –

Do you not think that such consequences may be due to a lack of education in terms of contraception and sex safety?

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114506
 07.06.2015
Here is the story of my mom. She once worked with a self-confident lady, the wife of a military. If one of the employees shared at work some not very pleasant situations with children, the lady immediately stated that you are just educating them incorrectly, and always took the example of herself, perfectly raising her only son. No one argued with her, the son was really good, kind, calm and very kind. We studied in the same school. And everything would go on, but this lady gave birth to a second son, who placed a fat cross on her pedagogical armor. Once in the summer in the heat comes this pedagogical talent to work late and all in soap. The second boy was already in kindergarten. And one morning, the younger said that he would go to the kindergarten today only in his daddy's circle boots. The mother initially tried to press him with words, then eagerly, then shake, then cracked, it was only left to kill - the son stood on his death. And since it was not possible to leave him at home with anyone, but one, so they turned into a 30-degree heat, a mommy, all in troubled feelings, and a baby in Panama and chickens in the mouth. In the garden, they are still remembered. And then she stopped with her lessons. Maybe smarter...

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №114505
 07.06.2015
And so already 3 abortions in a ten-class girl - it's consider, children's jokes according to current standards.
____________________

3 abortions in a ten-grade girl - just the problem of stupid parents (well, such as you) and complete sexual illiteracy.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №114504
 07.06.2015
I give you a star, where the serenade of the full man "Dear, I will take you to the very end of the universe, I will give you this star! In all epochs, and in the future too, it goes on against the background of the sound of the diligent fasting of this beloved on the dirty boiler, and suddenly I realize that the chain is broken - all the young families I know, starting an independent life, along with the refrigerator, laundry machine and other must buy a dishwasher.
The great power of art.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114503
 07.06.2015
My friend's cat is named Fanny, and her full name is Fanera!=)


The dog - ma-alanyka, stra-a-shennaya, yellow-red some - is called in the people Honey.
Everyone understands - honey, such as sweet-honey-honey.

Oh - but initially, when she was found at the age of a puppy on a laundry, she was named Xina, because it is quite unclear what this dirty small slaughterhouse looked like.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №114502
 07.06.2015
I know how to marine. I ate this dog.

[ + 38 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114501
 07.06.2015
My wife doesn’t look after her birth.
And I do not monitor my husband, after 30 he began to bald and does nothing about it!
I'll give him another six months, and if he doesn't recover, I'll have to look for another, I can't sleep with baldness, it doesn't excite me!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114500
 07.06.2015
The Cat Names:
in the student community a red cat - Yellow;
Yellow-white neighboring black cat
black furry mommy cat Mrakis, subsequently still Murzik;
My black-and-white Isato Kaiza, in honour of the animated street fighter who turned into the Usato Kaiser;
Murly, called Durlysey for the habit of climbing under her feet.


[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114499
 07.06.2015
to this
= is
According to the law, during an eight-hour working day, the temperature of the air in the office room should be 23-25 ° C in the warm season and 22-24 ° C in the cold (at relative humidity of 40-60%). A deviation from the norm is allowed only at 1-2 ° C. The permissible fluctuation of temperature during the working day is no more than 3-4 ° C. In total, if the temperature (23-2-4=17, 25+2+4=31) is between 17 and 31 degrees - you steep your tongue in your ass and squeeze.
=========
2 for mathematics and 2 for logic.
23-2=21 and 25+2=27 27-23=4 is a fluctuation of 4 degrees.
So I want to include this and ask"yes how you live...without brains"

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №114498
 07.06.2015
The Finger! Oh, at 50 women we are distinguished by envious health and beauty. And here are those, the Baguard, the grandmothers and the 60 beautiful women. So, tell me, what did you do to keep your wife beautiful? Purchased in a fitness center? No is? Is it expensive? Did you provide her with a standard of living that allows her to work half-time so that she can have time for herself? I bought her a car so that she didn't pull her bags and carried the children on the bicycles? Has your home been equipped with high-end household equipment? twice a year sent to a good sanatorium for a full tour of 21 days? And yet again "no" And now look at yourself at 50 years: puffiness, baldness, erectile dysfunction, radiculitis, obliterating endarteritis...and in all your disgrace is also the fault of the wife, because she is cheated "and you have more on her "not worth"...and the thinking of a 20-year-old baby, to whom the breasts are more important than a living soul...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №114497
 07.06.2015
Nobody hides anything especially. Just because “why do you pretend to hide something, if to explain how things really are, any wise person will need at least six paragraphs. And six paragraphs no one in the modern world will read without forgetting the beginning and switching to something else. No need to hide. It is not enough to go into detail".

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №114496
 07.06.2015
Moving on a horse with a wind - ancient Russian air conditioner))

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №114495
 07.06.2015
I went to the car shop. Immediately three men set up behind me, and they are about to start biking. I am quick:
Air filter 138, oil 110, oil 4-40 and washing!
The seller gave me the package and I turned around. Two men in a stupor, the third opened the door with a tribute to me. It is nice, ch. I studied this all morning on the notebook!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №114494
 07.06.2015
I was advised, by the way, with the cat - so he also cuddles...
..................

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №114493
 07.06.2015
Our Tanya cries loudly, dropped the Windows patch.
Don’t cry, it’s a virus, not a patch.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna