bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113512
 17.05.2015
XX: I am a realist. My dreams are more or less realistic. And that’s why I don’t even get them :(

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №113511
 17.05.2015
You, “dear” lovers, bubble the walls at any time of day and night. Do not hesitate, my electric guitar will easily beat your perforators with a guarantee. Because I am not even able to play...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113510
 17.05.2015
Ukrainian Internet users have decided to announce a two-day boycott of Facebook. In order to attract as many people as possible to the boycott, the organizers of the action created a special page in the social network.

and ;)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113509
 17.05.2015
This is:
200 r per hour. A total of 20 days, 8 hours a day - 160 pieces per month.
Is it bad?
and----
200×20×8 = 32 000
160 is. In the mes. not badly. It is bad not to know how to count.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113508
 17.05.2015
xx: Today I swept into the neighboring piszuar with Potashev.
Yy: Did he need an extra minute?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113507
 17.05.2015
We are extremely concerned - you have not visited our resource for 570 days

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113506
 17.05.2015
Here’s how to communicate with a person who thinks the word decibel is jargon and almost native :)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113505
 17.05.2015
xxx: Today accidentally clicked on the link on "Our Radio", and there played the composition: "Gummy grandfather - Contured Yulia"
Now I remember why I stopped listening to the radio.
XHH: Although I am still interested in the question: what is the name of the group, and what is the composition?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113504
 17.05.2015
The number of visitors to the gyms and swimming pools has increased dramatically. Why is? Hot water was turned off in the city.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №113503
 17.05.2015
Among fools there are no fake ones, they are all real.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №113502
 17.05.2015
There is a place in every person’s life.

There lived an ordinary man in the south of Russia. He led a way of life, softly speaking, not the most law-obedient. Industrialized small thefts and sat down several times for a short period of time. Drinking and fighting with neighbors. He was far from the most pleasant person. But his feat awaited him and waited.

One autumn day, he woke up with a hammer and without a penny. In search of the mine, he headed to the local railway station. At the station near the exit from the suburban platforms, he saw a fairly upscale suitcase, which was obviously left unattended by a solid man who stood 5 meters from the box office. Not thinking for a long time, he took his suitcase by hand and went out in a hurry. After a few hundred meters, he turned to the local desert to see what prey the Lord sent him. But I did not have time to do it. A powerful explosion broke out and in a fraction of a second only memories remained from the man. He died instantly and without pain. There were no victims besides him, the place was deserted.

In the suitcase, which was left near the exit from the suburban platforms representatives of a small but proud republic, was laid a bomb with a clock mechanism, filled with nails. It must explode at the time of the arrival of two electric stations, always filled with people. But our hero was able to save dozens of lives, although he hardly sought to do so. Mint, who identified the dead hero from the video camera recording, buried him at his own expense. The suspects were found later.

Peace be to his dust, and forgive his transgressions, O Lord.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №113501
 17.05.2015
and Lena! In sixteen years, you will make a man truly happy when you sit naked in the kitchen, drink milk, pour half on yourself. And now, fuck, don’t get angry, Daddy! Open the roof!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №113500
 17.05.2015
XHH: her logic sometimes reminds me of a license agreement - neither figure is understandable, but it is better to agree

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113499
 17.05.2015
If an ordinary person has four wisdom teeth in his mouth, then Wassermann must have the jaw of truth.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №113498
 17.05.2015
Stan: With an artillery shot over the head nothing should be
The helmet and the guardian angel

Bjorn: We call this fucking helmet.
Bjorn: just like a rookie, both - a shop

Stan: I’m talking, I know it’s a helmet))

Bjorn: a cuckold - a drop or a drop hook

and Agah. And the guardian angel - a Ka-52 helicopter))

Bjorn: ah))))))

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №113497
 17.05.2015
A colleague, a very insulting lady, in addition to the favorite argument "I am right, and you will all shut up!", mastered a new one: "You insult my feelings as a believer!" (no one understood which side she was Orthodox, but did not ask).

In general, recently she learned from a completely atheist colleague about the existence in nature of the New Jerusalem monastery, and this very, very insulted the feelings of the believers, because it cannot be that the great Russian people imitate the Jews!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №113496
 17.05.2015
here...
The enormous mistake of a girl sitting at work among men, when she turns the phone into a loud communication mode in a conversation with a guy, so that it can be heard better, and he says to her in an attack of sexual arousal: "I would put you right now, in the least sense, as you love..."
and----
He’s probably fuck her ears, when she’s deaf.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №113495
 17.05.2015
I turned a cat bag (loving to sit in a cardboard box) into a fitch)) I calmly weigh it in it)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №113494
 17.05.2015
I was with my daughter (4 months) a pediatrician, in order to pick up a mixture, well and generally - when and what you can start feeding. The first thing my husband asked me this evening:
When will I be able to give it a wave?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №113493
 17.05.2015
Timurgen: Now to me why they sanctify the missiles. If a sacred rocket crashes, what will happen to it? is right! He goes to heaven, and where is heaven? In the heavens. The Profit.

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