bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111989
 12.04.2015
[ from the answers ]
xx: I still wanted to ask you, I started drinking Elevit, well on the 2nd and 3rd day of reception started to get sick from them?
yy: "2 and3day" - what is that mat?! to

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111988
 12.04.2015
Bad mood is a guarantee that no one will ruin your mood.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №111987
 12.04.2015
Parents’ Day at the Pioneer Camp.
A little girl in a pink dress asks:
Father, take me away from here.
Grandfather (in a fighting shirt, shorts and with numerous stickers):
A camp is a camp. The deadline must be completed in full.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111986
 12.04.2015
I already see the following project Mikhalkov: - network of travel agencies "Sit at home! " “Sleep with your wife!”

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №111985
 12.04.2015
Gagarine is Flying!
Really Flying

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111984
 12.04.2015
Immediately recall quotes, as someone scratched eggs with garlic, peppers or other hands.
So I immediately think that at home you are not only cooking without gloves, but also without pants.
There is something to try in the guests...

With spicy pepper is quite real and in normal sanitary conditions. The fact is that capsaicin (a substance that provides burning pepper) is very poorly dissolved in water, but perfectly - in fats. Therefore, it settles well on the hands (no one cancelled skin fat) and is badly washed with water when washing hands. T.o If you go to the toilet even an hour and a half after cooking (and regular hand washing, of course) and touch the sensitive skin with the hands on which capsaicin remains... But wiping your eyes with these hands is even worse.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №111983
 12.04.2015
"Response to"
How to start a relationship?
NN: Specify with whom. With a girlfriend, with a guy, with the tax police?
by: Yes
The NN:

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №111982
 12.04.2015
XXX: Can you reinstall my window?
Yyy: But you just bought a laptop, you have a new window.
You are stupid, do you not understand the hint?
YYY: You can’t reinstall the screw, and I’m stupid?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №111981
 12.04.2015
XXX: I had the most idiotic phone conversation of Eva right now:
and allo.
Is this Jeanine Vladimirovna?
You mistaken the number.
How it was wrong. not wrong.
Who do you need?
by Jeanne Vladimirovna.
There is no one here with that name.
As it is not, it has always been, and not now.
It never was.
No, but I’m calling by your number.
- Well let me check the number (he actually dictated my number, and he called me in my opinion already with the exact same result)
I keep silent, he continues, complaining:
Jean Vladimirovna...

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №111980
 12.04.2015
All these conversations about the culinary show "July" and more remind me of my wonderful grandmother. The women of our family were always wonderfully cooked and conservation in Soviet times went on the hurdle. At one event with a bunch of different guests, Babula pulled the cucumbers out of the bench and, Horrible! with her hands. One guest made her a comment: why not a fork. The grandmother replied that the hands are clean, and so faster and more comfortable. The guest didn’t get along and said that it was just ugly and someone might cheer to eat the cucumbers they got with their hands. My grandmother said, let these crazy people know that I also put the cucumbers in the bowl with my hands. So guys need to be a little more tolerant) through the kitchen I try not to drag anything, but the bones of lemon, for example, before adding to the paste, also get my hands. I often wash my hands in the kitchen.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №111979
 12.04.2015
In the original quote, the man expressed some concerns about the fact that a woman who cooked in a television show would be somehow linked to the catering network. But why you, dear friends, began to tell each other, who in the kitchen should where tomatoes to carry, you fuck knows, to be honest.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111978
 12.04.2015
from ZH
Daddy, Daddy, why don’t we paint eggs?
Because son, we celebrate the day of spaceflight, not a successful imitation of a suicide attempt.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №111977
 12.04.2015
MDA...

Uzbek people are strange. They just want to work, for example, we wait for the crane, we need to raise 40 15-meter boards on the roof, we folded them carefully on the bottom, climbed to the roof. No crane, I’ll tell you in an hour. Okay, full of other work, but no, prorab went to the city, left for the elderly one Jamsut, he ores to pick up in the hand! How many of his Russians (I and Serega) did not convince me that it was still necessary to pull the dome, tie the armor, etc. No, he’s stuck, I need to raise the boards. Ok to Ok. One person from the bottom breaks out our careful stack, carries it to the other end of the building and binds it, two people from the top lift the rope with the board. And so for an hour. As a result, on the thirteenth board came the crane, threw the remaining ten boards in a minute and left. The Uzbek people never understood why I was crying and laughing.

If you have appointed the prorab of the Uzbek senior, you are very foolish builders.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №111976
 11.04.2015
geektimes, comments to "How will programming be in 20-30 years?"

XXX: Well, it is more of a voice control. And I meant that it was possible to discuss with the compiler the algorithms for solving a task. And so that he can offer his optimizations, wishes, and so on.
YYY: Something I’m going to do is compile this code. No, I won’t, go on. First the tests and the bugs clean up.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №111975
 11.04.2015
When we meet, you work.
Why do we meet, you don’t work.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111974
 11.04.2015
I was asked today,
Carefully attached to the chest
a bouquet of flowers,
Drunk and bombarded.
Type of man: "Girl,
These narcissists are white.
Is it yellow? " And nothing would,
He narrated them to me.
In the midst of the white day, under
The first window opened
Floor of local department
Police and I thought.
The epicity of the situation.
Waiting for an answer, graceful.
He walked away.
on the horizon.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №111973
 11.04.2015
REN-TV has evidence of extraterrestrial invasion more convincing than Ukraine – evidence of Russian invasion

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №111972
 11.04.2015
Something I am sad, I bought yesterday, today opened and poured in a pot, bothered for a long time, but I never found meat, apparently it is some of your vegetarian pieces.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №111971
 11.04.2015
Yesterday, there was a fire in the building, the water was shut down.
Today a bunch of pipes broke and flooded two floors. The light was turned off in the building.
Wait for the earthquake and air shutdown tomorrow.
I wait for an alien invasion and shut off the cockroaches.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №111970
 11.04.2015
"Please be quiet without fines Idea for stimulating citizens
to install water meters with the help of fines failed"

In Ireland only in March of this year a water fee was introduced and in Dublin thousands of citizens went out to demonstrate against such bribes.
Zzz: In the end, the police dispersed the demonstrators with water bullets. At the same time, as noted by the representatives of the city of Dublin, each taper was equipped with a meter of water consumption.

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