A story on which a series can be filmed. A colleague says:

Yesterday, the brother brought the girl home, to introduce her to her relatives. Everything would be nothing, but I am very well acquainted with this particular one, I can say very close. I met her a couple of years ago at a club. We met, drank and went to the apartment. After that evening, we spent a long time with her, and it always turned into sex. Six months ago we met her again and she told me that she has been dating a guy for six months and yesterday they fought. I calmed her down and the matter eventually came back to sex. Then she and her boyfriend went well and we never met again. Yesterday was like this. And I only realized that she had a quarrel with my brother six months ago. I remember when he asked for advice on how to reconcile with a girl. What to do I do not know.

When I was a student and studied at Barnaul, I knew one very cute girl on the stream named Katya, with a cute-pretty face and a slim figure. Here is a straight angel. A face remembered. Not very much communicated, so hello-hello, so far, and a little about studying. Well, after the institute, when everyone ran away, some year later, I happened to come to the city for business.



I remember going to the store to buy something there, and I see a girl standing at the box office, a bit full, but with a figure. The waist is there, the chest, in general, a nice figure of peach. At one point, she turns her face to me. That is Katya. I only got a little better in a year.



She did not recognize me. Well, I approached and said, “Hello Katya, we haven’t seen each other for a long time. A year has passed.” That makes a surprised-wary face, cuddling, as if trying to understand or remember, knows me but doesn’t: “Sorry, we met somewhere? I do not remember you.”



- Katy, we were studying together in honey, in a lechfak, on the same stream, a year ago...

- I did not study in honey, I studied in honey a year ago and am still studying. My name is Katya, but you confused me with someone.



I looked into her face again. Direct one in one. I think yes. The coincidence. is surprising. But I ask for the case.



Do you not play me?

It gets out of the student pocket. She has been studying there for three years. In general, on all parameters, it comes out - identified.



I have to apologize for the inconvenience. Can I sort out my guilt? For example, to invite you to a cafe or somewhere else?



The girl smiles, shakes her head: “Why not?”



In general, I met Katya from the ped, told about Katya from honey. The rest is a different story :)

If the bride is not required for caly - it means she is not a gift.

The Eastern Wisdom

When, in 1994, the western group of troops was disbanded, my parents, unlike their fellow servants, went not in the east, but in the west, my dad and mom finally found ourselves in the city of Hamburg. I don’t know how they did it, but the fact remains a fact. After my father’s death, my mother only said that my dad did everything for my future. The company where my father got a job, engaged in electronic communications systems, rented for us an apartment near Kornhausbr

In the second class, we were all sent to the medical commission and taken a scrape.

A few days passed. Directly in the middle of the lesson, a school nurse entered the classroom, who decided to announce the results of the tests: "Everyone is okay, Ivanova worms," and went out.

I am in tears right away. And what do you think? The lesson had to be interrupted, I was surrounded by classmates, someone stretched his nose, someone smooked his head, someone told me that he also had worms, someone found lice.



So many years have passed, and I am still grateful to the children that have supported, have not started to poison. What happened to the nurse, I do not remember, but I would have raised the question of her professional suitability if the case concerned my child.

As a child, my parents warned me that a man only needs one thing, and that I should be careful. Well, I'm 28 years old, and suddenly it turned out that a man just needs to sleep, watch YouTube and eat, and "only one thing" needs purely me...

The evening. Local network store, 2 cash stores and 5-7 people on each. People after work are all bored, in reflection, silent. From the parallel row are:"Viiu-viiiu-viiiu-krak-krak-brak"

It turns into a strange sound. And there is Lolik and Bolik, and if more accurately 2 guys in an ambulance uniform with a food basket.

“Comrades, citizens, please miss the ambulances! There are a lot of challenges, at least to have time to eat in the car.

The people understandably began to give up the road, but the man who stood second was not in agreement: "This is what I must give up to you, you are not right, remember paragraph 3.2 pd. There is a signal, but I don’t see the lighthouse.”

The people began to get angry.

Lolik quickly got the lamp and began to turn on / off quickly, Bolik at this time mimicked silk.

- Wooo, boy, another matter, I give up the box.

The guy passed, well paid. Then they turned to the man and said, "Well, you are a frost, you are Nikolaich. On Sunday the schedule changed, you’ll be driving with us for 24 hours, ahaha!”

I have a friend, 6 years younger than me, met her in the hospital, lay with her in the same room. Her name is Cristina. Christina dreams of becoming a married lady. Why Why? To sit at home and forget about work. But instead, she is a fierce opponent of the position, “woman, guardian of the fireplace,” she wants to get married, sit home, and engage in her beauty. You do not need to eat cooking, everything can be bought, ordered, cleaned in the house is also not necessary, now very affordable cleaning, and let the dishes in the dishwasher wash. In her opinion, the care of a wife is to be beautiful next to her husband, so that others will be jealous. Christina has several times, was in a serious relationship, even lived together, but for some reason, she was not rushed to propose to go for a walk in the ZAGS in order to legalize the relationship. She even gave birth to a baby in the hope that the baby’s dad would marry her, and he actually married when she was 7 months pregnant, but with another girl. The child, unnecessarily, was solemnly handed over, for storage and upbringing, to the mother of Christina.



Christina, carefully, "studied" male psychology, by watching videos on YouTube, on the topic of how to keep a man, how to manipulate him, and how to marry yourself? Videos about how to understand a man were carefully ignored. And here, looking at the "smart" videos, Christina emphasized the main "truth" a man should not be bored with a girl, he should always be in light stress, it makes him think of her more often, and thus she will attract him to himself. A acquaintance, established a new relationship with a man, after some time, they came together, and began to live together, and here is Christina, began to put her "great" knowledge into practice, namely, to keep her man in light stress. In what way? Very simple, constant caprices, hysterics in an empty place, almost, right away, "ah yeah? I go to my mom!” Immediately in tears, with cries. Not that said, not that tone, not that language, shorter darkness. How much was enough for a man? Almost for two years. She once returned home, where she was, and the lock in the door was changed, and the door was not opened with her keys. The telephone of the subscriber is turned off, common acquaintances know nothing, saw nothing, neighbors said that they pointed out how he with his suitcase left the apartment, went somewhere. In short, the guy just left, changing the lock on the door, and all her things and documents, took her mother.



Christina then called us, her friends and acquaintances, crying out of injustice and misunderstanding, what could have gone wrong with her ideal strategy?

The more you give in to the different shit, the more you find yourself in the shit.

We went to sea with the whole family. She read the book “Exorcist of the Devil.” She said that she was so scared that she could not read it and threw it into the sea. I found the same book in a bookstore, bought it, soaked it in the toilet and put it in the box of a cover box in her room... The witness in the morning said that it was the first time he had heard the witch whisper from horror in bed...

The leaders of African countries heartily thanked Russian teachers and retirees for keeping up - thanks to this now they have money.

When I was a child, I had an adult friend, Aidar, living in my neighboring apartment. Well, as an adult – a year, probably three years older than me. His mother glued some nonsense from clay and practiced urine therapy on Idara, and Idap read the magazines "Coster" and "Young Technician" and inspired by them wrote in notebooks multi-volume novels about pioneers flying in silent space on different planets and spreading communism, heroism and uncomfortable teenage love there. On the cover of these notebooks, Aidar painted huge burning rockets, and it caught me so much that I also wanted to become a serious writer. I couldn’t stand it and I went to write a novel too. First I painted a fine flaming rocket, but the inspiration ended. I thought for a long time how it would be easier for me to send pioneers into space and drag them there into adventures, but I never came up with it. As a result, he randomly combined the names and surnames of the writers from the crusts of the parent books and wrote: "The cosmonauts Ivan Bulgakov, Vladimir Tsvetaev and Nikolai Hemingway overwintered on a distant planet but heard the furious roar of the mutant and sat back and flew." I recently went to my mom, found in my children's stuff, read - in my opinion, a good novel.

A young Georgian woman, Tamara, lived in her hometown and did not go into her mouth: she taught children in school English, thought about marriage, until she was lucky on one of three villages around - she won the lottery American green card.

Not very Tamara and pleased with this - just all her friends filed for the lottery and she filed too, for the company, not believing in luck at all.

Once such a case occurred, she decided to try her fate in a distant country.

When she arrived in the United States, she was lucky again: she quickly found a job as a babysitter in an American family with three pre-school boys. And everything seems to be good - parents are solid and benevolent, the salary is high, only one small "but": children did not know any restrictions, they cannot be punished and even raised their voices, well, of course, they this freedom with pleasure. Surveillance cameras were installed all over the house - the children didn't care, and Tamara felt very uncomfortable at first.

The boys were so disobedient that even the inner locks in the toilets were removed so they didn’t shut up there. What about them? They invented a new entertainment: they waited for Tamara to go to the toilet for their business, and then they all three broke there without knocking and with loud screams! For the first month, the poor woman somehow restrained herself, and then did not endure and remembered all the non-normative Russian words she knew, well in the toilet there was no surveillance camera and, except for the boys, nobody heard her.

This lasted more than half a year. Tamara would be happy to change the place of work, but it is not easy to find a job, and it is not yet known what kind of children will be there, so she tolerated as much as she could.

One Sunday, when the whole family came from the church, the housewife announced to Tamara that she was fired and explained the reason: the children, all three, insult the Russian mat! It turned out that they had a new Russian-speaking parish woman in the church, who heard the children’s conversations and told her parents everything.

“They could hear these words anywhere,” Tamar tried to object.

“No, that woman said that the children with a Georgian accent will be defiled!

For some reason in very expensive cars always sit very unpleasant people. They are unpleasant at least by sitting in very expensive cars.

I rarely communicate with clients, i.e. managers, designers... But there are very attentive customers. For example, a priest from the Catholic Church. One day he called and said he wanted to discuss the details of the order personally. Someone in the office gave him the number. And I have a number with a very easy to remember combination of numbers.

In general, there is a paddle, and from the threshold:

What a phone number! You are the boss!

I pointed my finger up and said:

and no. Our boss is there.

The priest was very respectful and respectful.



The office is on the second floor, and I am on the first.

One day I read the math theses of a comrade who worked all night. I approached him and said, “Friend, you’re tired. You have some epsilons (ε) written on the other side.”

And then he told me that there was another “number 3”

It happened now.

A colleague brought his 5-year-old daughter to work. The whole day she went with the badge from leaflet to cell "Vice Director" and in the evening, apparently, entered the role.

A client enters our office. He asks where the laundry is. The vigilant micro-adjunct of the boss, loudly, childishly ringing and with an expression, like a king's whisper, declares:

The toilet is busy. There is a director!

It was fun. Many employees smiled embarrassed.

A few minutes later, the general comes out of the toilet.

The little voice activated again:

The Director Picked! You can pass! It sounded all over the office, and with a hand movement, as if giving a reverence, the girl pointed to the visitor to the toilet.

The director asked my colleague not to bring the children to work anymore. =) is

When I was a child, I heard that if you throw a petard in the toilet, the neighbors will have a fountain water.

When I was somewhere 13-14 years old, there was not much mind in my head, snow lay on the street, and I had petards "black death" and "corsar", I decided to play the destroyer of legends even before this show began to exist.



I put it in the bathroom to see if it was gone. I remembered, I started washing. The cotton. Toilets and water on the floor. Only the barrel remains and the ring on top, everything on the bottom - in pieces. I picked up the pieces, wiped out everything, I sat in the kitchen.

lived with my father. He comes home, I sit like I don’t know anything. After a while, he goes to the toilet. From there:

So what about the toilet?

I found nothing better:

I do not know! I sat down and he broke.

How can he break?

I don’t know, the toilet has never broken under me before.

He comes back from the store with a new one and says:

- The toilet seller said that he hears about such crashes every day, and you, scuttle, threw the petard there!



20 years have passed and I, in my style of comedy, still deny everything.

In 1992, Arsen Egyiazaran and I played in the Moscow Dynamo chess championship. One day after the tour, they decided to go to the ZŠK, see the books. We walk along the Gogol Boulevard, and here we see: I meet slowly, hand in hand with a big man, a old man in glasses. A familiar face.

This is Botvinnik! I pull a friend’s sleeve.

and exactly! He confirms it.

We start bumping into our pockets in search of paper. The only thing I find is a blank where I re-written the game after the game. It is the course and the result. I forgot to name. Compared to the great champion, I extend a form and ask for an autograph.

Mikhail Moiseevich glanced slightly at the text, hastily turned the form and put an autograph under the result "1: 0" in the column "Signature of the Negroes". He then handed me the relic back and said:

- Now write down the names and say that you won at Botwinnik!

How much you owe the state, it demands more.