bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №99008
 09.06.2014
in the shop
Buyer: Give me the sausage I took last time.
Seller: Which one did you pick?
Buyer: What should I remember?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99007
 09.06.2014
What kind of cooking art will you have?

Eggs with sausage, I won't hurt any more

The Holocaust Dinner. You are a girl ?

I am a little girl.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99006
 09.06.2014
Route of Minsk-Polotsk Another router looks into the salon, tells the driver about something, silences for a second and then laughing says: "And the time you have is catastrophic, just the apocalypse of something." I raise my eyes, and the time on the screen is 44:57. You will not argue.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №99005
 09.06.2014
XXXX: I’ll give you some advice.
When you switch to electronic signs, throw everything out... all the fucking firearms!
XXX: Ppc... On the machine just smoked, t.k. I had a flashlight in my pocket... Now I’m afraid to accidentally throw it out in the urn.
yyy: The main thing to the filter do not skin)

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №99004
 09.06.2014
XXX: What do you know?
I was going to go out on the street, I think I need to take a shower.
I went to the shower, started to wash and the grandmother and hot water turned off, and I am already all in the shower gel)))
Okay, the challenge is accepted.
Washing in the cold
washed
Water included
I am a winner in life.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №99003
 09.06.2014
xxx: Brother, I saw the new girlfriend of Sasha today!
How big is this breast? More than July?
xxx: Brother, I think these breasts can even be found on Google Maps!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №99002
 09.06.2014
About the efficiency of mechanical alarms: in the 1980s. The girlfriend stood up like this: on the secretary's thrown-off cover was placed a big grandmother's alarm and soup plate, a spoonful was placed in the plate. The drizzling of the alarm clock caused the secretary’s lid to vibrate and the spoon burst on the plate. But little of that! Because of the vibration, the plate slowly but steadily slipped to the edge of the thrown cover. It was necessary to wake up, jump up and pick up the plate before it fell and broke down (for which you could get p**s from my mom).

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №99001
 09.06.2014
to this

I want a train too!! and :)

If it is about Donetsk and Luhansk region, it is quite real. In these places there is a very high connectivity, i.e. Between two non-stop cities, you can travel on several different routes. Given the situation in the region, the dynamic trains routes are not surprising.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №99000
 09.06.2014
Do you like domestic animals?
He: I treat dogs, cats and domestic rabbits equally well.
She: You are so cute!
It is a good reserve of nutrients in case of hunger or war.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №98999
 09.06.2014
According to statistics, most people are humiliated on the day of their salary.

[ + 75 - ] Comment quote №98998
 09.06.2014
I have a small online store. I only got to the computer in the evening. I saw an order. Time at 18:30 hrs. Well, I think it’s not too late, I’ll call the buyer to confirm his order.
I call from the cell. No phone for a long time. Then they answered with a tired voice:
and alo!
Is it such a thing? I ask you.
and yes! by ALO! Speak to!
You are worried about the online store. Control call on order.
Yes, I already understood! I have ordered!
Or order 10 units of such goods?
and yes! Send it!
Your order will be sent tomorrow. Apparently at 8:15, at 8:20...
I have understood! Send it!
They put a phone. What a nervous client. Look at the index – Mommy dear! Magadan area, they have half the third night!
The next day at 2 p.m. I get a phone call, I crash.
A quiet stealthy voice from that Magadan number asks:
Did you send an order?
I have vengeance, shit.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №98997
 09.06.2014
My mom! The Mom!
What, my son?
I have a monster under my blanket.
Which of the nightclubs he brought, this is the one that lies.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №98996
 09.06.2014
A wife with a breast-fed baby on her arms before a walk looks at some myldrama.
The tragic moment in the film and her voice with a plea and drops of tears: Well I was painted.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №98995
 09.06.2014
"Springers in the wool" is something else. I have a fourth size. And for my fourth size, I can't find a normal beetle without a beetle! No, they are there. But these are nightmarish models, goodbye to the youth of Belarus with an indispensable foolish batch in front, and only three colors: not very white, dirty beige and black. And sometimes they are triangular... These, I think, are made in the early 50s, and this is NOT a stylization.
Of the two evils, I choose the smaller one, the wicked one.
And those men who maliciously spy on the girls in the "Porrelone", I wish for the rest of my life when buying cowards to choose exclusively between erotic strings and swimsuits with the "Porrelone" insert. Wake up like that!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98994
 09.06.2014
Are they harsh? Here I had to see the harsh Russian babies who played on the beach of Northern Dvina, pulling the water with the cockroaches of herself, just opened up from the ice, and delightedly immersing their pins in the icy water. A metre thick piece of ice was lying next to it.

They are not harsh. Here we are far in the Northeast (not yet in Chukotka, but not very far from it)... Starting with the fact that the sunshine season began long before the snow fell, somewhere in April. The frost is still light, but it bakes in the sun if there is no wind. The entire ski costume is the skies themselves with shoes and - maximum, swimsuits. And in the rivers swam in the summer, the water is ice, often nearby and never since the winter. We had such a harsh childhood.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №98993
 09.06.2014
Q: How old is the child?
YYY: 2.2
ttt: this is the version

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №98992
 09.06.2014
XXX is fun. I even remembered the story. It was in the hideous 90s. The father went to the country with a new backpack and, leaving for a ticket, left the backpack unattended. Returning 2 minutes later, he found that the backpack was not in place, and the kidnapper and the trail freed. He was offended by its content, as it was ridiculous, because in the backpack there was an important item for him and nothing more, and it was... Attention to!! 70 kilograms of stone for decorating the garden in the country!!!by xDDD
YYY: ahaha))) Probably a valuable acquisition for the thief)))))) I would like to see his face when he opened that backpack))))

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №98991
 09.06.2014
The presence of a 5-year-old son gives me, an adult man, the iron right to watch MULTIQ!!! to

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №98990
 09.06.2014
A: Write a letter with your right hand.‎
Hi my hand. We consulted with your left-handed merchant here and decided to reveal to you the sad truth. Your shoulders are your adoptive parents.
You really are in the ass.

[ + 22 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №98989
 08.06.2014
If a spoon falls on the floor, a woman will come, if a knife, a man. If the gun falls, who will come?
The militias!

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