bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №92067
 05.01.2014
The article on the hub about the relationship of two tables in the BD, the very beginning of the article: "As a trial database we will take Oracle."

The first thought is who is more experimental for whom, the smart hero.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №92066
 05.01.2014
They ran to the McDonald’s Express and paid for it. We read the check: “Cassor: Fat E.”
Something was wasted =)

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №92065
 05.01.2014
Before the new year I buy candy, the seller shows me a stand with candy, it is written "manufacturer Kazakhstan". I decided to buy for a test.
At home, as usual, I study the label - on all three varieties the manufacturer - RT, Kazan.
My aunt-seller and her husband under 50, and they both told me what wonderful Kazakh candy. You say you have a bad education.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №92064
 05.01.2014
What is the injustice: "Why are smart girls more likely to think of themselves as stupid than stupid?"

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №92063
 05.01.2014
The century lives, the century learns, and the fools are lucky.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №92062
 05.01.2014
Broken theme of women (and what is it at all?) The man’s logic. From a familiar face. I stand in the store and for 15 minutes I can't choose a shirt, both beautiful and similar style. My husband approaches and I ask him, "What should I take, white or blue, with a collar or without a collar?" The husband without thinking and a fraction of a second confidently says, "Of course, no." “...?? ” “It’s easier to look at.”

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №92061
 05.01.2014
If GAZPROM is a national fortune, please tell me, which nation do I pay money to each month?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №92060
 05.01.2014
Judging by the uninterrupted text messages after NG with the won Mercedes, the director of MTS never bought a new Mercedes for NG.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №92059
 05.01.2014
Talk about a possible wedding:
So, make a nice proposal...
He is: How? With implications?
and ?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №92058
 05.01.2014
The Cinema:
________________
The xxx:
I watched the film "Sot", where a guy runs with a cell phone around the city. Then I looked at the “Telephone Booth,” where the guy was back with the phone, but tied to the telephone booth. Then I watched “Buried Alive,” where the man was buried in the grave, and again with the phone. I think where else can you find a person with a phone and where to find this movie...
________________

Look at "Doctor Who", there is a half-series in the telephone cabin.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №92057
 05.01.2014
He grew up...
This is when you realize that a fresh everyday shirt, lovingly squeezed by the wife, acts on the girlfriend at work not as a red patch on the bull, but as a red sign of STOP c clutch wire and mine stretches! and :(

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №92056
 05.01.2014
Look at it! Do you hear what a sweet?
I don’t know, it’s so hard to see...

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №92055
 05.01.2014
Played in Dota
There was only one American on the American server.
Other Russians
The whole team wept for him to learn Russian.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №92054
 05.01.2014
St. Petersburg, Commandant Prospect, New Year's Eve

I went home with my wife and child after the salute.
In front of us is a huge sober man under two meters of height, all in black, holding a living tree 2-3 meters high, and oreth "THIS IS YOLKAAAAAAAA!". I hardly managed to run to the side.
Judging by the repeated cry already behind our backs, Chel also scared all those we met.

Man, thanks to you! =)) Made our New Year's Eve unforgettable, rugged for a long time))))

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92053
 05.01.2014
to this

...Chrome-24: The testman on the fourth started to get bad contact with the washer in the subwoofer switch. It took me 6 (six) hours to clean the contacts, I needed a weld, a bulgar, a drill and a hammer...

The troll? I am riding the classics. I don’t know where these tools can be used. They just don’t fit in in size. For this, I need one twist and max 15 minutes. The carburetor can stretch for up to 40 minutes. Especially with my car.

Men are born, unfortunately.

and Xenia.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №92052
 05.01.2014
in the culinary forum.
Topic "Absolutely stupid kitchen gadgets"
xxx: Let's share in this topic a kitchen little thing, completely giftlessly made or not needed in the normal kitchen :)
A completely unnecessary gadget in the kitchen, although the quality is normal, made in the USSR, according to the GOST... Although as a recycling tool is indispensable
Zzzz: No, Mašuna, I’t call it that. Just your "aggregate" " badly set up". My, for example, knows that to go into the kitchen and start there "function", when I am cooking something there, is only worth when I invite him there ;)
aaa: In my opinion, it is very troubling and short-sighted to diagnose the entire line of devices on the basis of a single failed sample. Per the GOST is not a kitchen, so in a foreign environment and is perceived as stupid. and if the quality of the sample is suitable in principle and in some situations the gadget is indispensable ;), then either use as intended or remember the settings.
BBB: I support it very much! My gadget, although born in the USSR and according to GOSTU, but raised in Lichia 90 and most likely according to TU! Often settings fail, and walking around the kitchen at an unnecessary moment for my process causes a storm of emotions.
CCC: I disagree with you! It’s not my guest, it’s a premium class. I can do in the kitchen what I can’t.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №92051
 05.01.2014
I just took her husband’s PSP because he was playing her in the bathroom. Well, it can be soaked, broken, and I gave it only to NG. He said that in that case, my next gift to him would be a boat on radio control. Not to be bored in the bathroom. My husband will be 32 years old this year.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №92050
 05.01.2014
On television, they want children’s laughter never to cease at home. Maybe even when you don’t have children. Maybe even when you live alone. Even, probably, when at night in bed, covered with a blanket and closing your ears, you ask them to stop - They will not silence! They will never be silent!
Hmmm... Hmmm... You’re probably meeting the new year alone? Come to us, we have it all!
HGH: is it true?
See also: AGA
HH: Okay then.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №92049
 05.01.2014
to this:
My friend was told how he was in depression right after his immigration a year earlier: Everyone else is not. The bread is not the same, the climate is not the same, everything is unclear.
And here he goes into the kitchen in depression, opens the refrigerator, and a huge cockroach runs through the refrigerator door. And my friend even rejoiced: finally at least something familiar with which he knows exactly what to do. He took off his shoe, swallowed...
<wasisualij> A cockroach raised its wings and flew out the window.
<wasisualij> And a friend sat down and cried.
<Hobober>...the dwarf whispered into the window"

Our cockroaches also know how to fly, only badly and not far, like chickens. My father told me a case - a long time ago, twenty-five or thirty years ago it was... He goes into the kitchen, and the cockroach runs through the closet. The closet stood close to the doorway. Well, the father just aimed to catch the cockroach, as he raised his wings and - frrrr! Down the corner of the closet. His father was so upset that he didn’t even chase him.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №92048
 05.01.2014
by dima-voin
In any case, I am a doctor of technical sciences.
YYYY :
I immediately realized that in front of me was an educated man. Not just because of addiction to the genius series "Internal". I was impressed by the nickname "dima-voin". I feel something noble about it.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna