bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №88787
 24.10.2013
Chui, don't joke so subtly, now two months will be bitterly breathing about modern education, once a great country and a fucking generation.

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If you are asked, what is better, the sun or the moon? Answer for a month. For the sun shines in the day when it is already light, and the moon in the night.
Kozma Prutkov (50-60s of the 19th century)

Education and the truth crants, if we do not know such quotes...
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It’s crazy not to change fate.
Two months of war on the fucking generation is still secured.
Well, I at least tried.

[ + 17 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №88786
 24.10.2013
The fucking!! I was frozen when I went to work. All the grandmothers fell on their knees and prayed, accepting the ringing of my eggs for the ringing of church bells!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88785
 24.10.2013
What a matter.
The sportsman sent SMS, congratulated him with the dungeon, gave him 300 bonuses
Malina sent SMS, congratulated, gave a free ticket to the musical
Smiley sent SMS, congratulated, gave 10% discount for 30 days
Alphabank sent SMS, congratulated, wished good health.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №88784
 24.10.2013
All this kangaroo,

I doubted and failed:

I also doubt:

A healthy goose never descends from its plant... All those goose that you see... are usually infected with the larvae of the goose rider... This is what I do... The goose is already on the drum, where to crawl, it is doomed and deprived of almost all its interiorities. This is the truth of life.
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Most species of butterflies at the end of the development cycle enter the displacement stage. They drop from the feed plant and crawl (I would even say they will run) by chance until they are tired. Then they are buried and burned. This allows them to distribute during wintering and increase the chances of puppies surviving during the freezing of individual areas of soil. During the run, the goats are really vulnerable to the attacks of invaders, tachins and other parasites, but nature has decided that it is worth it. Most of the running goats are quite healthy and will quickly turn into dogs.

P.S If you catch two or more of the same "running" goats, you can arrange real goat runs! The funniest thing is that they don’t need to be pushed – they run by instinct. And that doesn’t hurt them. They will still run during the period assigned by nature.

– – – – –

The last paragraph is read with the intonation of Drozov.
The last one is the orgasm drops.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №88783
 24.10.2013
Reading on the tape news about various legislative initiatives aimed at improving the well-being of individual workers, I noticed one feature. Photographs of officials all with the ratio of sides 16:9 rather than 4:3. Because the faces are not

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88782
 24.10.2013
Who is walking by us all the time?
The New Year’s Eve "Tuesday" They meet here on Tuesdays.
What day of the week is today?
- Wednesday

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88781
 24.10.2013
I ask everyone who will participate in the Olympic Fire to smile. There should not be a single cloudy face in our cultural capital" (C) Deputy Governor of SPB Vasily Kisheji.

How obvious it would be:
"Why not in the nurseries? Mr. PJ’s order is to put all the boys in the shirt. We are happy"

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №88780
 24.10.2013
Victoria: I was now going to the theater dining room of the Soviet Army. I was asked at the entrance: Are you on the list? I checked, but I wasn’t there naturally.
Victoria: 1000 papers checked me nowhere
I took the pen and wrote myself. I said there is now :D
I was answered: OK. Now you can go)

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №88779
 24.10.2013
We discuss on Skype which bar to go on Friday.
xxx: I have these three options - see which pyjama, let's get together
xxx: in one on Friday violinist some, in the second - covers rolling stones, in the third - "hits 80x-90x", but you need to see in more detail
Yyy: the violin is going on the fuck I think
yyy: We are of course "appreciators", but it’s a breakthrough for the first cultural evening =)
zzz: Are you striving because the monocle left in the tampon?

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №88778
 24.10.2013
The insulting bug:

In accounting, no less than a ruble, when administrators in 100 rubles can not allocate VAT!
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
When I started my job as a buch, I was also offended by the quotes on this site. Until I moved to live in a large city, where I met the previously unknown beast "admin" (there were no of them in our village, all the comps were made with their own hands). After seven years of working with the buffalo, I want to say two things:
1) accounting for 90% consists of chickens. And the knowledge in the withdrawal of VAT from 100 rubles is that 1C can do this. Take a computer, give a calculator, a sheet and a pen in your hands - the chicken will hang.
2) administrators for 90% consist of specialists not only in computer subjects, but also accounting.Among them there are also hackers and failures, but they just make up the smaller part.
Now I am ashamed sometimes to say that I am a buck. But my husband-admin calls my profession loudly and proudly, because I am an "atypical accountant" (c)
Patience to you, dear admin!

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №88777
 24.10.2013
How is X? Just as stupid as you?
She is a completely different fool.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №88776
 24.10.2013
They borrowed idiots from the pink country:

>>> Who is letting these people on the train and, most importantly, why?

Guides for money. Your K.O.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №88775
 24.10.2013
The news:

While the Vatican declared a strict austerity regime, German bishop Franz-Peter Tebartz van Elst spent 350,000 euros. Wardrobe and 15,000. Buying a bath.

The commentary:
Only in our country, only in our country.

[ + 56 - ] Comment quote №88774
 24.10.2013
The PZDC! I woke up earlier this morning. Arrived at work. I sit for an hour. The other. Work does not fall. Everything is somehow crushing and I realize that I am burning and I begin to pretend that the work is just the tomatoes.
The head of (a)
Q: What are you busy with?
I: How to what? The work...
N: What is it?
I: Well a lot of everything. I haven’t been out for a few hours, what?
Suddenly, a call from Jennie. I suggest the boss to take the phone. The dialogue:
Q: Will you be choosing for a long time?! to
What kind of spare parts?
You went to the store last night. Where do you wear so much?! to
I: Dear, I am at work. Do not disturb me, please.
J: What are you doing there?
I am working!! Lena, don’t bother me! I have papers here like dirt.
You are on vacation from today!

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88773
 24.10.2013
On the entrance wall, literally:
"Dear citizens of the country!
Due to the heat flow
Heating will be turned off.
16.10.2013 from 9.00 am and upcoming."

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №88772
 24.10.2013
A friend decided to somehow comfort the school and write letters to his former teachers. The guy whether the sense of humor is specific, or is he really such - in general, he wrote:
1) teacher of Russian (I copy): "Thank you Galina Nikolaevna! Your lessons did not go for nothing - I had a lifetime of language! I have them in the ur - the females praise!"
“Dear Valentina Ivanovna, thank you very much that you didn’t take your hand on me at the time! It was you who turned my fate 360 degrees - this knowledge of mathematics still suits me!
And the fist (!Uncle Ivanych - your lessons have brought me the most benefit in my life, thank you enormously! Thanks to your rigorous and selective attitude, I have learned how to counterfeit certificates from the physer at a professional level!
4) and, finally, I will say: "Dear Alla Vasilyevna! How I am grateful to you! After all, it was your efforts at our school that were such wonderful teachers! Sorry for the smell of the school!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №88771
 24.10.2013
The child was searching for his film on websites, and it was everywhere removed by copyright holders... and only in the voice of Goblin in free access! Shut off on time, so I’ll learn a lot of new things.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №88770
 24.10.2013
Here is this:

Reading posts about the Russian Post, there was such an idea.Build a package with pressure sensors on all sides, an accelerometer, a microphone and an actual recording device.On arrival (if it comes) to process the data and put it on the network)Who has the technical resources for this experiment, do this PLEASE.

Read the Habr. A similar experiment was conducted. A lot of educational travel packages.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №88769
 24.10.2013
From the Coder Forum (2003)

♂: How can I make the background around the desktop icons transparent?
♀ Is it to see the inside of the monitor?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №88768
 24.10.2013
I feel like a tough man, when I remove the squeeze with cuts, align my nails with a superfil, sew my clothes with a sheath and flat clothes.
I feel a gentle girl when I clean the wires with maneuveral scissors, turn off the screws with a nail bar, clean any surfaces with a liquid to remove the lacquer.
Well, why in an emergency, like evil, the necessary items are never at hand, right?

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