My 5 cups:

This something:
Tell someone to these humanoids from what planet, who produce large bags for washing powder and pasta, that a person has 4 fingers, not three!! to

I x@ei, aliens with 3 and 4 fingers divide, in the open, laundry powder and pasta on the Internet, and the opinion of the Earthans no one asks...
So, I, as an indigenous inhabitant of the planet Earth, have FIVE fingers on each limb!!! The Five!! to
You came here, you know.

How do you imagine the holes for your fifth floor, Earthman? I support 4 hole holders.

I chose pastas yesterday, with a different taste than I finished.
XXX: I finally found out I bought the same :)
I bought tea three times.
Which I am allergic to

We are talking about whether we need to hire new patent experts. I notice that if there are too many requests, I will get so many translations that I will just die.
Boss: "That's not a problem - we'll hire another translator"
Pause *
I mean to HELP you, not after you kill yourself!

Roskomnadzor is the most dangerous for children, because it pretends to protect, but in fact does not.
It’s like you put a gun on a security guard and it didn’t work.

Habr

[23:54:46] Barrakuda: I had a file today...
[23:57:35] worm: let’s talk about the file)
[23:57:39] worm: the eyes are closed already
[23:58:30] Barrakuda: I came to the store for the stove, met a friend... and he let’s ask, what’s better? Beeline or Spark. I explain to him. Bilein is more stable, spark is cheaper. Well, and so on... I tell you about the service, that the spark pidar... etc... And the guy asks me, and ROSTELEKOM like the internet? Well.. I by habit and old memory declare with all the authority that the Internet, which was the UTC good can not be... and here!!!!!! I am angry with a man who turned out to be the ROSTELEKOM installor and tells the guy that I am a deer and I do not shake anything... THAT they are hidden, they have for 400 rubles 15 megabits, and no more. And what I have on the spark 100 is fucking...these technologies still do not exist!!! to

The incident was recently. The subscriber complained that every morning someone calls him and the number is defined as “Signal.” He cannot accept the challenge. No calls are detected in detail. The incident ran through the cellular company’s departments for several days, until the administrators finally guessed it was an alarm clock!! If the subscriber is a troll, then quite noble))

Correspondence in work mail:

xxx: I sell Brother MFP, the reason for the sale: it takes up a lot of space and does not need a pin
YYY: No money but I can exchange for a gasoline! Official pile - pile it all! Beautiful orange color, will be a worthy decoration for any man.

October... soon there will be quotes about ass and session... they’ll think it’s funny.

The Male Logic

refuse to have sex with a girl because she has a menstrual period, the reason is that the member is worn out, the type of некомильфо.
A few days later, the same girl begins to engage in anal sex.
Then offended because she laughed for a long time.

Commentary of the programmer after six months of work in the new organization:

I think I know who the director is and he doesn’t love me anymore.

A friend writes from work:
Vova (17:50): 10 minutes left to work
Vova (17:50): And all my life (((

Are you talking about urbanization? A city of half a million people. In the center of the city - the production of electronics. In the factory - the workshop, in which a robot puts SMD components on print boards, works a oven to pay the paste, the old Soviet oscillograph noises, people work, the solder smoke. For the third time in a week in the midst of all this on my desk sits a bird-blue, without a burn, so cracked my cookies and apparently they hide on the design documentation. When he tries to open the window and release it into the natural habitat, he looks like an idiot.

by Habrahabra

The astronauts of the ISS will test a mini-brewery created by an 11-year-old student.

This student too literally perceived the film Armageddon with a drunk Russian astronaut on board the station.

and Arisystem:
I am increasingly convinced that soon the word "blogger" will be more and more equated to the word "pizdobol"...

and nigger:
Is it not the same thing?? to

xxx: In their study, published in the new issue of the American scientific journal “Physiology and Behavior”, scientists found that the body of cats, when they are peeled, produces the “stress hormone” – cortisol.
YYY: So what are they going to do then?
The cats, sir.

In the zoo:

Take this food, it is delicious! Chicken and vegetables. Or here is a gentle calf, with green, with vitamins. This is crisp, or maybe you want to be soft? There are pieces of meat in sauce. There is a goat’s liver...

I take a pack of Musske and think: maybe take two, and hell with her, with my diet?

Communicating with journalists of the Russian regional media on October 11, Alexander Lukashenko expressed the opinion that age should not be an obstacle to the birth of a child. As an example he cited himself and Russian singer Alla Pugacheva.
Who was the surrogate mother?

What kind of animal would you like to be?
I do not know. Probably a snake, you lie all the time, eat once a week, and occasionally show bad people the tongue.

by Habr

>translate here and there and go to infinity

I remembered the article of Pereslegin, where the topic of multiple translations was touched:
In one such experiment, the short phrase “From Pepsi to New Life!” turned into the following “horrible, ancient” spell: “The whispering water will raise your ancestors up from their graves.”

My childhood was better.
At least those,
They didn’t sing on TV.
About the Prelude.
Just me