Professor of astronomy speaks at a lecture about how the moon is slowly moving away from the earth and how it is important for the earth, but the Khan will come to us sooner than the fact that in about five billion years the sun will expand and turn into a red giant.
An exciting comment from the audience:
I have clothes on the street!!! to

Commentary on Titanium

Dear employees of MTS! Please shoot your employees after dismissal!!! to

to this:
I went out for lunch for a walk. A 32-year-old woman stands next to the building and speaks very loudly on the phone.by :
I can't find the Prospect of Truth. 11 was found and 10 was not.
At the same time, the aunt stands under the display of Prospect of Truth 10.
-------------------------

The age of your aunt by the annual rings?

by linuxorg

Oh, normal people write in the country, and they have everything flowing and segflotts, but very quickly.
And if you change the order of copying bytes in memcpy(3) to the reverse, then they have the Blood of the Penis.

But here are normal people who write in PHP. They always work somehow, but no one knows what will happen in border cases: maybe the message will be sent to a random user, maybe the server will end up space. No one knows what is going to happen, but everyone pretends that everything is fine.

There are still normal people with goat warts, melting and glasses with a thick wall without diopters, who would write on a ruby and throw data at a heated rate in the Mongob, but only they do not have time, because they ride at conferences, make a presentation for investors in the next startup in Keynote.app, write blogs

Or there, normal people write in hash. Without a doctorate in mathematics and half-liter you will not understand what they are writing. However, it doesn’t matter, because they all write, write, write, and the result with the gulkin is a shit, only a half-working prototype that runs only on the developer’s machine and rolls with a mistake or does nothing.

And there are normal people, whose programs, they say, do not slide, do not inhibit, and consume a negative amount of memory, but they are too busy struggling on the LOR to show at least one of their creations.

The year 2011:
xxx: After the implementation of Win7 we in technical support was born a new question to the user: -Do you have the button "Start" round or rectangular?
The year 2013:
XXX: Do you have it?
(c) No name

The real case.
An elderly woman goes to the doctor and says:
I have gonorrhea.
The doctor makes round eyes:
Are you sure?
I have no hemorrhoids.
The doctor is in shock and the woman says:
I don’t remember, he is gathering. These are similar diseases.

XHH: I have understood. The talent to communicate with relatives lies in the ability to make a poker face when pulling to make a feipalm.

The loved ones wait, the rich wait.

Yesterday my daughter was born. gathered on this. One of the guests, still single and childless, but living in a house with a large family, gave a toast, saying that the child would grow up quietly and calmly. What another friend, who has already become a father, noticed in half a voice:
A quiet child is unusual. He either thought of something, or already did something.

Advertising for the Army:
During the First World War, 90% of the soldiers and 10% of the civilians were killed. During the Second World War, 50% of the military and 50% of the civilians were killed. The 20th century ended with the bombing of Yugoslavia, during which 90% of civilians and 10% of soldiers were killed. The new millennium began with the war in Iraq. There are no accurate statistics on casualties, but more or less agree that the ratio of civilians killed to soldiers killed is 50 to 1.
Service in the army is your chance to survive in the upcoming war!

Comrade is studying for the bug in the first class. He told me what I was doing in 9-10 class.
– What, Tollan, as always is thirsty?
- Well how to tell you, today here was the topic on astronomy "Meteorites and Meteors".
The lecturer showed a lot of funny flyers. A Toyota advertisement, where a meteorite fell on their waist and remained unharmed and all that. But I liked it more when he started showing a collection of videos with the Chelyabinsk meteorite. There in the middle of the collection some guy clearly pronounces "YIBAAAT!!!". I watched, everyone was inspired. One of the students asks - said, and what is interesting he says? What a lecturer, a German, who at one time received a diploma in Baku and lived the first 30 years of his life in the DDR, confidently answers "it's something like "Oh my God! It's unbelievable!" And then twice twisted the video to watch. Should we say that, leaving the audience, all the students tried to correctly reproduce the Russian surprise?

He listened to a student's conversation with the teacher in the hallway:
by Anna Mikhailovna!
P is yes?
C: You don’t even listen to me.
P: Yes I understood you.

Snake: fucking ><
How life is like this...
Snake: Why do I, a nuclear physicist, explain to someone with a higher economic education how to count profits when revenue and costs are known? What is wrong with education?
Dolbokluyi: The Giants
Dolbokluyi: Do you ask him at all in his plate?
Dolbokluyi: these are people like that))))
Dolbokluyi: I have long said that love will save the country
Dolbokluyi: and mass shootings :O)))))
Snake: and mass shootings, yes

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
YYY: And you put on the alarm clock a whirlwind of running water. Even if you don’t wake up from the alarm clock, you’ll have to get up soon.

How much of the sound insulation in the headphones he noticed only when in the electric car he found a warrior, when he was already in the next car.

to there:

Does it not seem to you, my dear assemblies, that a group of trolls specifically throws here controversial / false / provocative data (cyanide, the Swedish table, the torch, iOS7, and the like) to arrange a battle among the fierce advocates of justice?

No, they are just idiots.

DanBass: I would like to see the sequel to Titanic
BUMO: And how do you imagine it? Will they build a new one and drown again?
argenizer: Jack, when distracted Rose with talks in the water, stole her a diamond and specially drowned, in the ocean he was saved by the Atlantians and dressed with frogs, and when the spark ended, he sold the diamond, changed his name to Gatsby and began to have fun.

Comments on the news about new TVs with curved screen.

XXX: Previously, the ELT was spotted
Yyy: This is because the screen size was small and the family sat around the TV, and now everyone has a big diagonal telecast. Now the television is trying to sit around the viewer.

Do you work on Saturdays?
and AGA
A full day?
No, an hour less. But without lunch.

to this
clockworkshrimp: A new concept car for "Ford" His name is Ford Boyd. To reach the ignition key, you need to push your hand into a bag with snakes.

And from the navigator the old man will broadcast and puzzle: you will not guess - will not pave the way where you need to. Or, on the contrary, it will be mysterious. You are on the other side, right? And he said, “Nothing, the way to "Lad" is not easy!