bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №84307
 18.07.2013
Uzbekistan has refused political asylum to Edward Snowden, although Snowden himself has not asked for it.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84306
 18.07.2013
Picture of a man walking with a dog:
Korean before meals or with food.
Koreans raised a new breed of dogs "To beer".

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84305
 18.07.2013
LiliT: I honestly believed all my life that my height was 173, but I was recently measured, it turned out to be 168))))
<[PEER]Dyxa> Matrena_Skovoroda: I had the same with my member.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №84304
 18.07.2013
I went to the veterinarian with my cat. The doctor is a young girl.
- The drug can be given in the form of a pill, and you can... well... rectally.
Give me a pill.
It is rectally safer.
- You know, after you last put him a thermometer... well, he said to me at home, "Listen, if this doctor was a man, I would bite his throat!"

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84303
 18.07.2013
Baby is Mom, where do you look?
I check if there are no workers in the neighborhood.
R – Why?
I want to shoot from the bow.
R in the workers?! to

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84302
 18.07.2013
NikitA: The daughter quest came up: Mom, cook me peanut soup, only without peanut-like in the garden!

[ + 16 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84301
 18.07.2013
Dear guys, when you regularly change your socks and shave your ankles, we feel like a princess next to you.

your girls

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №84300
 18.07.2013
You have to pay for everything, as it is a pity that it is not always money.

by Dmitry Lavrenkov

[ + 47 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84299
 18.07.2013
Recently, I met a guy, they drove to the area a car killed from there to the city pulled. We talked along the way and he told me a story.(From his face to his face)
I went to Yakutia for a long ruble. We were paid and really good, but the job, mother does not burn. The gold mining mine stands in the mountains, to the base of security off-road about 250 km. I worked as a driver there. Three days in a day we wandered. You go, in the cabin of Kraza 2 furnaces, double glasses, and on board minus 65. in the body for every case so always a few barrels of sunlight talk, its consumption is immeasurable, it is there everywhere needed. The fluid of life, mola. Fire water there costs unthinkable money. Whoever knows, chases Braga, but one fuck is not that. Here is history. We can't get out of the base loaded. I thinks something and I say in a loud voice: Ah, I would have given the whole salary for a bathtub and a bottle of water right away!! to
The partner woke up like this right away and cleverly shouted to me: what, right here is the entire salary for a bottle?! to
Well, I immediately sparked the lighthouse (maybe he pulled it from the Big Earth somehow): Cho, gryu, and can’t be marked? Where is she with you?(And my partner, by the way, in this trip was no longer a newcomer, the third time came there, and my first time was.) About the bath, I immediately pretended that it was.
He grit, let me drive, let us go. Sitting in the car, I went. And I wonder how it became, I know for sure that there are no human settlements, except for the mine and base of our nearest 800 km around. And your partner knows how to smile. One hundred kilometers we drove away from the base, and he turned to the right from the track. And the night in the yard, the endless north, -65 on board. I already started to remember whether I had wronged my partner that he would kill me in the tundra. It seemed exactly everything. However, 15 kilometers later I saw a lightning approaching.
They arrived. The man in the towel ran out, the gate opened, they walked in. They ran out of the car and into the house. I came in, I was surprised. very strongly. In principle, an ordinary house with euro repair. Only geography fucking, an unusual necklace. A computer, a plasma telephone, all things. Refrigerator with 3 chambers. There are gifts of the far north and conserves of the bourgeois. In short, we rested with him, 2 barrels of solariums for 5 liters of самогоon were given, we steamed gloriously. We left in the morning. At morning light, I saw him in his isolated garage (we helped him get there with the barrels) saw the 100th Land Cruiser, a snowboat and a boat with two engines. It turns out to be shorter, harvesting the gifts of nature, while the short northern summer is coming, harvesting. Fish is rare. has a monopoly. And all this goes out of his hands because the bosses are not the last to like to rest with him to fly on a blue helicopter. Secondly, he is a chick. Small people, they can do anything. Only his wife with two senior students helps him, and his daughter in Khabarovsk is studying at some prestigious university for economists. I asked him, and you do not want to move to the city, you have a lot of money. He looked at me so surprised and asked, “What is it?”
I looked at his farm and realized who of us was really a chick...

[ + 48 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84298
 18.07.2013
“North Korea has announced the successful launch of a satellite into orbit.”
This news should start with the word “even.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №84297
 18.07.2013
Republican senator Lindsey Graham said on Tuesday that the United States should think about boycotting the Sochi Winter Olympics if Russia provides asylum to the author of leaks on US intelligence surveillance programs Edward Snowden.
Maybe Brejnev’s funeral soon?? to

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84296
 18.07.2013
to this
>I’ve been playing with my friends all night. In the morning, the guy, who from drunk, sorry, blew from the balcony in the middle of the night, worried about the fact that we were drinking tea, which is in the boiler for a couple of days. According to him, from him "the liver will break".

We have the same work: drinking, smoking, but not in McDougall! It is poison for the body.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84295
 18.07.2013
News on Drome: Published list of banks where it is not worth paying fines GIBDD
Comment: You are giving a list of GAIShniks that are not being offered in place!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84294
 18.07.2013
The official Vatican has promised to reduce the time spent in the cleansing place for all who subscribe to Pope Francis’ microblog on Twitter. As stated in the Vatican, an indulgence with the help of “Twitter” can only be obtained by honestly following the tweets of the Catholic Church’s predecessor in real time.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84293
 18.07.2013
I bought a car and a friend gave it :)
I propose to start with the Chinese straight-circuit glue, and the Chinese same discs (the ohered size of the nigra-style). The curtains are of all kinds: a bench (it can be welded from a gesture sheet), neon, xenon, some other fun gas, clear stickers there, pedals, a zero toner. The ass, the ass must be raised (well or lower everything, but then you do not drive to the lake, and not clearly the norms for the man to be lowered). Oh yes, chip-tuning, I’ll help if anything, I’m a culhacker at all. The sprinkler (two), the obligation of Sparkl. The mirrors are shiny, like chromium. A bunch of antennas can be removed from the written radio intelligence complex (well or down). I also suggest selling your kidney and buying a carbon cap. Well, and of course, Shildik "GT", that everyone would understand that a normal person, not a bad one. And most importantly, acupuncture. Put a healthy barrel on the entire luggage compartment and the rear seats. But there is one problem, I will have to listen to fucking rap, but what to do, the image is more important.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84292
 18.07.2013
to this:
Video recorders with a impact sensor.
xxx: I need to add to the instructions: "If you want to save the incident, but forgot which buttons to scratch, give a scratch on the body of the registrator."
It will become violet.! to

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84291
 18.07.2013
I want to sit home and raise our children.
In view of your view of the world...
WOW: Yes, the kids will be happy to look at him... with that eye that doesn’t shake.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №84290
 18.07.2013
Love is...
...to listen to his claims, to think "Poor Rabbit, you need to better take care of him" instead of "How this goat borrowed me".

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №84289
 18.07.2013
At work, we constantly listen to the radio, listen to everyone and the colleague gives a good thought. In short, it is necessary to issue a law, the essence is that if the song is less than 4 words, then the performer should be burned, because they were burned.

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №84288
 18.07.2013
g1zmo (22:31:06): By the way, do you want to guess the place in the house where you haven’t been looking for more than a year?
max_im (22:31:19): I don’t have such places))) I have 1 bedroom))
g1zmo (22:31:26): and under the bath for a long time?
g1zmo (22:33:02): where did he go
g1zmo (22:34:48): did you not suck there?))
max_im (22:35:31): I found a swimsuit under the bathtub that I cleaned up there in the late 1990s...
g1zmo (22:35:39): with cartridges?!?! to
max_im (22:35:42): and
g1zmo (22:35:51): I am going to you

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna