bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №85307
 08.08.2013
to this:

I live in Vienna.

and? I live in Russia,

I live in Beijing. On lighthouses, cars, bicycles, pedestrians and other participants of the movement all pop. Cars can be parked anywhere. I myself was driving with a private taxi driver who took me over the one-sided bridge through the Hayway to meet the traffic, the signal of the opposite. Everyone is signaling each other, but no one is paying attention to anyone. Parking Chinese can only with the help of assistants, people standing on the street and screaming to them where to turn the wheel. The back mirrors are not used. There was a case when on the parking lot of a expensive hotel our guy sent these helplines and parked himself, when he got out of the car, he heard each other say, "Strange lavois (strangers)." How do they park in the mirrors?

[ + 45 - ] Comment quote №85306
 08.08.2013
111: Have you already given up the site?
2nd: Tomorrow
222: The City of Tomorrow
111: I remember how we were photographed after surrender, right away. This is worse than photocopying a photo in a passport. Then we had to write up, we were straight with the finger, where, and one was still written wrong there.
111: and here after the playground, a few hours of waiting, surrendering the city, then going to the gathering with the receipt, and all this in the heat - what picture can come out?
Probably, gaiters so and distinguish - who bought the rights, and who gave. If the mouth is caught to the sting, it means that I gave up myself.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №85305
 08.08.2013
Tatiana
It makes sense to send them to you. ;)
Tatiana
by Change
Tatiana
Yes to?
Alexander is
No is
Tatiana
What will you prove?
Alexander is
Here is the cross.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №85304
 08.08.2013
When I was a kid, I was afraid of spiders.
And then I grew up and realized that I had other problems.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85303
 08.08.2013
How is it?
Yes, at work there was something.
Thesis not written
Q: A lot more?
In my opinion, all

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85302
 08.08.2013
Hello to you! Who will stay with Farsh? Will you be home before you leave?
My cat’s name is Paštet.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №85301
 08.08.2013
The computer turned off. I immediately shook it up and took it to the balcony, wash it out and see what happened to it. And my mom from the kitchen screams: don’t throw it out, it’s the light gone!!!))

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №85300
 08.08.2013
Write properly!"I sell a motorcycle in Kazan"! The motorcycle is big and it never gets into Kazan!!! to

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №85299
 08.08.2013
I will
" They wrote:
xxx: I found the focus of evil, on Novocheremushkinskaya street is a two-story building, where on the first floor of the Sberbank, and on the second post office of Russia.

This is FIGN. In Belovezhskaya in one building, the sberbank, the post office of Russia and the fifth. This is the hell."

In Barnaul on the Red Army Prospectus in one building: the Sberbank, the Post of Russia, the Civil Service and the Cadastre Chamber. This is where evil emanations can be seen with the naked eye!!! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №85298
 08.08.2013
They say that if you really want something, a wish will come true. In the morning, he wanted money and the visit of a beautiful stranger. At lunch, a neighbor called on the door and asked for money for vodka. It worked somehow the opposite.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №85297
 08.08.2013
The post of Russia is about to become a bank
Are they there, Pratchett re-read?

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №85296
 08.08.2013
>Where do you get these idiots?! to

Deep, straight from the ground, a large kidney runs. every 4 minutes. The girl is separated from her and through the subway and deep underground crossings falls upwards. She has a slim figure, a short dress in shorts and a bag in the spirit of the latest collections, high heels and painted blonde hair. She can neither write nor read, but she has innate instincts, allowing her to find in the auras of visitors to solariums, beauty salons, CTs and rich men. Also, without special instruction, she can makeup, shop, make phone calls and list magazines.
The girl is perfect - she knows nothing and knows nothing, but the natural features of her appearance and the ability to quickly adapt to the habitat allow her to immediately fit well in life.
Scientists are still observing. They are not allowed to experiment, so as not to interrupt the process of digestion, because. In the light of increasing fertility, these girls are the ideal model of a modern young mother - they are attractive enough to arouse the desire of men to have such a beast at home, and the lack of brain, allows them to easily have children without thinking about how to raise and raise them.
Per soon the kidney will be open to the general public, and everyone will be able to wait for a small amount for the girl, with the necessary options and in the desired configuration.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №85295
 08.08.2013
to this:
A bright example of cognitive dissonance is a book called "How to Teach a Child to a Pot in One Day", consisting of one hundred and fifty-seven pages.

– – – –
As was noted in the cartoon "labs, tail... something there":
"It’s better to lose a day and then fly in 5 minutes!"

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85294
 07.08.2013
The epic conversation was...
I ask the senior CSyf:
Do you know how many time zones there are in our country?
Am... 9
Two in geography.
There is a wife:
and two!
I fall into a stupor:
There are two types of times: local and Moscow. Then already three belts, there is still Petropavlovsk-Kamchatsky where it is always midnight!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №85293
 07.08.2013
My quote is at the top! And there is a mistake >_<
This is not how I wanted to go into history.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №85292
 07.08.2013
Can PMS be a whole month?
YYY: No
YYY: This is character

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №85291
 07.08.2013
Is it possible to add to the deadly sins of the programmer the development of the Bank-online for Sber for legal entities and the portal of the State Services?

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №85290
 07.08.2013
Are you not in a very lyrical mood?
YYY :? No is
I saw a pelican eat a pigeon today.

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №85289
 07.08.2013
We went somewhere in the car to ride. I decided to make the girl pleasant, bought a flower, put it in a barbecue, closed it not to the end, you need to go to the barbecue, he opens himself and there is a flower, unexpectedly pleasant, in general, everything should go cool. And so I meet her, we go, I see the cat, I rush, I cut off the bumper... EPIC FAIL

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №85288
 07.08.2013
The life of a manipulative cat.

Once one of us two (I or my wife) enters the house (from work or somewhere else), the cat moves out for a meeting and begins to give a sound signal of the type of "myu". So he asks to eat. This happens regardless of the degree of satiety of the animal. If he is filled with food, he stops giving the sound signal. If the food is not served to him, then his small livestock after exactly five minutes still silences and behaves absolutely calmly. I usually come from work an hour before my wife. My cat loves to make me eat first. And then demand that his wife also feed him. A poor woman, seeing the grieving face of the animal, thinks that the ugly husband is back for the guitar, forgetting to feed the cattle. So the cat used to dinner twice. But sooner or later, all these murky tricks emerge. In the most funny way. First, when I come home, I don’t feed the wool, thinking my wife will feed afterwards. Then my husband comes home confident that I’ve already fed him. Thus, the roasted cattle was left without dinner at all several times. The moral of this fairy tale is quite simple - cats are still stupid people. But more sympathetic.

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