bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 37 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84267
 17.07.2013
Without a helmet, in a maid and shells on the dukati in paradise without a row are passed.

[ + 36 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84266
 17.07.2013
From Habr:

by PapaBubaDiop:
Think of London.
I go on a steam truck Kiev-Moscow, customs officers come to Kharkov.
No alcohol is? Looking at it, what is a notebook?
Check out for prohibited information.

I turn on the MacBook, the officer confidently ticks the mouse in the Finder.
I think they are advanced.

The customsman scratched the hat.
I don’t understand, but where are your C, D, and My Documents?? to

Steve Jobs was good.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84265
 17.07.2013
Previously, I was afraid that my daughter would break or drown my cell phone... Then I bought an anti-shock and moisture-resistant... Now I am afraid that she would break them something.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №84264
 17.07.2013
The size of the machine is said to compensate for the lack of size of male dignity.)
And in the owners of hamers and tacho, the member grows inside)))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84263
 17.07.2013
Dry up my wet kiss.
WOW : P
A wet mouth?
WOW: throw it
I am a wet pussy! Do not argue!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84262
 17.07.2013
From the news about the construction of a new micro-region from the Novosibirsk city website:
In the micro district there is no clinic (it is not mandatory for such a number of inhabitants), but there will be a church.


[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84261
 17.07.2013
Donimator: For example, I slept under a sovjenko for a week. Sometimes this shit threw me worms, I thought I was hungry too. I have a sofa there.
Fawkes: What is it?
Donimator: Well, I won’t go into the house. I have all the tools in the garden. I sleep under trees. And there the frogs gave birth to two, one of whom was eaten when he fell out of the branch, and the other worshiped as the hon gill don, the frog. His mom and dad regularly go out. And he, the gnide, feeds me.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №84260
 17.07.2013
YYY: Are you offended?
XXX: on fools, children and women are not offended
YYY: And what kind of person am I?
XXX: for all of you

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №84259
 17.07.2013
Cossack horses appealed to famous animal defenders, asking to defend their right to no longer pull any pidoas on their back.

[ + 29 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84258
 17.07.2013
Today is 400 years of the Romanov House.
WOW: Where is he?
[15:07:03] xxx: fuck... (facepalm)

[ + 47 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84257
 17.07.2013
XHH: I went to work, looked at the least side-by-side route on Yandex cards.
xxx: On the shore, still got into traffic jams just next to the poster "If you read this inscription to the end, you are standing in traffic jams. You could avoid this if you looked at the route on Yandex maps"

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №84256
 17.07.2013
Q: Can you send it to Kiwi?
Can I send you an ananas? narcissistic persistent

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №84255
 17.07.2013
this
-------- this------
Well, of course, we are not horses to walk around corners, so we persistently push the whole in the right directions.
-
The funny thing about your quotation is your own laziness, the inability to appreciate someone else’s work, and sincere debboebism.

*********
He grew up in Zelenograd (a city that began to be built in the late 1950s, according to the general plan). So, within the micro-area on that plan, pedestrian paths were not envisaged at all - they were laid out where people themselves flooded the paths. This is called - the wisdom of the planner, and to do "by squares, so that it is beautiful" - it is just dumbobism.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №84254
 17.07.2013
From a series of Freud mistakes:

XHH: My colleagues! Don’t forget Friday’s timelapse!

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №84253
 17.07.2013
Discussed on the new car pump slang:
Xeno: wrapped the hose with an isolant, started pumping again - it broke elsewhere
Xeno: inscription on the box: "made from materials used in the aviation industry"
Xeno: fearful for our aviation industry
Have you seen the proton's take-off?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №84252
 17.07.2013
Posts tagged with "files":
I am looking for <file name>.
WOW: Have you looked here? <direct link to the file on the offsite>
I’m swimming under a black flag, sir.
WOW: Well, if the flag is so black that it doesn’t allow you to download even a free file from the official website... well, float on.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №84251
 17.07.2013
It is a mistake to laugh at the poor, even if they are parliamentarians.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №84250
 17.07.2013
About the roads. Without fools

As you know, there are two problems in Russia... well, you know.
If the first trouble is an international phenomenon, only the concentration is different everywhere, then the second trouble has somewhere been successfully overcome.
I have a friend who has long lived in Japan, married a Japanese, daughter, a porcelain oriental doll, for four years. After the Fukushima accident, she flew to Russia with her daughter for a month or two, away from unknown. Once I sat with them in guests and her mother told me how she first visited there to see her granddaughter. She put a cassette from the video she was shooting at the time. During the first twenty minutes of the conversation, the landscape of Japan was in the background. She sat in the car at the airport, turned on the camera and directed it to the window of the car. And then I noticed that in all this time the camera has never shaken. No hole or hole was caught under the wheels. I can remember only one road on which the car is equally smooth, that is the Rublevo-Uspensky highway, although it is narrow, one strip in each direction, but flat.
And then a friend told me how in the second year of life in Japan she went to meet the parents of her future husband, who live somewhere in the province. At the wheel was the bridegroom, they drove to the Japanese depths on the same narrow and smooth road, on which two cars per hour hit, no more. A temporary sign flashed in front of him, a hundred or two meters later, another temporary sign and a sign with hieroglyphs. She already understood Japanese at the time, but still read with great difficulty, so she did not understand what was written there. Before the last sign, the young man began to slow down and looked at her with a clever smile, as if hinting, "Now let's have fun!"And then from the bushes at fifty meters from the road, a man jumped out of the bushes and, along the way, stretching and sticking his pants, ran to them. He ran to the car, prayingly lay his hands and began to worship, humbly apologizing for something. He had such a repentant appearance that he seemed to give him a sword and he would make himself a harakiri, getting rid of shame. She listened and understood: in front of the road was a small to our standards, but a huge to the Japanese, with the size of a basement, a fresh puddle. Signs warned that there was danger ahead. Until they had time to remove the pit, this Japanese man was placed on guard next to it to pay attention! Show drivers how to get around. And then he left for a short time by natural necessity, and could happen irreparable - suddenly the driver will not notice three warning signs, confused before the sudden appearance on the road and not oriented how to circumvent it properly!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №84249
 17.07.2013
A marriage that lasts less than a year is called a lease.

[ + 40 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №84248
 17.07.2013
From the tape:
"The Church of the Flying Pasta Monster has been registered in Russia"
Without comments...

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna