It is very painful to cross the road in red.

But that man does not eat mice and is not able to hunt them, cats do not notice.

He is not capable. You just never had a sharp Soviet mouse that you can knock on your ears in the kitchen. Well, or polishing in the garden, the mortality of which from a skillfully thrown spade is extremely high. Well, apparently, the cats slightly distinguish us from the Chinese and for every case suggest: and suddenly the owner is still a Chinese in the depths of the soul?

The Achilles foot of the weak is to go to the slope.

He: Why did you suggest going here?
She: Well, I didn’t know you would agree.

The best compliment as a hostess I received from my military uncle. I quote :
"The sort of you clean, in such even to blush pleasant"

A: The little tricks.
If you try to divide the number "pi" in your mind by the number "e", then the end of the working day will come noticeably faster.
Okay, I am at work, and the others are dead.
D is no. We share...

Asagi-shinsou: I hate the spells!! to
Garry : Why?
Asagi-shinsou: because there is everything through the synchronizator!!!! to

by JJ:
In general, if Russia is attacked by enemies, they will disappear during the bureaucratic documentary design of Russia as a defeated country :)

(from the discussion of the topic "Pearls of school teachers")

XXX: And at our school one day, a teacher of literature burned: she drawn on a board a scheme of relations between the characters of the Hero of our time. Between Azamat and the horse she put the arrow in both sides and wrote "dreams to have".

Why don’t you sleep at night?
Evil never sleeps.

Memories of childhood:
We argue with the brother, the arguments are exhausted and here the bank with a mortar, which depicts three pigs, hits the eyes.
And the child’s mind gives out the most terrible insult:
They are your relatives!

The awareness of complete failure came with years.

There are girls who get drunk and the next day think, Oh God, how corruptly I acted yesterday, but not mine... My diet, and all her thoughts the next day, Oh God, why did I drink so much yesterday?and "

XHH: solve the task. There were two crocodiles flying, one red and the other left. How much does 1 kg of asphalt weigh if a barley is 20 years old?
Is it 9.81N?
Ohhhhh no no. and 1 kg.)
WOW: Are you a fool? Weight in Newtons is measured.
Q: Are you a fool? This is a child’s task!
Weight, shit, is measured in newtons, and you are an uneducated thing!! to
The degeneration of pieces.
KJ has disconnected from your channel.

In the store, I picked the pelmeni, the saleswoman approached and said
What did they want?
and Pellets
Which to you?
I would have meat.
There is no meat!
What a good seller.)

The Habr:

It reminds me very much of my story (in a smaller scale).
In 1999 I got a laptop. Toshiba T1910 (produced in 1994) The case occurred a few weeks after entering the university. I found a week to go to the village with my grandfather. I had my own child’s room on the roof. I took the "new" iron with me, with the idea to configure, put Win 3.11 and include my grandfather to IT. Everything went well except the last one. The notebook had a dead Ni-Mh battery. Akkum did not give up, but bought a small 12-B. Salt and unserved. The village, the light often “hopes.” Two days later, I was called back to town. Then everything turned, university, move to another city, independent free life at 1000 km. From home, 6 years of universe, work, journeys... Family... in total 12 years passed unnoticed...
Last summer my grandfather called, and he said, “Listen, Sash, I think there are snakes on my roof, come, go shopping at sea, clean up the roof, cover up the roof...
On the roof I met, under the scroll and crust of a 200-meter winchester, Win 3.11 c 12-year ap-time and a launched "saper".

And how quickly to the story with a psychologist in the supermarket responded by baththerth all the lovers to climb without a turn!

Not repeating other people’s mistakes is wise, but not interesting.

I walk down the street, meet the grandmother.He stops me and asks:"Where is the morge?".
I pointed her to it.And again the question:"How can I cross this road?".
The final question:"Can you cross here?" (To the word, the main road, the place without a transit)
The first thing that came to mind and was sounded out: "Well if you need to go to Morga soon..."

XXX is
Egoor, will you love me hairy?
YYYY
Why women like to ask cavernous questions about thick, bald, toothless knowing the answer "yes";
I’ll pick up a tattoo for you!

Answer from MEI.RU

The question:
On the keyboard lighted the "Scroll Lock" lamp. How to turn off?

A great answer:
The bar will not help here either, because the light of this lamp has an outsider essence. You can order the costume and orchestra.