bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №79387
 28.03.2013
xxx: > Do you agree to get married to ZHZ? Next, Next, Next is ready!
It is fucking))
I forgot to remove the Yandex bar ;)

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №79386
 28.03.2013
Synthesis: Did I tell you the pearl that my venerable drag gave me when I saw my tiny tattoo on my leg? In addition to the standard murmuring in the style of "in old age you will regret," "you will not get married now, "you will not be taken to work," he deeply silenced and added, "and if you are invited to the ball?" And then I realized that I had made a colossal mistake, and the path to the light was forever closed to me.

[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №79385
 28.03.2013
SMS mail at 3 p.m. A message from an unknown number:
NN: What are you doing?
I: You are probably wrong.
The Dime, are you?

I am interested because I am Dmitry.

I : Yes. You are who?
NN: If you ignore me, I’ll call your wife and tell her that you’re hitting me.

I know someone needs to be saved. I try to call, but I am dropped:

Only a SMS! I am not alone.

Alone and fucking!! And then I realized that it was really necessary to save my wife and I fell asleep, switching off the phone... In the morning the SMS read MY Wife...............

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №79384
 28.03.2013
In Wikipedia, an article on the Krebs cycle, a mnemonic poem for remembering acids:

She ate acetate and obtained citrate.
through cis-aconitate it will be isocitrated
Giving up the hydrogen, it loses CO2.
This is alpha-ketoglutarate.
Oxidation comes - NAD stole hydrogen
TDF, coenzymeA take away CO2
The energy just appeared in the succinil.
Soon GTT was born and remained succinate
Here he arrived at the FAD - hydrogen tom needs.
The fumarat of water drunk, and it turned into a malate.
Here at Malat NAD came, hydrogen acquired
Shuka appeared again and quietly hid.
Keeping Acetate...

Santa Barbara is resting.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №79383
 28.03.2013
Bill Gates is funding "the condom of the future"
YYY: In this condom everything will hang.

[ + 62 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79382
 28.03.2013
About cousins and machines from the windows of cars:
- A taxi trip to the hotel in Kemerovo - the capital of Kemerovo region, in which Novokuznetsk is located:
A boring city that is much smaller than Novokuznetsk. In 20 minutes of driving, I found nothing interesting.
Taxi trip to the hotel in Novokuznetsk (the next day):
We are cut and my guides, equalizing with the offender in the neighboring row, with the screams "TY O%UEL?!" from all the back throws a CD to him in the window, which from there also comes another disk, which is immediately inserted into the magnetol. After a couple of crossings the picture is the same, but the "direct" has already led me. Upon equalization, the disks fly back... Both disks fly accompanied by the words "%you listen to something".
Raised to tears.

[ + 37 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №79381
 28.03.2013
I sent my dad to buy milk. She said "1 liters". He brought 2 packages. Because I was until the age of 50 convinced that milk, like vodka, is sold in half a liter.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №79380
 28.03.2013
Conversation with the Service Center (SC) of a large online store:
I: You sent me a SMS that you will send me a replacement tomorrow.
SC is yes. We deliver tomorrow.
I: What specifically will you deliver to me tomorrow?
SC: What you wanted.
I: And what did I want?
SC: You better know what you want.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №79379
 28.03.2013
xxx:I and a friend are now creating a survival-horror game, the action of which takes place in our city of Blagoveshchensk.
yyy: The main hero living on one salary took a mortgage on the outskirts?

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №79378
 28.03.2013
Goditsky: And in general, before I started reading this code, I thought men didn’t cry.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №79377
 28.03.2013
Akarimov: A friend bought my car out of a five-day bucket. The man from passing by the gazelle whispered: "You need to drive more often, fools, fucking!"

Akarimov: For some reason I get hysterically funny when I recall this scene. A real man from the comic book! Even his fist shakes in indignation.

yyy: This is someone from the municipality apparently) And on the passers oret, so that they would go more often and the snow dampen, then it is not necessary to clean)

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №79376
 28.03.2013
Cut off
I only have positive memories of the team.
Recall-between the dentist and the surgeon gave something to smell... "Something familiar, but I can't say what" turned out to be alcohol
Transcribing to another area smiled (we sit with bats in top clothes, around - children in cowards), the idiot doctor runs out of the office "what means day enuresis!?!?!?!?" immediately from another cabinet is quiet "and if I am taken to the airport, can I leave a parachute for myself?"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №79375
 28.03.2013
Invitation to go to Crimea on May in contact. On the meeting wall the address of the teacher to the person sending the invitation: Evgeny, I invite you to ACTIVE WORK ON THE DIPLOM and close the tails here in Odessa, and the Crimea will wait for you:))

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №79374
 28.03.2013
Grandma wants me to buy a car, I don’t want it, but Grandma wants more.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №79373
 28.03.2013
xxx: we have one codes on C#.and persistently calls it the grid.and also found a nest of cockroaches in its system.
WOW: I am not surprised. at all. of Nothing.

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №79372
 28.03.2013
In Germany, in my favourite beer store appeared the Fucking Hell brand beer. On the label, the devil with an angel in a tight position. Angels from above. I looked long, and then touched. The village in Austria, where beer comes from, is called Fucking. Hell in German-speaking countries is a light bitter beer. Marketing though!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №79371
 28.03.2013
Xy: You are the same man
Xy: You have to do what you want.
Xy: But to want you have to do what you have to do

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №79370
 28.03.2013
Description of Dublin:
The price of TianDe cosmetics is determined by its manufacture in China, cheap workforce and direct sales system. Tibetan recipes and natural raw materials - the basis of the quality of products, the shooting for violation of technology - a guarantee of quality, the company's representation in the EU countries - its confirmation.


[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №79369
 28.03.2013
Historians and linguists have found in the biometric passport model approved by the Cabinet a mistake in the name of Ukraine in Arabic, where the country is called Urkaina.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №79368
 28.03.2013
We play in "Activity", in the cafe, I need to explain to my partner the word "clone".

I: The series was like that, Brazilian.
She :...
Oh well the series!
She is Brazilian?
I : Yes!
She: I do not know!
I: Okay, let’s act differently! Dolly’s Sheep – What did they do with it?
I don’t know, they’ve been cut off.
I : No!
Is it allowed to eat meat?
I: Yes I am not!
She was dismembered?
I: Well no! What did you do with the sheep Dolly?! to
She: (in all the coffee) Was it wasted?! to

After that, all the people around us, including us, fell into a hysterical whisper!

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