I like to go to the market.
Mandarin at 240 and хурма at 160. You are 500.
It gets 400!! to
Give him 400.

Our teacher asked me what my favorite animal was, and I replied, “Fried chicken.”



She says it’s not funny. But she was wrong because everyone else in the class laughed. My parents taught me to always tell the truth. I did so. The fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my father about this, and he replied that people love animals very much. But I too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.



The teacher sent me to the director’s office. I told him what happened and he laughed too. But then I told him not to do that again.



The next day, my teacher asked me what my favorite animal was. I said a chicken. She asked – why? I answered because it can make a fried chicken. She sent me back to the director’s office. He laughed, but told me not to do it again.



I do not understand. My parents tell me to be honest with everyone, but the teacher doesn’t like being honest. Today she asked me which of the famous people I liked the most.



I answered “Colonel Sanders.” Guess where I am now...

In the evening, my wife and I are both.

She: I suddenly understood something.

He said: If I had not been born, you would have married another.

All is

The society would be perfect if all politicians were sitting where they should.

One of my acquaintances, unmarried, just over thirty, was taken on vacation to the other end of the city. Where it rarely happens. And here Nadia sits on a bench next to a small bowl and eats ice cream with strawberries. Suddenly I watched something happening near her. The company of boys mocked over their peers, pushed him to the ground, calls. Of course, she did not resist, dropped the under-eaten ice cream, intervened, dispersed the hooligans. Someone even got a bag on the back. A boy of ten or eleven wiped his broken nose with a stretched cloth and thanked him.
and thanks.
Not for what. How to find your parents? Can I call my mom?
Nadia really called, but her mother was strange - she said she could only come in an hour or a half. Well, what to do, my acquaintance didn't give up, took me to the cafe for lunch. Sitting cracked cakes with peaches, a salad with crab sticks, and moms are not. The boy, whose name was Vitaly, called her back, but the parent asked to give Nadia a telephone and told her to take her son to the center of the city if possible, and there he will wait for her. Not a small. Nadia agreed, but from the conversation immediately understood that Mom would not be soon. And the guy got something at all, rattled.
It was a pity for him, so my friend took and for some reason pulled the upset child into the park. This park she could not tolerate, because she walked there all the time alone, and people around the opposite with someone. Hope liked it this time. Riding a carousel, feeding a duck and swallow, bought Vitaly sugar cotton and chips. In return, he told me a lot of interesting things. With jokes, they reached the center. They sat on the bench, laughed, talked with their feet and suddenly the boy shouted:
Aunt Nadia, Daddy, Daddy is coming!
Nadia turns her head in the indicated direction and dies like a thunderstorm. Why is? Because she saw her colleague on the former job, in which she was in love, but was afraid that she would not find a common language with his son from his first marriage, because she did not know how to communicate with children (there was no experience), so she did not respond to his steps. It turns out, the boy's mother could not ask from work and called his ex-husband, who after this incident a couple of years later became Nadine husband.

This is a story about adulthood. The guy leaves the parent home, successfully overcomes life stages (socialization - rabbit, work - wolf, household difficulties - bear), and then meets a woman who deceives and destroys him as a person.

I met a former classmate yesterday. In general, in school he was thick to horror and constantly ate all sorts of bulls in class. It was called a bubble bubble.



Not seen for 10 years, somewhere I only heard that after school in the gym began to walk with disastrous force. Sitting on a diet, hit the sport.



So here. I walk around the house and see the car standing up. The driver and so and so - in no one.And there is a guy fit, healthy, like a closet. He raises the “six” from behind and he moves safely forward.



Then I go to the bakery – baaa! There is a bubble! Fat as hell. It is worth eating.

In our time, to turn out, you need to be not a bulb, but a bullet.

I remember a case from school. He was in a coma after an accident. We all worried about him, we went to visit him, it was terribly difficult to see him, filled with all kinds of tubes, sensors, such unemotional, inanimate... The doctors asked just to talk to him on ordinary topics. One evening I sat in his bed and told him about the news from school. And then it came out: "By the way, you gave Cole your joystick, probably you will be uncomfortable to know that he broke it...". That same night a friend woke up. And when the doctors brought him up, his first phrase was, “What did he do with my joystick?” At the end of the day, the whole class was thrown into a new joystick.)

I was interested in one: why if you believe in God, then it is serious, and if in Santa Claus - turn your finger at the whistle?

Aaa: If you ever have to defend yourself with a baseball beat, put a socket on it, if the attacker tries to catch it, he will just take off the socket and he will have to try to catch the beat again.



bbb: You can rub her with vaseline, and then he will scratch it out every time, and if he's shit, he'll get to touch it.



Could I have another self-defense teacher?



ddd: I am another self-defense teacher. I agree with my colleague, you need to mock the shit.



A bit too?



DDD: What kind of bite?

Political errors are always corrected in red.

I read in one social network:
A doctor who works in one of the local hospitals. And here, she enters the office to another doctor (he is a urologist), and the one on the screen has a huge male penis in the cut, and some points shine on it. And he clicks in one point with the mouse, then in another...
She asks, are you preparing for the operation?
He looks surprised: No, I will reserve a seat on the plane.

When I said, “I want to be in shape,” I didn’t mean that.

Hello, this is Sergei from work.



yyy: Hi, but I have a boyfriend, and he recently got kms by hand, I love him very much if you want to communicate with him.



Okay, hello, I understand that you are strong, but she took my charge yesterday and I wish she didn’t forget her tomorrow. If you have to fight for it, leave it for yourself.

I had a good friend with a girlfriend. He was friends with the girls regularly, but with this straight stood for a long time. Angela was a prominent girl: cute, with a good figure and a factory, cheerful and broken temper. Angel's soul demanded the celebration with envious persistence and, accordingly, they regularly visited with my companion various entertainment and entertainment establishments.

And one day a call from him, the clock in the area around six o’clock:

Hello to Pacifistwar!

Hello to Col!

What are you doing now, free?

“Yes, I’m wandering here in the Pyramid area while I’m free, but later in the evening, there’s some work to do. and what?

“Yes, we sit here with Angela and her friend at the Sudden Encounter cafe. I decided to call you to make it more fun.

“Why not go and meet Angelina’s girlfriend? Moreover, this event was probably initiated by the female part of Colina’s company.

“Yes, in principle I can come, eat dinner with you and support the company with a conversation, but I won’t drink – in the evening the work is urgent. If you do, I’ll be with you in 15 minutes.

“Now I’ll find out,” said Cole and left for the meeting.

“Come here, and we’ll see,” a few minutes later, my friend gave me good.



Fifteen minutes later, I was already sitting at the table, frankly looking at the menu and Nadja’s tip. Nadia turned out to be quite a normal, cute girl without visible obstacles to arranging her personal life.

They ate, talked, laughed and drank. All two hours the company tried to incline me to alcoholic drinks, but I really had important affairs in the evening, and I remained unwavering.

At the beginning of the ninth Nadia was going home and I naturally called to take her away.

In the car, as an honest and decent gentleman, he made a couple of fun light hints to continue the evening in a different setting - a little later, as I settle up with evening affairs. But Nadia, as a clever and decent lady, subtly, but unambiguously made it clear to me that my erotic lamentations will not go on today.

“No, no – no is it! "I was not upset at all and continued a non-binding secular conversation.

After a couple of common phrases in the girl suddenly as if something had changed. Trigger served as my question about what she was doing.

Nothing anymore now. I’m going to the Czech Republic in a week.

to rest?

No for ever! In the PJ.

Oh oh, this is yes! And why? I wondered, surprised, that in the course of two hours of lively conversation in the cafe, this topic never emerged.

Thro the rest of the way to Nadine’s house, and this is twenty minutes, I listened to a monologue about how badly in Rossi, how well in Europe, how in the sleepy Siberian feathers do not understand girls with a subtle mental organization, what we have heavy, dark, toxic and ignorant people, what in Europe are light, light, tolerant and intelligent elves and other, other arguments of the adepts of the squad.

What are you going to do, where to live, for what to exist? I was only able to put some provocative question into her hot monologue.

My old friend has lived there for many years. He has long called me to himself, but I just decided, without blinking the eye, without thinking for a second, Nadia shared, - almost a year of documentation.

Well good luck! - We have already come to her home, and I saw no reason to communicate further with the already practically foreign woman, who is waiting for a friend in the Czech Republic. Moreover, I had to go to finish work for today. and happy!

Of course, to ask her phone number, I didn’t even get into my head. To try to incline to betray a lady, who will soon go to a friend abroad forever and, so hot and passionate about it, it is such an adventure. Just a fan, let’s say. I have never considered myself such a fan.

She went to the failure of the typical Khrushchev panel entrance, and I moved on.

*** by

About a month later, I accidentally met Angelou in one of the shopping centers. They stood up, spoke for five minutes about nothing, and almost said goodbye, as Angela suddenly asked:

Didn’t you look at Nadjuha? Remember with whom you were in the “Sudden Meeting.”

No, a normal girl, nothing like that.

So why didn’t you call her then? He says that even the phone did not try to find out! And she made me all ears about you afterwards, Angela spoke to me with some reproach. I was very upset with the girl, her self-esteem was so low.

And why should I have her phone, if she went to the Czech Republic, to her old friend? ! to I shrugged my shoulders in confusion.

What is the Czech Republic? ! to What kind of friend? ! to She looked at me like a half-stupid girlfriend. - She never went outside the country, and her friend would be you, if you had the courage to ask her for the phone!

“It is you who ask her what kind of Czech Republic,” I rejected from dirty insinuations, “she told me all the way home without stopping, with what joy she will leave our unhospitable Siberia and fall into enlightened Europe. A year, he said, documents were made.

- Now she was not going anywhere, and she did not go anywhere, - having made a surprised expression of the face, Angela spoke unexpectedly, - where she lived, there and lives. Okay, I know from her what she invented for the Czech Republic.

Hello, send her to me! I said goodbye.

*** by

The next meeting took place weeks after two, when Kolya and I came together to play billiards, and Angela clinged to him.

Naturally, almost immediately the conversation went to Nadia and her Czech Republic. Angela told me that she spoke to a girlfriend and she fully confirmed my story.

But why, why why? ! to It was above my understanding. Why was all this ridiculous story? Especially if she wants to continue communicating.

Angela graciously and a little confusedly looked at me as they looked at a good, kind, but not distant man:

Are you really not understanding anything?

No of course.

So you can act faster!

To warm up! I could not foresee such a turn.

Can I give you her number?

No thank you...

Even the right path can lead to an impasse. But that would be the right impasse. What an impasse.

This year is so busy that if you buy a lottery ticket, you can lose an apartment.

xxx: adopted the law on LGBT propaganda⁠⁠



YYY: I only have one question about this law. In how many days from the moment of its signing will life in our country be better?



ZZZ: It was better

Recently, a solid man in a costume came to meet with Munich in order to order a car. From the details that came out during the meeting - for the wife. Of the unpleasant details that came to light during the meeting, there were several accidents. The wife has already broken a couple of cars: cars in total, the wife was decorated with a slight fright and a relatively slight blow of the seat pillow in the area of makeup.

After hearing the client’s wishes, I struggled to hold back the rest of the meeting:

Can I get a car with a strong pillow? And if it’s broken down, would it get normal?