bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №12723
 20.11.2008
Medvedev’s speech always began with the words:

"I was asked here to say..."

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №12722
 20.11.2008
In the evening I call all my colleagues at work and at 17:45 I buy any blue chips for all the money. At 18:00 the guys from the central bank start working, investing your money...
And so on, day by day...
A fool is not a fool, but I have my modest 10% a day..."

I wonder, where did the financial crisis come from?by D.A. Medvedev

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №12721
 20.11.2008
1st :
The Hearing. I go on a ride with a girl. I can’t catch any more. Explain how that is?
2nd :
There is hell. See also
2nd :
You are standing.
2nd :
and Dharma

and Dharma

and worshipped

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №12720
 19.11.2008
We go out on the street with a friend. Polar night and dark. We can see in the house in front of the windows at the level of the 5th floor hanging "Altayatz", the facade is doing repairs. On the skyscraper lights - shut up dark! The friend says:
And Splinter Cell.
We get closer, and another one comes down from above, too with a fanar.
Playing on the net.

[ + 80 - ] Comment quote №12719
 19.11.2008
by Steel_Cat
This modest calculation.

andquot; 1 One human cell contains 75 MB of genetic information.
2nd One sperm contains 37.5 MB.
Three One milliliter contains about 100 million sperm.
4 is On average, an ejaculation lasts 5 seconds and is 2.25 ml of sperm.
5 is Thus, the capacity of the male member will be equal to:
(37.5MB x 100M x 2.25)/5 = (37 500 000 bytes / sperm x 100 000 000 sperm / ml x 2.25 ml) / 5 seconds = 1 687 500 000 000 000 bytes / second = 1 687.5 Terabytes / s"

It turns out that the female egg can withstand this DDoS attack by one and a half terabytes per second, missing only one selected data package and is the world’s most offensive hardware firewall.

[ + 53 - ] Comment quote №12718
 19.11.2008
Alexander is
11 new topics for Cosmopolitan magazine:
1st Strings or Tango: 306 new arguments for and against
2nd New car: how to choose a plush mouse
Three Sex on the beach: how to shake the sand
4 is You and your best friend: why not?
5 is Health Secrets: Learn to Breathe
6 is Business lessons: how to profit from a husband's betrayal
7 is The washing machine: Easy Care+
8 is Still, Nietzsche or Schopenhauer: choose a name for a puppy
9 is Fashion trends of the season: what should hang on the rope from the tampon
10 is 5 places where you should not take a vibrator with you
11 is How to ride a jeep.

The Angel
Is it December number?

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №12717
 19.11.2008
Tagged with: Prv. You are doing?
I watched Madagascar 2. so great
I am Silent Hill.
It is bluish :D
These are the future mothers.
These are the defenders of the homeland.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №12716
 19.11.2008
and XXX:
Good night to the rabbits and foxes!and ;)
YYY :
Thank you very much, but I’m more accustomed to crocodiles.

[ + 70 - ] Comment quote №12714
 19.11.2008
In the Ikea on the lumber in the zoo store, the inscription on the aquarium: "The fish is alive. She just likes to swim"
I look up.
One fish swims up.
I watched her for 5 minutes.
It is really alive.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №12712
 19.11.2008
"A combination of pleasant and useful"



A wise man is one who can combine what is useful for himself with what is pleasant for himself.

Others...

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №12711
 19.11.2008
In the cold November days, it is especially pleasant to remember the summer heat.



So, July, the heat, Moscow Metropolitan. The smell of sweat is so thick.

It sets salt on the glass. Passengers are compressed so that "no birth

It is not ". I am in a saraphanchik length "as long as my mom allows". stood

Back to the seats. Suddenly I feel somebody chewing on my thighs.

Specifically, in the place where they are attached to the body. and

touching is not a hand, but something like a brush or a pulp for powder.

Behind the back a strict old voice: "Vasya!"... "Child, what,

Do you think?" Again the touch. "Thanks to you!" and turn back.

There is no possibility! Finally, the "Bibliothek" comes out immediately

Half a car. I turn around. He sits on his knees, at least 80 years old.

his portfolio a-la comrade Dinin, and in the portfolio a healthy mocked

The Cat. The beast from the whisper and noise, is sleeping, nervous and mashed with its tail,

Sometimes I get under my coat. Now it is ahead. "Thanks to you!"

The grandfather cried out. "I totally agree with you. But I am

I’m holding myself in my hands!"

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №12710
 19.11.2008
Due to the financial crisis, the light at the end of the tunnel will be turned off.

for the purpose of saving electricity.

[ + 46 - ] Comment quote №12709
 19.11.2008
She: I do not love you.
He: [after fifteen minutes] And I made the raspberry tea.

[ + 49 - ] Comment quote №12708
 19.11.2008
The xxx:
Dear tenants, we inform you that from November 02 to November 4, 2008 it is planned to carry out works on the washing of glass by the method of industrial climbing.
Ask employees to remove cars parked near the building to avoid damaging them.

Be careful, people are falling!! to

[ + 54 - ] Comment quote №12707
 19.11.2008
SheLton
and van. Do you sleep?

xhead39x
Hi yes

SheLton
What is sneezing? =) is

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №12706
 18.11.2008
"Russia celebrates the 10th anniversary of the crisis of 98 with a truly worldwide scale!"

[ + 64 - ] Comment quote №12705
 18.11.2008
Do you know what’s the worst thing about modern children?
Are they modern? )
1 is no. In the 3rd grade, the lesson of Russian led, gave the task to come up with an antonym for the word DIRECT. Do you know what a boy said to me?
2nd :?? to
The indirect...

[ + 50 - ] Comment quote №12704
 18.11.2008
Russian vacuum cleaners are so tough that they can even whiten walls

[ + 55 - ] Comment quote №12703
 18.11.2008
And I want the Pilo-5 to be filmed in the House-2!!)))

[ + 57 - ] Comment quote №12702
 18.11.2008
Iznogoud: Did you hear that Max’s cat ran away?
Iznotsobad: No, when is it?
Iznogoud: 6 months ago
Iznotsobad: *ROFL* Fresh news
Iznogoud: Oh, So, we decided to give him a cat for his birthday!
Iznogoud: Only the same one who is able to climb the balcony to the upper floor, rape a neighbor's cat, eat a palm there and get back in the hands of the neighbor's girl from above!! to
Iznotsobad: oyaebou, cat O_o

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna