bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 58 - ] Comment quote №12681
 17.11.2008
vovixsw 13.11.2008 13:20
There are two major problems in the world:
The Somali Pirates
Non-refined nuclear waste
I propose to resolve these two problems by the method of mutual annihilation.

coral3000 13.11.2008 14:32
What about the radioactive Somali pirates?

[ + 59 - ] Comment quote №12680
 17.11.2008
Well, you know, I read the revelations on the subject I am a young worker, my parents did not help, and I have a car for $ 60,000, and you don't hurt.
Or this here.
"That is a good thing! I am a girl, 24 years old, weighing 50 kg, height 163, chest 3rd size, I have a red degree of engineer (in / o), I am studying in postgraduate and 2nd high school, I have a 2-room apartment 80 m2, I have a car and a salary of 35 thousand rubles, a quick promotion to the head of the department. Blonde, not scary, ready for sex with her loved one always, everywhere and wherever, I do not betray, I do not drink... I like to read books, walk, cook. Men, I agree, there are among you and worthy representatives of your tribe, but a minority of them. And such fools who spend all their time on Dota, Starcraft, porn and beer, complaining about the bad babes, small breasts and stupid eyes of your girls. You need it!!and "

Listen, I am 25, I do in the months a little more (eighth day, work for days, do not bowl dumb, in warcraft, etc. I’ve never played at all, I don’t waste money), but I don’t have my own apartment and car. Maybe I’m not doing that??? Do I do something wrong?
Though... Who prevents me from saying that I fuck you all in the mouth here, I ride a bandley, and I change girls every two hours.

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №12679
 17.11.2008
XXX: What a good program, this Punto Etsersruk!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №12678
 17.11.2008
Trall :
Where is Gene?
Trall :
Fucking T9...where is that narrow-eyed pitcher?

[ + 62 - ] Comment quote №12677
 17.11.2008
Ohhh: and again you are in classmates 200 meters a day, I will drop my pants and loose my naked red ass, fucking!
Oh, I am all trembling. From now on, my husband’s skin will come and give you his ass.
Let it go, let it go. I’ll open your account and let him see where you live.
Sasha...I’m not going to say anything to anyone...Better by pop...

[ + 7 - ] Comment quote №12676
 17.11.2008
Coming wisdom replaces departing health.

by Yuri Tatarkin

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №12675
 17.11.2008
The crisis today. The most diverse forums bore and discussions, and b

The designated topic. Here’s what they told me by the way.

The Astronomical Forum. Astronomers are a diverse people.

And among them, besides all scientific staff, there are also bankers,

and traders, and stock market analysts... Here is one of them and shared with

The real story of the people of our former minister, and now, the meaning,

Chairman of Sberbank.

This is the story, and now the story itself.



History of the closure of the wholesale currency exchange on ul. of Vavilova. by V

At the height of the crisis, Gref went to inspect the branches of Sberbank.

Moscow on the subject of personal review of ranks for contributions and other

Problems of. In the closest to the central office branch on Vavilova street all

It was active and sleepy. Sometimes a metal door is blown.

The remote end of the room.

What is there with you? Asked Greg

Point for exchange of large currency amounts, according to instructions

safe doors, armored glasses, remotely

Monitoring of the Branch Manager

and ah! Let’s see if people really buy dollars! said Greg

He stepped forward to the safe door.

From the first time the door did not give up, it seemed that someone was holding it.

From Inside. Greene shrugged stronger. The door opened unwillingly and in the door.

There was a British rose in a costume from Versace.

You are who? - asked Riga, looking with a professional side look at the

behind the back of Greg.

I am Gref with the inspection.

“I don’t care what kind of infection you have,” I broke him in a half-frase.

from the offshore cobra, here is an exchange point for

A decent client, not an infectious hospital!

The door clogged.

Greg was confused for a moment, and then made a decision.

- remove the door, close the point, put two operating boxes for

Acceptance of communal payments. He threw him over the shoulder of the manager.

Filial and jumped out.



http://www.astronomy.ru/forum/index.php/topic,44404.msg816665.html#msg816665

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №12674
 17.11.2008
Obama: You heard, I was elected president!

Secretary: I have heard it. Congratulations Mr President!

Obama: So much work ahead... No, I’ll rest on Saturday...

Secretary: You have a working day on Saturday.

Obama: Hmm... what about Sunday?

Secretary: Also a worker.

Obama: So that’s what happens – will I rest on the holidays?

Secretary: You will also work on holidays.

Obama: Why is it?! to

Secretary: Because you are a Negro, Mr. President.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №12672
 16.11.2008
The fortune of the people in the ability to attain... until the end...

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №12671
 16.11.2008
http://raketchik.livejournal.com/51383.html



A flying dog.



The incident occurred in a quiet September evening. As they say in the novels:

Nothing predicted trouble. It happened a hundred times faster.

What will you read.



There is one quiet street there. He ends up in one

A very lively prospect, and others - unknown. well w

Unknown, I’ve never been on that side. The fucking knows.

What there. Unknown is short.



On the one hand, the private sector, the fence, and on the other

The square is so natural and the houses there live further in the depths. and passing

part of. There are no trottoirs. Because no one is going there. Generally

The place is very uninhabited. No cars, no people, only dogs sometimes

They walk.



This means evening. and quiet. and unpopular. The Twilight. What is Darkness? This is

When it looks like it’s still light, but the small details are already gone. and here in

In the darkness, the lady walks through this street with a dog. A small one. species

I don’t know what it’s called, thick, scratchy and plushy.

Strong as a sardine. A! And these dogs, these detectives write.

Popular, in short, in a soft cover. More in the street in general.

and none.



And they go so far along the road. The dog runs on the roulette. Troy

the roulette is thin, in the dark it is no longer visible, and a complete

The illusion is that the dog runs on its own and the owner holds on.

A remote control with the same dog.



Well, they don’t walk in a hurry, the hostess on the phone la la la la, the dog

It smells shit, and there’s something on her (the dog, in the sense)

The side of the fence. And she crossed the road, and there in the bushes shurches.

And on this side, the hostess means hears someone in the phone. Everyone is busy

His own affair. The evening. and silence. The Twilight.



And here at this time, suddenly (as Captain Ezepchuk said, the fucking,

Alarm and the "rise" command always happen suddenly) on the other side.

A street where the unknown flies at such a good speed.

The motorcycle. A motorcycle, of course. He runs toward the prospect.



And then he passes by this pair quickly, and clings,

Naturally, there is some kind of motorcycle technological performance

Crossing the road is a truss of this roulette, that is, a guide.



The roulette from the housewife's hand is ripped out, and it is spelled (roulette, not roulette).

The housewife) somewhere there under the wheel (although the housewife is spelled too). A is

The dog pulls out of the bushes, and it begins to fly fast.

A remote (from the hostess, of course) motorcycle on this thin trolley.

As a blame on a ball. Making such giant leaps as we do.

Sometimes they show in allegedly documentary films about astronauts who

They allegedly went to the moon.



The motorcyclist did not even notice this. He continues implacably and

Rushing very fast. And here he jumps out of a quiet dark street.

on a brightly illuminated prospectus, and contrary to the road sign prescribing

moving only to the right, virtually not slowing down, through two

consistent lines of marking and four rows of movement, along a wide arc,

turn to the left.



A man there on the corner, who walked peacefully and did not touch anyone, and

The motorcyclist almost struck him down and repeated it six times.

saying to all who desire: “And he, in short, so hopes out... from there,... from

A pass, and after him... FLYING... (there the man made big eyes)... A DOG...

and fly...”



Well, the motorcyclist flies out, so on the prospectus and goes to the left.

The dog is naturally following him. Everyone is created,

of course, the complete illusion that it is a wicked little flying dog

He is chasing an accidental motorcycle driver. Everyone sympathizes with him.



And there, on the prospectus, a hundred meters away, near the school, there is a kiosk.

by Shaurma. There is even a bus stop, which was formerly called

The “School” is now called Shaurma. Everyone says this to the driver.

Stop the shrimp, shrimp! And to this kiosk at night comes

blue-white forde with flashes to bow the bird-haishnik shurms.



And right at this moment, a haishnik with a shaurma in one hand stands next to him.

The other hand holds the keys to the car in his pocket. He sees s

disappointment, as directly on him, in violation of all conceivable rules

Road traffic and human ethics, rushing at a great speed

The motorcycle. Trying to escape, apparently, from the pursuing him too in a huge

The speed of a dog.



Everything happened so quickly that the haishnik could do nothing.

I even managed to jump back. Just be amazed. I thought that now

The motorcycle crashed into him. The motorcyclist calculated everything.

a beautiful switch, putting the motorcycle first to the left, then right,

And the hoodie turned around.



Absolutely not a dog. What do you want? Aerodynamics, chassis

It is not cleaned, the height of the wheel is cut. The dog could not repeat.

The motorcycle maneuver is complicated. I flew right into the shore. well w

In the sense, in the haishnik, straight to him in the chest, but first of course in the shaurma,

He kept it in front of him, protecting himself from the motorcycle.



First the shark fell. He did not fall, he was strong. in the shell,

jumping out of the necklace from a hit on the strong chest of the haishnik, he slapped

The dog. But unlike the shaurma, the dog did not lie as it were.

I need to, and straight right away, with a hose, with sparks from underneath the nails, broke.

go away. But not back to the hostess, as you might think, but there,

Follow the motorcyclist. Then, a little later, I got upset.

Shaurmu, Rvanul and Haishnik, sown in advance in their blue-white Ford.



At that time, the motorcyclist, still not reducing the speed, ran like

A T-shaped cross with light. He apparently planned.

Then he went to his right, and he went to his right, and he went to his right.

The red car. Everything would be fine without a necklace.

The necklace without the dog apparently became quite uncomfortable, and he decided to stop.

This crazy run. Well, or maybe he decided to kiss the dog.

And when the motorcyclist started turning to the right, the necklace sank under.

The wheel was parked on the side of the truck and there fell.



This was enough for the motorcycle to lose control, it was deployed and

Throw it into the quilt. The motorcyclist flew a little further through the road.

part, and without hitting anyone, fell somewhere there, under the sign of "crossing with

The main road.” No one noticed the way through the shadow.

He had a small round dog like a sardine.



In fact, this is the whole story. The motorcycle was stolen.

A motorcyclist is in the hospital, and no one else.

was hurt. Oh no! Shaurma also had Haishnikova injured,.

It was scattered, of course, by wheels on the asphalt by soulless owners.

The Iron Horses.



* * * *



And in the hospital an investigator who was sent to interrogate on hot tracks

This unsuccessful thief of other people's motorcycles, funny speaking to the guard

The surgeon who examined the victim.



How will our client live?



And the dumb doctor, who is tired of the change from the jokers, is dumb.

He responds.



Will he fuck him?



How is it. Mente says. Not an accident. De-Té-Pé is a type.



That’s what you are, menta, all the time muddy, right? He talks like

Even the evil doctor. What an accident? He has all the injuries – a knock on his forehead.

But the ass is in the hole.



Meanwhile, “the pocket in the pocket”?



“In the sense of ass in the ass” means the whole ass of him is bitten. and you

I am talking about the DDR. He has no more injuries.



So, can I get him straight? Mention is surprising.



and AGA. weeks in two. How the rabies vaccine is cursed

Take it.



Is he still angry?? to



You are a fool, Mint. Go away from here, no time for me. Find a dog and bring it.

Veterinary certificate – take your emergency at least today.



The dog was never found.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №12670
 16.11.2008
Barrymore, what is this terrible wrath?! to

by Kirchner, sir

</PRE>

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №12669
 15.11.2008
You do not buy health, but pay for it.

[ + 40 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №12668
 15.11.2008
I disputed...

Accounting is roughly the same age.

The women. It is useless to argue with them – if they said that the certificate will be

ready on Monday at three, then remove them from the pastion earlier

Even the boss. They do their job, their salary.

They get employees on time, almost on time.

In fact, the ambulance... Started a dispute with the chief accountant of Sisadmin I did not

They fought, but they fought angrily. I entered the culminating moment when

red from anger administrator said: “Yes if I want, you pay today

Don’t give it up!” and knocked the door. Headbuck, the toughest of women

The accountant said, “Well, the hacker is not done.

The salary is already counted, all the papers are printed, that he is interesting

At that moment the door opened again, and the terrible black

admin's hand pushed a live curved mouse into the office!

Under the whisper of harsh women, instantly seated tables and chairs, admin

He released the mouse and went away, tightly clogging the door. I left the accounting.

Before I had no desire to play a role.

Saviour of wild mice. They saved them in ten minutes.

The expeditioners. But the mouse was still somewhere inside. Roughly

The insolent accountants refused to enter.

They demanded a sanitary station, a police station and a standard cat, which is somewhere in the world.

Lost (sitting in the server room and eating cream). We are not paying on that day.

I got, but it was fun.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №12667
 15.11.2008
The Armenian Radio:

Why does a woman not shake the hose after refuelling a car?

Where did she get that reflex?

Mishel

</PRE>

[ + 65 - ] Comment quote №12666
 14.11.2008
To the quote:

I am also a fighter for good and justice.
The evening just begins, at 10 a.m.
I go home from work, in front of the picture: a guy accelerating step goes to my side, behind him almost running two... One of the persecutors: she, wait seriously, let’s talk... Join me... : hey guys!!! You two are one... Let’s get two? The runner, without losing himself, stopped, turned over and turned away... He snapped as I suggested... And here’s what??? Mint-cocrazz-in time... It all hurts... I got home in the morning... all the rubbish was rotting... I quarreled with a friend because I didn’t come and didn’t respond to the tube calls... Conclusion: NOW THAT I DID BE??? and :(

Respect you if you don’t joke. Do you need? You are not a fool, but a man.

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №12665
 14.11.2008
The Clown:
The real Odin does not look for a second socks in the morning, he sleeps in it.
(They are! )

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №12664
 14.11.2008
I borrowed letters. The buttons "turbo" they remember, eski in the neighboring building...

My grandmother, in Soviet times the director of the largest gastronomist in Kremlinchuk (which is still almost alive), was able to raise and extract the square root on the bills!!! I tried to teach, but my grandfather gave me a calculator at the time.

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №12663
 14.11.2008
<ADvOKaT>: from the pomegranate juice so fucking turns
<Enemy>: That’s why you’re so...

[ + 61 - ] Comment quote №12662
 14.11.2008
How to remove super glue from the mouth and teeth?
2: He will leave. Clean and drink hot... Activated charcoal at the same time eat :-)
1: Yes, the coal must be crushed. Can I smoke?
2: Everything is possible! Fidelity still remains...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №12661
 14.11.2008
Yesterday I had a phone call :(
Do you want to light up the hotel?
0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0
Tagged: ha ha horse
Oh yeah, good, the sky runs by itself
WOW – Don’t tell anyone

c) Pepper


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