SMS from the employee:

Hello, Dear Vasily Timorych, I want to warn you that I will not be able to be at work today due to family circumstances, and please note that this is not related to my alcohol dependence.

A bit of aviation.
The 90s:
A civil aviation pilot arrived in Egypt.
Starts the cleaning of the aircraft - pleds, papers and other garbage.
Pilots forgot to close the cabin. Lie in an open place.
General declaration and other obligatory documents.
The CBS returns to the cabin and grabs his head:
There are no documents - love now will be complete. Cancellation of flights and other delights.
KC is a gray rough uncle who has passed through fire, water and other pipes.
The decision is made to bend the local service staff.
- Agreed with the local chief of the brigade, he builds all the fighters in a row on the runway along the Bordeaux.
The fucks! Do you blya take documents?
and no! No!
Look and Seek!
They sit in bags.
No to!
The chief of the brigade and the CBS are already walking in their bags and looking for them.
They find!! to
Sorry to! Sorry to!
Holi is sorry!
You have to fuck!

I went with a colleague to the garden to pick up the child. On the door a large announcement: "The fee for the UDO has changed". And the prices. Information for the wives of the convicted. It turned out "Institute of preschool education" encrypted. The Soviet model of thinking.

It turns out that it is better to be a domestic cat and lick your ass, but everything else is not *bet

for a cat to lick his ass - the norm
When you become a cat, you won’t worry at all.

Shamway: I go on the subway. Another advertisement at the entrance to the wifi pairs prejudice. Change the image on " customer reviews". I quote: "I delivered very quickly. Qualitatively and conveniently. Everyone is happy"
I thought a lot about the level of service :)

We recently had a show about vegans and children. One of the parents told me that she was vegan and her child was vegan. Somebody said that if you eat breast milk, you are no longer a vegan. Her face had to be seen.

Sarai was robbed... for the third time in the last six months, shit!
Q: Can you bring a dog?
The dog was also stolen.
YYY: How is it?
German, 8 months I can't find the third day anywhere.

I love the candles. Especially the smells in glasses. They smell fun, create comfort and a little warmth. There are also glasses that can be poured into. Which creates comfort and a little warmth)

Our eldest child spoke late, after two years. Before that, he was quite skilled in the language of signs. So, wishing to say “big” he pointed to the big finger, and “little” to “little”. A little later, in his sign language, the word “average” appeared... Well, you understood.
It’s been a few years, and so far my husband and I are expressing a clearly negative attitude toward anything – well, very, very negative! We look back and say "Well... Average".

x: We have the pyramid even cooler - not 20 work and 80 ballasts, but 2 and 88 respectively.
Q: And another 10?
X: This is the HR and accounting department. They are above work.

You are stupid.
In the sense?
What is “in the sense”? You have already gotten this with your “in the sense”!
In the sense?! to

There is a massive blood donation in the universe today. The blood camp was destroyed in the gym. I am standing at the entrance, waiting for a group. People often approach me and ask if I feel normal, or after giving up you are pale, eyes burned and look into space. I did not donate blood.

Evolutionary psychology claims that our ancestors were prepared to go hunting only when the chances of dying of hunger in a cave became higher than the chances of dying off the threshold of that cave itself.

I hate Mondays.

YYY: Today is Tuesday

XXX: hatred does not cease

The eldest son shows the younger a book with animals and comments:
And this huge beast with beasts is UltraLisk! A very dangerous mirror.
The Wife:
Did you agree with the file?! to

XXX is:
I’ve always been definitely concerned why in my case the Yandex browser tries to quietly use the camera when I log in to some resources, such as Ali.

YYY :
You know, there is such a marketing expression "consumer portrait"? Here the Yandex browser literally collects it.

Where am I? asked the man.
What a foolish question! and why do you all start with it? This is the receiving demiurg Shambambambukli. But now there is no boss, I am for him.
You are a canary factory! How are you talking?
And I do not talk. Just say a few phrases from the standard set. I have a large set. You rarely ask something original.
You are not alive!
You insulted me, if you want to know. I am a living being and I am proud of it.
and Erund. The plant canary cannot be alive! You do not eat or reproduce.
“How can I, according to you, multiply, if I am the only inhabitant of this world called the ‘Acceptance’?” The Division? I will not think!
You are not alive.
When you were still alive, did you multiply by division?
No of course.
Were you also dead? Closed the question.
No, they are not closed. You are not eating.
I eat. This is my way of eating. – The Canary knelt on her key.
What’s that food if you get caught up with someone?
Not someone, but Demiurg personally. Here are you, what are you eating?
The bread, for example. of wheat. It grows in the field. The sunshine shines, the rain waters, and here it grows.
Who do you think brings the sun?
The man thought.
“Well, you see,” said the Canary, “you, men, can’t do without all these conditions. You get food through your fifth hand. I am from the Demiurge. Who of us is more alive?

A question from a biologist to a conversation about the living and the non-living.

What is the difference? There are many interesting processes in nature. Mostly reduced to chemical reactions, but often - cleverly arranged in space and time. These processes just go by themselves, because they go, regardless of anything. According to physical laws, which at some abstract level know more or less everything (preservation of everything, playground with entropy, etc.)

And here comes man with his division into the living and the unliving. And he tries to embrace the immense by an intuitive dichotomic classification. We have cell cultures that have survived the people from whom they were taken for decades. The cells are alive, and man has long been gone. You can philosophize on this topic, but in fact, "living" and "non-living" are almost meaningless concepts, if they are applied beyond the domestic intuition.

Yesterday evening I walked to the shopping center for a parking lot, a guy aged 17-18 approaches the window and stands I didn’t notice him at first. When I see down the glass, I ask a guy what to do?

He - I'm sorry, maybe you need help to move, take away, or give me a cloth I wipe out the glasses, headlights...

Usually beggars and everyone there standing with signs pass or pass by.

I - No thank you don't need to like everything clean, the weather is dry, nothing at all.

He went to the side and almost cried, turned away, with his hands covered his face.

I’m standing, come, what happened to you?

He - I want, I don't need money, if you can, buy to eat.

I give 300 rubles go, buy to eat, and I think of myself either a narcissist or a quiet alchemy...

After ten minutes, he approaches and says a big thank you and shows a package where there was bread, kefir, cheeses like Wave or Friendship, spices, and so on.



I was surprised, to be honest!

I add.

Russian scientists learned how to obtain gold from coal.

zzz: As well as other hydrocarbons. The output of the finished product depends on the price of the dollar.