bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134401
 05.10.2016
1st Will migrants on Mars grow potatoes or limit themselves to powdered strawberries?
2nd With what frequency will the planetary gay parades be held?
Three One million displaced people are potentially five hundred thousand hidden GRU saboteurs and KGB agents. What if the dictator Vlad P. intends to hold a referendum on the accession of Mars to the Russian Federation (#MarsNash).
4 is Can Ukraine get a visa-free regime with Mars at least by the year 2513?
5 is Can Ukraine get a loan from Mars to serve its external debt?
6 is Will special scarfanders be produced for hipsters, so as not to wash their beard, or will it all be limited to an increase in the number of barbershopes?
7 is What are the acceptable losses of hipsters from suffocation during the Bono concert's open-air?
8 is Will the release of the new iPhone coincide with the date of its release on Earth or is there a temporary lag possible?
9 is Who would build buildings on Mars if all the migrants were to start up or selfie for Instagram? Will SpaceX use robots or Mexican gastrabytes for these purposes?

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №134400
 05.10.2016
A young man moved to a new apartment. We had to carry a 24kg gyrus. He put a pillow between the back and the back. I went by public transport. Then the underground transition had to be overcome. I go, holding on to the right side, and a grandmother is coming in front of me, hoping that I will stand aside. But I had a heightened mass, not only because of gyri - there was still some treasure. In short, she hit my shoulder and turned like a wolf. Then she snapped and struck me in the back right on the roof. How happy I was! And the cries of that grandmother were music for me.
°°•°•°•©

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134399
 05.10.2016
Those who are wicked, wicked, and wicked.

It’s cold on the floor, I’m not allowed to go to bed.
Husband: And I lay down my shorts and throw it on the floor. She protects them :crazy:

Buy a normal dog in the zoo! Dogs often develop arthritis to old age, just from sleeping on shorts on a cold floor all their lives.

[ + 21 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134398
 05.10.2016
Sows against caterpillars
The gentlemen who turn everything into a habit are not all that simple.
I have lived since childhood in a wonderful place, where summer nights are white, and in winter the sun rises at 12 and sets at 15. I went to school since the first change for a year. Then a few years of college in the morning. I have been working in the morning for several years. There is enough time to develop the habit of getting up in the morning. but. In summer, when the sun shines in the morning, I can easily wake up at 6 and 7. Be happy, happy and fun. And in winter I can’t even wake up at 8am – there’s no sun. No matter how much I sleep, I will be angry and dissatisfied.
Habit has to be. People work at night and day. Children have a strong influence on sleep. But how comfortable and joyful people are from this regime is another question.
The right to rest has not been revoked. In the topicstarter we talked about weekends. If a person wants to, he can fail in bed all day.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №134397
 05.10.2016
from the discussion news "Yalta will be guarded by cinologists with dogs and people's friends"
And in every rottweiler breathes the peace of our borders!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №134396
 05.10.2016
After returning home, he did not find a place for himself for a while... So he went around the house until a place was released in the neighboring yard.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134395
 05.10.2016
Measured the cat, around the pulse suddenly found three centimeters. We made a gourmet! Now let’s get the model!

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №134394
 05.10.2016
It was in 2000. I went to school in the afternoon and didn’t touch anyone. Externally not standing out - ordinary, slightly swollen, spotting in places, with an unimaginable hair color teenage girl. And here stops on the left of me a constipation with faces of Caucasian nationality (hereinafter LKN), looks out of it one and says: "Hey girl, we went catch." I say, I am not in school, they wait for me and speed up the step. LKN follow and persuade to walk, in the car they are four, I am going already afraid. Here one of them, apparently especially hot, comes out, grabs me for a T-shirt and tries to pull in the car, here I hear a scream. Through the road, a guy, maybe a couple of years older than me, unloaded the car near his house apparently, took a pipe in his hands and cried, "Nuka's hand removed from my sister until I picked out." Well, this LKN quickly let me go, jumped into the запорожец and dropped.

I didn’t even ask the name of my hero. Thank you for reading, you are a real man! 👍😘

PS: To be more likely to recognize yourself, it was in Irkutsk, near School 3. in the summer.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №134393
 05.10.2016
Sweaters or Sweaters are habits? No-no
Apparently, the "discovery" of the
Well, let’s try to get used to sleeping until noon like a frog.
Do not forget to sign off the results.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №134392
 05.10.2016
>>> Otherwise it is difficult to explain why they have so rushed to separate and so do not rush to return.

There was such an anecdote in the times of the USSR: two ships with displaced persons sail by each other, one from the USSR to Israel, the other from Israel to the USSR. On both vessels, passengers climbed on deck, pointing to the neighboring vessel and turning their fingers at the cave.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134391
 05.10.2016
dmpas: I’m still waiting for 1C to stop doing nonsense and become a modest extension to the emaks.
3 tequiles to this gentleman.

[ + 19 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134390
 05.10.2016
This is in the original quote. The kids grew up. Aries was simply a decent man and did not leave his wife, blamed only for not fit each other, with a baby in his arms until the need for it disappeared. Everything is banal and simple.

As a woman who has been in a similar situation, I will say that it is better to leave a aunt while she is not quite old, then she still has a chance to meet a person with whom she can build a relationship, even with children.
and a woman over 45 is many times more difficult, in addition, the children grew up and the husband left - she doesn't need anyone at all

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №134389
 05.10.2016
>> Two reliable methods are abortion and uterine extrusion.
And what you write also only reduces the likelihood of conception.

Castration, for the sake of symmetry. Everything on one side.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134388
 05.10.2016
XX: What are regular expressions?
yyy: These are expressions regularly pronounced by programmers in the process of writing code.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134387
 05.10.2016
Once long ago I thought about what I would do if I met my absolute twin (in appearance, biography, character, habits and a bunch of parameters). Would I be interested in talking to him? It seemed that yes. Now I realize that my copy would rage me, showing me all the shortcomings I have. I would be angry with everything in it: from the way I speak, to the way I walk, to the views of life. And the appearance I would not like either, although in the mirror I perceive myself normally.
by PS. Where did thoughts come from? Movies and books sometimes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №134386
 05.10.2016
A state that lives on the principle of "friends everything, enemies the law" is doomed to revolution.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №134385
 05.10.2016
There is an interesting story:
Having long inherited 2 apartments located next door (combined earlier by the parents) on the fifth floor, he placed his eye on the third, the last on the staircase cage. A few years later I bought it, without loans, but the point is not that. The fifth floor is a pleasant feeling.
One Friday evening I knocked on the door: I opened, three aunts standing with some literature and asking if I believe, would like to listen to some text. In general, I send them culturally and close the door.
After a while, I knocked on the second door. And then I mocked what was happening. With a stone face as I first open - the aunts look over, get lost in words, begin to look back and be baptized. I take them culturally to the same place, and I run to the third door dying of laughter.
What do you think? After a while they will knock!! It is for some reason they knock :) I open, I wanted to joke, and they throw their maculature with a whisper running down the stairs, yelling about something unclean, etc.
Now I’m waiting for postmen, correspondents, some other figures. I wanted to clean the door with my wife, now we wait :)))))

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №134384
 05.10.2016
“Mom, there will soon be a parental gathering at school, and I would like to announce the prepared information attacks on me.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №134383
 05.10.2016
I had my first husband – my graduate scientist, my father’s peer. When I started my relationship, I was 23, he was 56. Literally every dog in the department discussed how I wanted to do a scientific career through the bed and how I wasn’t ashamed.

Four years later, we officially got married, and discussed him immediately - married, say, a young and naive, so that she would then bear pots for him, trick.

And you say that the stamp does not change anything. ha ha!

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №134382
 05.10.2016
X: Hentai is something?
YYY: worse
The Russian football?
YYY: is better

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