bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130039
 28.06.2016
Aaa: Overall, I have recently started to notice that the world is much brighter than it is depicted in video games. What fucking?

Try to wipe out the monitor.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №130038
 28.06.2016
The claims of the teacher about the water in the diploma I understood when I was unable to ignite the fire with unnecessary after protection papers.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №130037
 28.06.2016
I was 25-26 years old. She worked in the university ( library). One day I had to disassemble a ton of new books and distribute them to different departments. That is, actually sit for a long time and lay down books on certain signs in several stacks. Work is not difficult, but boring. Two students were identified to help, Vova and Andrey.

In the fact that Vova was yesterday’s schoolchild, though under two meters tall, I had no doubt. And Andrei seemed to be an adult. I was sure that it was almost my peer who finally decided to get a cork. Then, in the conversation, it broke out that Andrew had to do something with his father's help, because he himself will become a major only in the spring. Since then, it’s much easier for me to believe stories about people to whom no one gives their years.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130036
 28.06.2016
I adore our area. Now I was walking with a child and a woman with potatoes approached me. And she tells me—you just don’t turn around sharply, but look at how this potato looks like the gentleman sitting on the bench.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130035
 28.06.2016
The DNA of humans and bananas is 50% identical.

I am tomato...

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №130034
 28.06.2016
Karochi Iceland crushed the English, then the French, then the Germans, well, in the final, it has already played the Portuguese without any tension -) The main thing is that the Vikings don't end the flies.


[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №130033
 28.06.2016
A short joke full of daily pain for a professional:

by LOGO.doc

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №130032
 28.06.2016
Of course, I and my kids (Dad, but why does my aunt have such legs? This is a demon that will eat you if you do not eat it)) try to understand the characteristics of this disease. I’m sorry for you until I joined you.)

You have a family tradition of not raising children.
You were not raised, and yours too.


[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №130031
 28.06.2016
It would be fair if in the final of the European Championship Wales played against Iceland - only there the real Europeans still remain!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №130030
 28.06.2016
Oh, fucking... In connection with the friend, I remembered the story of ten years ago. I already had a boy haircut at the time and to the fact that I am often confused with a guy from the back, I got used to that moment. Usually it is enough to turn to a man at least halfway to make him realize that I am a woman. The type of face, the type of figure, the chest, the voice... So, I sit in a square on the bench, I don’t touch anyone, in the player I curl. The man fits, talked to him on a completely neutral topic, she didn’t even remember, and suddenly he asks, “Tell me, and why do you paint?” Do you use female spirits? Are you blue? Of these, yes?" I didn’t understand... I didn’t understand at all. Standing up in all my 180 cm, pulling out my 2nd-size chest, - Are you sure I'm a guy? And in response: "Boyfriend, you would wash the cosmetics... Or even to little or no...". Wasn’t that the companion?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №130029
 28.06.2016
GMOs, not GMOs... In fact, in modern realities, the lion’s share of agricultural products has already been modified. The manufacturer has made a choice.
And here is the second moment. In modern realities, the lion’s share of residents of the Russian Federation is poorly able to pay for housing, debts on loans and buy a minimum set of pieces. Because the majority of their income goes stupidly to the sacrifice. It doesn’t matter if this potato is GMO or not. Here you pretend - a pound to take or a couple, but if a couple - then the bread is only half a bunch. Somewhere so.
And getting stuck in expensive stores with the label "GMO-free" can be a tiny percentage of the population, which, in essence, does not affect the question "Do you produce GMOs or not?"

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №130028
 28.06.2016
The most funny thing is that the other herb is actually much safer than tobacco.

/////////////////////////////////

It is not funny. It is obvious. It is prohibited (
We’re talking about peters, aren’t we?

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №130027
 28.06.2016
This so-called "Friendsman" - is he not from the same "Fashion Patrol", whose representatives on the street came to people about socks with sandals?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130026
 28.06.2016
Xhx: Well nothing to yourself, why do you call this guy in the comments of Andrew, and me never called so :(
YYY: I don’t even know. You deserve it, Michael. and ;)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №130025
 28.06.2016
The woman’s bag is much larger inside than outside.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №130024
 28.06.2016
After World War II, Theodore von Karman (Hungarian physicist, one of the founders of aerodynamics) gave lectures in Pasadena (California) and Aachen. This great scientist advised several airlines and could fly over the ocean for free on one of the aircrafts of such a campaign.
For an elderly scientist, such trips were sometimes exhausting, but the situation was saved by the fact that in Aachen and in Pasadena von Karman read very similar courses of lectures.
And one day, when he flew to Pasadena, von Karman took the Aachen Context and began his lecture. After some time in the faces of the students, he realized that the material did not reach them, and only then realized that he was reading the lecture in German.
Von Karman addressed the audience:
“Why are you silent?”
After a short pause, one of the students confessed:
“Professor, do not be upset! Whether you speak German or English – it doesn’t matter, we still don’t understand any more.”

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №130023
 28.06.2016
There is 1GB of free space in the EU.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №130022
 28.06.2016
The question of washing a child is elementary - until the child learns to wash safely himself.
But at the same time, it is quite permissible to wash and a teenager, if for some reason (sickness, for example), he cannot do it himself. However, the last point applies to the care of any relative, including elderly parents.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №130021
 28.06.2016
Basically educational:
Now I understand why the Maya sacrificed their players, you know, I also want to reintroduce this old, unfortunately forgotten tradition.

Maya sacrificed the winning team. For us, that won’t help.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №130020
 28.06.2016
My mother, when I came to the sanatorium, asked her to be placed with a woman who is snoring, because her mother is also snoring. And then she asked the woman:"Will we go forth?"And she agreed-"Will we go forth".
As a result, they spent their holidays friendly, without grievances and silences.

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