bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №129899
 25.06.2016
One day I got stuck in the elevator. The elevator was old and stinky. The call button didn’t work, it started screaming: “Help, I’m stuck!” All without result. But when I started feeding like a little cat, I heard a revival in the entrance. People called for the elevators and released me. You would see their faces when a girl came out instead of a cat.)

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129898
 25.06.2016
If the heroes of the film "Ironia of Destiny" had a tradition to go to the bath before the New Year, then aliens took the rule to try to exterminate the earth's people just before July 4 - the day of independence of the United States. It is understandable – the light of American democracy cuts the eyes of the enemies of freedom even from an intergalactic distance. © by

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №129897
 25.06.2016
> The website of RRTV. "He flew across the well. It is said that from the trampoline he flew through the air, rose back. If he walked on the earth, he would have stuck here", the eyewitnesses said.
What language is that? I did not understand anything!!! to

Is that what you are going to understand? This is the common language of the rentivoids.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129896
 25.06.2016
For example, a woman does not enjoy sex with her partner, she does not get any pleasure from him (cases of frigidity are not considered). She says openly that she is not pleased. But her partner misses it by the ears and continues to do everything like before. So why would she continue to fuck him? For some other plush - apartments, gifts, and so on? She is the most ordinary prostitute. And if by the principle "that at least somebody is", then she is a masochist.

What if she loves this particular person and no one in the world needs her anymore? Love is a surprise! This is not sex or cake.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129895
 25.06.2016
Russia is a country of contrasts:
Parking the METRO store, a man folds the bags into his Mersedes GL and attachs the cart to the other, takes his coin. Then he notices another couple of chariots nearby and begins to tie them up, taking coins from the locks. He stopped only after the shout of the employee of this same parking lot (which is hitting them and taking coins)

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №129894
 25.06.2016
Two disputes in one.

In my opinion, to say that underwear and swimwear are fundamentally different things - it is the same as to suddenly decide that ordinary socks are inappropriate, but fast-drying synthetic can already shine in the public in specially dedicated places.

And trying to infuse everyone in a row, and especially children, the shame and prohibition of the naked human body is generally a direct path to the upbringing of psychopaths and maniacs, can not be all normal in the head of a person who considers inappropriate his own body, in which he lives.

And no, the absence of rejection and shame in the face of the naked body does not lead to public nudity and other oddities, if in the process of education to talk about social norms, and not about the fact that under the clothes you are all so disgraceful and you should be ashamed that it is all there.

The human body is beautiful.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129893
 25.06.2016
Wasabi: I liked it! I am Vasabi, not Vasya B!

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №129892
 25.06.2016
About clothes and swimsuits:
The girl in an open swimsuit is dressed. The girl in closed underwear is dressed. It can’t be explained – only remembered."
© Jurchenko S.G., School demon 4

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №129891
 25.06.2016
Here is Fig.

And yes, clothes and swimwear are different things. It is a pity that you do not understand this.

If the underwear of the category "to wear to immediately remove" - then yes. And ordinary underwear differs from swimwear in color and material. Or just material. The "principal" difference is only in our heads. It is a pity that you do not understand this.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №129890
 25.06.2016
Olya to her husband: The crane is running.
The room will soon flood.
to fix problems
We need to change the inserts.
The man replied, “Listen, Olya.
I’m a technician for you, right?! to
The next day, the wife cried:
Switching of barrel.
Repair would not bother.
So you got me,
Like your soup that I eat without salt!
I am an electrician, right?! to
My husband came for lunch.
A neighbor came.
The switch repaired
I replaced the plugs.
This is great, no problem!
Tell me what in return.
Did he want this case?! to
Whether I sing or I sing.
Did you sing, Olga?! to
I am a singer, right?! to

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №129889
 25.06.2016

here here :
About "return to the past to fix everything". I like the movie "The Butterfly Effect". Who did not watch - there the main character learned to return to some moments of his life and do everything differently (in the end his life changed). And every time it turned out to be silly - then without hands will remain, then in jail will sit, then a friend in a psychic will be cared for, and a girlfriend will become a prostitute. A good film that answers the question "what would it be if it were done differently".

"Back to the Future" – If you are careful, you can

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129888
 25.06.2016
For the Justice:

Eventually, everything went well, anyway. When he thought to go back to his childhood and send the girl, because of which the whole spark was. I think the main idea of the film is: babies are evil!)))

In the original version of the film, he returned to his childhood and killed himself (without being born). All my friends and family are well. And then the end was admitted to be cruel and removed.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №129887
 25.06.2016
Do you not see that year after year mankind is living better and better? If I had a time machine, I would have gone 100-150 years ahead, registered for social support, and lived in a dormitory with a couple of personal robots.

It was in an old fantastic show. All of humanity, without speaking, has rushed alone to a bright future. The future is not to be created by anyone. Everyone looks out of their time machine – and here is an emptiness, not a bright future. And it flies on itself, further and further. The end.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №129886
 25.06.2016
No, my dear therapist, I’m not going to sun less, sorry. I don’t know how, in my opinion, the sun brings me much more benefit than harm.

Go to the oncologist to tell, entertain the person.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №129885
 25.06.2016
The boring space

On August 11, at 23:30 Moscow time, about 3 hours after the American astronauts Rick Mastrakyo and David Williams went out into open space, the main command-control computer of the American segment of the station declined. Its functions were transferred to the duplicating equipment.

The computer failure did not create any threat to the astronauts working on board or to the people on the ISS. Initially, the possible causes of the breakdown, which NASA called "mysterious", were not announced.

Later, from the text of the radio talks of Russian cosmonauts with the Central Space Administration, it became known that one of the American astronauts turned off the TBU and all the sockets, because he wanted to photograph in complete darkness, but the lights on the instrument panel interfered with him, and he turned off everything that shines, which was accidentally discovered by one of the Russian cosmonauts.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129884
 25.06.2016
Sorry, nothing helps here anymore.
Y: The next time I need moral help, please be silent. You don’t do it very well.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №129883
 25.06.2016
And yes, underwear and swimwear are different things. It is a pity that you do not understand this.

Oh, girls are very strange objects, they are embarrassed in the swimsuit, and they are not in the swimsuit)))

Ordinary everyday underwear, without any there are sexy swimsuits is even more closed than some swimsuits. There is no fundamental difference.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №129882
 25.06.2016
She says openly that she is not pleased. But her partner misses it by the ears and continues to do everything like before. So why would she continue to fuck him? For some other plush - apartments, gifts, etc.? to

But you imagine - it happens that they love a person and unselfishly want him to be good. Ignoring their interests.
When such loving women burn out without each other’s attention and just say “stop,” their partners come into much greater confusion and anger than those with whom not so loving all their lives are drawn. They feel deceived, you know?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №129881
 25.06.2016
Put here the second part of the dead souls. Or at least a reference.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №129880
 25.06.2016
If children walk like this with their parents, the same article. This is unfair, immoral.

You made my day.............
Parents until a certain age see their children naked regularly, the son of 10 years, a year ago he started to lock from me in the bathroom, himself, no one taught him that it is inappropriate to walk naked, felt the gender difference and all, no one bothered when he big-blowed around the apartment, no one specifically emphasized attention, just came the time when girls separately - boys separately. Social services are only available to disadvantaged families.

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