bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122093
 21.12.2015
<xxx> yyy: here is my accountant once told me
<yyy> throw it in ;)
<xxx> yyy: I ask him why he has such a big car
<yyy> a small MPH? and :)
<xxx> he drives it only from home to work and back
<xxx> and he said to me, “and I have two of them at all”
<xxx> said, there is a second, small
<xxx> and he was driving it all the way.
<xxx> and came once to negotiate a deal
<xxx> with some telecom
<xxx> came, discussed with aunt from that company, all cool
<xxx> go to the parking lot
<xxx> she looked at his car and then the contract broke :)
<yyy> remind one story in the innet "I can’t dismiss the boss. She’s pizzing, but she’s coming to work on a bicycle! We are also a bank!" :)))
<xxx> he was so upset that he went and bought himself the most miserable car from the most expensive.


[ + 20 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122092
 21.12.2015
Recently there was a celebration of nano-technology:
P24 shows the opening of the black box. The dictator (from the word "do not be silent, fox, dictate something") tells about the opening of the box with the help of special means, and on the frames, at the same time, two guys drill the box... And then our representative there broadcasts something to the invited savages, and in front of him a specialist with a calm face (everyone in his head at this time Mozart or another classic plays) snacks the contacts on the microchip...

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122091
 21.12.2015
The laptop in the metal body after the fall works, but little bended. I am carrying in repair, showing: say, here is a crack, do something.

The Master (with hope)
Should the screen be replaced?

No, he works

and exactly?

and exactly.

(With a shattering hope)
Per the keyboard is swinging?

In general, we went with the note to another workshop away from sin!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122090
 21.12.2015
We lie down with a guy, watch the movie "Unstoppable". After one of the explosive scenes I say:
The explosion really makes things better.
Yes, now I will explode the petard after sex.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122089
 21.12.2015
If necessary, the Chinese watt can take any value. Like Cosinus in time of war.

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №122088
 21.12.2015
When trying to download a scan of the textbook before the exams, it was misleadingly transferred to a website about the rest in the Maldives. All, say goodbye to the discounted drainage pipes, professional access and online earnings, child car seats and foreign language courses for retirees... Now I’m being pursued on every page of the Maldives, the Caribbean and other Hawaiian islands. Could, really, spit on the session, hand over the records in the maculature and for the money earned by this to go to the VIP resort?

[ + 17 - ] Comment quote №122087
 21.12.2015
xxx: The programming tool should look like this:
to stand on four balls, at an angle of 30%, the trunk should turn somewhere from one edge, the rain should lie on the side, because it is not necessary. Guirlandes should blink with all colors except the RGB palette. And the tree tree should not support the tree balls of the model below 2003, and the guirlandes below 2001. Gifts should only be placed on the south side, because the tree will not work.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №122086
 21.12.2015
Here they all say: Deadpool, Deadpool.Moll he breaks the fourth wall and turns to the spectators (readers).We have in Russia for a long time.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №122085
 21.12.2015
The victim is a white man. Apparently caught to death.

The officer! This m¥dock shouted spoilers to Star Wars.

So we write: "Suicide"

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №122084
 21.12.2015
cagüentó: The only time I really got the obsessive comments the hell knows how many of my ex-husband's unclean aunt, hiding that there are no children, and I would go to put the candle to the madonna, and the straw to keep under the mattress, I asked if this madonna helps professional unemployed, like her niece, and where should they put that straw?

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №122083
 21.12.2015
The news:
The Dutch Museum is going to change the names of paintings, which contain words such as "Negro", "Indian", "Dark" and the like. About 200 names have been changed.

The commentary:
"Man and woman" will be tolerantly called "Person and individual".

[ + 24 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122082
 21.12.2015
Your people who write this site and modeled came to it from the phone?
Holding in my right hand and leafy with my thumb, I noticed that once I would put the citations of the banana.

[ + 18 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122081
 20.12.2015
In principle, the name Anton can be ratified as follows: Anton is a Spanish don.
I have not heard that.
I too.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №122080
 20.12.2015
OP: The old one has become.
SM: Old is when it is more interesting to have sex

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122079
 20.12.2015
Strong is not the one who falls, strong is the one who raises.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122078
 20.12.2015
I’m currently working as a graphic designer and I’m very sorry I can’t get a third degree.
............

and UGU. Philosophical for example. "The Third" Maybe they will learn to write well. "Designer" is a good thing.

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №122077
 20.12.2015
I hear the cry of a five-year-old son from the living room:
"My Daddy I could be a cat!and "
The picture in my head was drawn tough, and I was already gathered to save the poor Kashka...
But after a second of confusion, I remembered - the tree is dressed...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №122076
 20.12.2015
Oh, you are so evil.
Wow, I’m bad, thank you, I’ll remind you of this.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №122075
 20.12.2015
Not so long ago, a woman in a row said that my son does not have the sound name Semen Alekseevich, naturally when I asked what her boy's name she killed me with her answer, Gepard Vladimirovich...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №122074
 20.12.2015
I had my first profession of financial analysis, studying was very interesting, I also worked with pleasure. Then I became very interested in psychology - I got the second higher. I am currently working as a graphic designer and I am very sorry that I can’t get the third higher"

Really sorry! Maybe I’d finally learned to write. Half of the visual sludge around - from such designers, who are neither ear nor ear in the profession, or even financial psychologists, unable to link pairs of phrases without mistakes.

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