From Japan:

It is foolish to criticize the translation of the name from one language to another, I think it cannot be stated unambiguously. For example, my name is Igor, Ihor was written in the passport as they explained that Igor is translated into English as Egor.
Now I’m 70% named Ayurveda, Ayurveda Karl! I even look with humor when in a public place in a line from the doctor’s office, a social worker, etc. There’s a girl looking up and screaming around the hall, Ayhor, which sounds identical to "I Whore", which translates as "I’m a Prostitute". Half the room sympathizes with her, half lies.

A friend calls to share impressions from the recently watched Star Wars episode:
I: So what about you?
D: Well, not very much. At the end of the film, it became clear that there would be a continuation.
I think maybe I should tell him?

The director of the Kzpto is about to retire, and decided to leave the collective a memory of himself - he organized a plantation of fruit trees in the courtyard of the workshops - said to eat and remember. We already remembered it, when because of the seedlings, the samosval could not go as needed, and half the sand machine had to be thrown over with the blades manually. In the spring, it is planned to plant more trees with a dozen to remember even better. I think of the "Eheh! You will remember the century!and "

In the Ukrainian government in Russian spoke Georgian and Armenian, proving each other who of them is more Ukrainian.

Previously, I was late to work for five minutes because of the fact that I was cleaning up in the cat pot in the morning and driving the cat away from the entrance door (the cat wants to walk early in the morning). I switched the alarm 5 minutes earlier. For a while everything was fine, but after a while the cat’s revenge overcame me – the kiss began to bite five minutes before I left the house. The cock.

Jeb Bush: Donald Trump is a fool!

Donald Trump: Wow, wow, palechchi, brother of the fool.

XXX: Shortly
XXX: The clouds are not looking anywhere. He is a scalar.
Olga is a vector.
xxx: You cannot fold a vector and a scalar
xxx: Here is Olga and came up with Stoltz, who is also a vector
XXX: A Oblomov with Agaphya
XXX: Which Scale
XXX: Mathematics in Literature
XXX is perfect

My colleague had fun today. She came to her by recording "Silicon Valley". Everything is right: expanded hair, nails-sectioners, and lips in the face floor (plus a set of silicone bust and brain :-) ) I hear her say:"You are more careful with my mouth....he has my work." :shock: :facepalm:

The feeling of filling the keyboard with tea. Including the shift. You sit like this, and the screw insists on asking if you want to turn on the keystrokes.
Thank you, I have a machine.

We talk to a friend, both have six-year-old children.

E.: We are sitting now with V. in the kitchen with notes, some page is not loaded. I update it with the words "and where is the internet?", the page loads, I say "ku-ku, here it is!"

M: And I drive the trucks in the stores.

My 12-year-old daughter decided to become a surgeon. After reading the internet and reviewing all the books on surgery available in the house, she approached her husband and said:

- Papule, I have often had a stomach pain lately and I found out that all the symptoms are similar to prostatitis.

The husband roasted for two hours, then explained the same reason why she made the wrong diagnosis.

My girlfriend has been practicing judo for a long time. Why am I? So we decided to experiment in the poses of the camasutra. We take the chosen posture and... here I ohu-evaju (sorry, of course, but in other words not to replace this feeling of a sharp transition from an extremely relaxed state) from pain. Then, when asked what it was, she replied that from this posture it turns out to be so comfortable to move on to the painful.

I went to my favorite cardiology department yesterday, and I saw a grandmother dressed in decent clothes with a suitcase walking through the hallway. I ask her:

Are you not lost?

I can’t find a way out here...

I took my grandmother. I pointed out the direction to the taxi stop and, pleased, I go back to the department, Figli, the grandmother helped - did a good thing... In five minutes my colleague breaks into the office with screams: "Karaul, emergency, my patient has escaped! A grandmother with progressive Alzheimer’s disease. A neighbor in the room said that the grandmother was tired of waiting for me to come and help her gather. Dressed up and left. The family will come in five minutes to pick her up. “Has no one seen her anywhere?”

I do not understand the stupidity and utopia of this contextual advertising.
When I found on the Internet an aquarium, a pump, a box or anything else there, and bought it, and after two days on all sites I am offered to buy the same goods?
With whom does it work?

XXX: I love the game
YYY: Congratulations to you
xxx and you?
yyy Such questions immediately, I am directly lost...)))) Maybe we go to the movie first, you introduce your parents...)))))))
I don’t want to go to cinema.
yyy: Well, then to the concert of the orchestra of Scottish volynists and Tyrol jodlers))) They say, rarely who is not impressed...)))
xxx: contact removed itself

When they came for PornLab, there was no one to stand up for me.
........................................................................................
Everyone had busy hands.

by Anna:
ppc
I drove for 40 minutes on the road looking for this God-forgotten place.

by Nicholas:
by Omg
Calling a camel.
Refused to transport.
Feel yourself in the skin of a taxi driver.
Arrived at your company?

by Anna:
I called. Then I found the missing car ;)

On Russia-24 interview with Kerry.
Assad must leave because he is attracting terrorists: terrorists from all over the world are coming to fight him. He has to go"

Rashlim: Well, it is right. Assad will leave, the terrorists are right away: "Opa, shatter", and on the houses.

For 24 hours there was an independent Republic of Crimea. For the first time in its history. Per this is a record for the short duration of the existence of an independent state.
And they could have time to attack the United States and surrender, idiots.
They just forgot that joke.

I: And that’s also tea?
See also: Backlands
I: Why do they fly with open sticks?
He (pressed with his shoulders): the backs...