bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121412
 04.12.2015
My cat's father has long been taught to show nails, so after clashes with the cat, the sister walks with bleaches.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121411
 04.12.2015
A sleepy night with a newborn daughter. I convinced her to sleep only at 4 p.m. My husband in the morning:
How are you after such a night?
I learned a lot about myself, dear. For example, that I could with a tender and quiet voice persuade my beloved daughter to fall asleep, but honestly, my thoughts at that moment would be applauded by any sadistic killer standing.

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121410
 04.12.2015
You see, when they write "positivates", it shouldn’t be a shock. Well, an illiterate man, full of such books, did not read, therefore did not learn to think, and what runs to express his opinion - so again, such a full, the problem of modernity. This is bad, of course, but here everything is clear.

But here’s what I can’t understand, how can you write "parasitize", if you fucking three lines above several times wrote "parasitize"? So how? It is impossible to forget in three lines how the word is written! Is this how it happens? Why does one person write the same word differently? Every time he begins to think again, which letter to write there, right?
What is in their head?

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №121409
 04.12.2015
Love is... When you have not lived with your parents for fifteen years, and suddenly in the middle of the night a drunken father calls you from a business trip to an unknown village to tell anyone about how cool your mother is - he would call her, but he does not want to wake up, she will not sleep.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №121408
 04.12.2015
As long as I remember my grandmother always kept chickens in the farm. She’s under 80 and it’s her only job. For her, chicken is like a cat or a dog for you. She loves them, cares about them, talks to them. I can’t imagine my grandmother without her furry friends. But I was always wondering where all her love went when she cut off her beads with a tail.

[ + 35 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121407
 04.12.2015
Once we were driving with a friend and her six-year-old nephew, who was talking in the back seat. A friend asked:



Jake, who are you talking to?

with myself.

And what are you talking about?



After five long seconds of silence, Jake replied:

I do not know. I did not listen.

[ + 26 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121406
 04.12.2015
LIKE: Suka, the work of the financier is: "Model_project_final version_FINAL(result)_agreed(12)_CURRENT_FINAL_v.39"...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №121405
 04.12.2015
I think that the questions of humanitarian education are dealt with by technicians, and the questions of technical - humanitarian. That would explain a lot...

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №121404
 04.12.2015
Fallout 4 is Skyrim, but with guns
Fallout 4 is the out-of-marriage son of Stalker and Sims.
XX: Then and Minecraft
UUU: and with elements of the film "Iron Man"
XX: and with a tie from "Futurama". A single-eyed girl with blue hair.
Philip J. Fry worked as a pizza carrier, but not as a pearl. He was then in the cryogenic chamber, in the future. There are robots, mutants, aliens... But there is no girl with blue hair. Then he finds out he’s Tony Stark. He begins to make a costume. Then he went and built houses. And the Turks. And the collage collects. But without a motif, he does not fly - and he goes to moisturize the mutants in the Zone. And behind the hole. Fuss-do-Rah is a blade.
XX: This is exactly the impression that Fallout-4 produces

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №121403
 04.12.2015
by VeloPeter. The lights float:
xxx: on the bike is not so scary yet, but when I am driving and these monsters in black and cape...it’s just hell, gentlemen! People don’t want to live that way.
What’s the point in this weather...


[ + 41 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121402
 04.12.2015
Dear women, if the enemy is not married to a billionaire, you should not trust her.

[ + 52 - ] Comment quote №121401
 04.12.2015
I then studied at the 1st or 2nd grade at the MSU, and once a friend brought me to a Bohemian company. There were mostly students of GITIS, an old cozy Moscow apartment in a Stalinist house, on the walls of avant-garde paintings. A round wooden table, wine, tea, snacks, everything clean, good music, no treasure. On my left hand was a boy sitting – red-red, pale, beautiful, with swans. I liked him. He looked at me, and I looked at him. And here somewhere after midnight everyone somehow wavered, whispered, someone went to another room, returned with a package. From the package there were syringes - single-use, in whole packages, and all kinds of addams, all very clean. The Bohemian students asked me, very polite:
Do you want to try heroin? A safe dose? and free?
Oh, I said I said. Is there a safe dose? Isn’t it a habit from the first time?
The Bohemian students stumbled.
Irvine is all. There is no habit from the first time. But we don’t impose anything on you, don’t think. You don’t want – as you want.
And they also told me how after one dose they, for example, fly. Or orgasm for an hour. And some more joy, I don’t remember. They only have one-time injections. The danger is zero. The red boy on the left of me was silent and slightly smiling. He wrapped his sleeve.

I don’t want to have an orgasm for an hour. Maybe I was just an idiot. I became terribly curious. Directly very curious. And they were all so cute, intelligent, cool - no droplets are like drug addicts from horrors.
And I said:
Let it go. Only a small trial dose.

Then the red boy, very quietly, right here in a whisper, said to me:
I have AIDS.

I was scared and moved away a little. And I began to think convulsively whether I had touched, for example, his glass. I knew that AIDS is not transmitted through glasses.

“AIDS is not transmitted through dishes,” the boy smiled understandably, red and pale. Terribly, terribly pale, as I suddenly understood. I told you this, you know why? So that you think again. For example, I didn’t get used to it the first time. I just liked it very much. I tried the second time. And in the third. And in the fourth. And usually I only used single-use syringes, this is how they are here. But one day, I don’t even remember where and with whom, I used someone else, because the one-time ended. I very much wanted. Then this situation repeated. In short, I have AIDS. And if you do not refuse now, you will have it too. Sooner or later. Most importantly, you know what? Orgasm within an hour is not cool. It is just shit. It hurt.

I said quietly, “I understand.” And quietly moved away from the beautiful, red boy. I did not look at him anymore. I gave up heroin and wine was over, so I drank tea from a bag. The cup was washed in the kitchen with soap.

Then I remembered that night many times and thought, what a cool red boy. He took me and saved me, just so. I did not even remember his name.

Anna Starobinets

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №121400
 04.12.2015
Yesterday I bought ketchup in the store, the price is 65 rubles. I go in today, on it a discount, I read on the price list: "old price 95, new 75 rubles." I bought it yesterday, not today with a discount.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №121399
 04.12.2015
"Plover": o/a/s

This root alternation dates back to a time when the common ancestor of Slavic languages had a more developed system of vocalisms: there was a developed system of diptongs and the division of vocals into dogian and short, and the system of accents was fundamentally different from the modern (the place of emphasis could perform a significance distinctive function). Over time, in many words, differences in the place of emphasis led to differences in vocal, especially in A and O - under emphasis they began to be pronounced as long, without emphasis - as short.
At the next stage of development, with the disappearance of long and short, there was, at first glance, an unexpected transformation: the long A and O reflected into the modern A, the short A and O gave birth to the modern O. The traces of this process we observe in many Russian roots.

However, the alternation of float/float/float was complicated by two factors: the flexibility of emphasis (the alternation of float/float in modern language is not associated with the impact of the vocal) and the additional influence of the form of “float” which was mixed with the suffixal forms on the “vati” attached verbs of an imperfect kind (breaking – breaking), although in float/float/float B – the root, not the suffixal. Under the influence of this mixture and appeared "Y" in the root swim, swim.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №121398
 04.12.2015
Hyundai Solaris owners.

At first, I thought they were recalling the owners. It would actually take 80% back.)

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №121397
 04.12.2015
XXX The People! There is a choice: a tablet for win 8.1 or win 10. What to take?
Yyy: Take a Beer

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №121396
 04.12.2015
Trailer for the new Viking. The stones:

XXX: Skyrim for the Nordics!

The moon for the lunarists!

Clothes for pregnant women.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №121395
 04.12.2015
About Crimea and Zombie-Machines TV:

I’m not afraid of television, I’m afraid of the idiots who watch it.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №121394
 04.12.2015
And here is the typical logic of "vita"-growths.
and ==
These are the people to be fooled at! Which is a pleasant method of killing at will. You want to shoot birds – you shoot, you don’t want to see mice – you put mice. And then you want to stand in my place and you stand on my feet. Or you want my money and you steal. Go off you, Gandhi.
and ==
Today he is shooting crows (and rats), and tomorrow he is going to shoot and kill people.
What is. This is a standard wish. I wish you to meet your beloved harmless animals. A bunch of hungry dogs. Dozens of pickling crows in the city park. Angry hungry rat rushing on your baby. Be sure to tell them about their benefits and your warm love for them.

[ + 33 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №121393
 04.12.2015
I had a very strange dream. I go with some old baggage to get a visa to some old-fashioned house with a falling door. I take the line for the priest and someone else there. I wait, and then it turns out that I have almost no necessary papers. I am wrapped. Only when I woke up, I realized that I was going to get a visa there... to that light. I did not give!! Beware of the bureaucracy!!! to

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