bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118772
 24.09.2015
Were you in Costa Rica? Tell me how there is...? What is there...?
(M ) :...
Q: What is the money?
M is money? Hmm... I forgot it. What is the name of this procedure when you are stuck in a video camera?
(S): The colonoscopy, and what suddenly...
Oh, I remembered it! The column! The column is called the Costa Rican currency.

[ + 28 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118771
 24.09.2015
Foreigners wishing to obtain Russian citizenship, I offer shock therapy: come here by train of the Russian Railways, get a package by the Russian Post, paying it through Sberbank, and undergo a medical examination in a Russian clinic.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118770
 24.09.2015
XXX: Sorry for being stressed. But here the cat in the hallway stumbled, and I have to run out of the house urgently. If you come from work, please take him.
What is it, is it compiled?
HH: In the sense?
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №118769
 24.09.2015
Help come up with a name for a women's craft club
Hand job?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118768
 24.09.2015
Alex Mur: We have a new whisper at work...the women’s society in the open is not sucked and the bones are not washed, we created a chat room in the watsap and they sit there...pppc:-D

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118767
 23.09.2015
The story was told at work:
It was a long time ago, there were no cell phones. I call my friend at home (and he’s a big boss in GAI). And the wife says:
No, I went hunting.
How about hunting?
He went to the dentist today, removed his tooth, and now he needs to kill someone urgently.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №118766
 23.09.2015
My husband and I went to one of the auto salons, so to say, it is a pity to behave, to look at the machines, and here he notices in a cute girl at the reception a strong blood flow on her neck in the form of a fingerprint. Looking at this, he says with an unwavering look - either she has a very good sexual life or a very bad family life... And he didn't even want to object.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118765
 23.09.2015
xx: Well, let’s go, let’s go
XX: You only promise

yy: pfff

xx: Not pf, but prepare a brick to give to the gate, the lady wants to walk

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118764
 23.09.2015
xxx: Teleponics are intended for audiences who cannot connect two words.

YYY: In the Alcatraz?

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №118763
 23.09.2015
To a bad programmer, the compiler interferes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118762
 23.09.2015
Talk about the recent fall of Skype:

XHH: Unfortunately, everything that Microsoft buys over time becomes... (considering the word for a long time)
The Internet Explorer!

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118761
 23.09.2015
Dave went to the hospital. Talon at 17:40, came earlier, I see, one man is sitting in the office, well, I am opposite the village and carefully interested - "You are at half sixth?"
He looked at me somewhat maliciously, struck something unfriendly and turned away.
It turned out, the floor was wrong, and in that office the urologist takes.
In short, a picker of me like myself...

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118760
 23.09.2015
Comments on HUB
xxx is. The console is written through a defiance not always. In the words “greater” and “reliable” it is written together.
YYYYY clearly

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118759
 23.09.2015
Uncle Liao: “The ideal anti-borrower is a person who can pay off a loan but is stubbornly unwilling to take it.”

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118758
 23.09.2015
Here is our house 5 (five!) of cutting boards for different purposes - one for bread, another for vegetables, the third for fruits (they are with corresponding patterns), the fourth for cutting raw meat (good and chicken with fish there), the fifth for all kinds of things, but! Cheese and cheese should be cut on different sides. And one more :)
Products of extraterrestrial origin?
No to Daddy! You can cut it all! ?

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №118757
 23.09.2015
# Depressed
Autumn has arrived
Everything goes to the cockroaches.
Put a liking and tap.
Tell to friends

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118756
 23.09.2015
xxx> do you remember at least what it’s like to be drunk in the wood?
yyy> is confusing. I was drunk in the wood at that moment.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №118755
 23.09.2015
duzorg (16:10:35 23/09/2015)
The air conditioner was drained and all the water poured out into the server room... Well, I accidentally went there... There were servacles standing on a wooden table, and its water was washed, it was curved in the middle somewhere at 15-20cm.
duzorg (16:10:55 23/09/2015)
Or even more than 100.
duzorg (16:11:27 23/09/2015)
And I went to the server because the microtoks was hanging... And the microtoks was hanging for the first time in 4 years... %)
Funkryer (16:12:16 23/09/2015)
So lucky
Funkryer (16:13:16 23/09/2015)
It would be great to talk about the microchip =)
duzorg (16:13:35 23/09/2015)
In general, the ppc... Directly Divine )))
Funkryer (16:13:46 23/09/2015)
The mouth hangs once in 4 years and then only to save our servants.
duzorg (16:13:58 23/09/2015)
The microscope not only works stably, but also takes care of the stable operation of nearby equipment.)
Funkryer (16:14:08 23/09/2015)
Yes Yes
duzorg (16:14:38 23/09/2015)
In fact, it may be from the high humidity that the thread clinted...
Funkryer (16:15:41 23/09/2015)
Start not to spoil the magic!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118754
 23.09.2015
The Condybas:
Here, by the way, yes, in recent years, computer viruses have ceased to appear as cascades of explosions of monitors. It’s not clear whether it’s because of the scripts, or because of the transition from CRT to LCD.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №118753
 23.09.2015
and XXX:
Which bank do you use?

YYY :
Hello, an alphabet, sometimes a collection, and very rarely a discovery.

and XXX:
S6 is great! I need to transfer money to a card from Yandex, and I don’t have cards (I’ll give you yours and you’ll give them back to me afterwards). You only need a card number and all.
I will not be in debt.

YYY :
I can’t, I just walk with my legs on paper, like my grandmother.

and XXX:
I will not understand you.
Why write then?
What is a map?

YYY :
Question: “Hello, which bank do you use?”
Not a word about the map.
What, however, the illiterate scammers went, even the Kiddalov proposal can not fully formulate))

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna