bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118712
 22.09.2015
with japlakal description of the duties of Sisadmin Clinic with z/p 45
Medical equipment (electronics and electricity)
Determination of malfunctions, major repairs in the clinic
Development of electronic technological and test schemes for identification and repair of medical equipment failures
Medical Equipment (Technological Equipment)
Repair of pumps, compressors, specialized chairs, beds, lighting equipment, GCT, cleaners, vacuum cleaners, etc.
Ventilation Equipment
Processing of the principle circuit of e/energy supply to devices (ventilators, heaters, grills, grills)
Monitoring and correction of temperature in clinic premises
Challenge and work with specialists if necessary to perform repairs or restructuring of the air supply scheme
Water supply and sewerage
Small steering repair of cranes, water supply, seal, insulation
Work with involved sanitary technician in case of medium breakdowns
Elimination of drainage leaks, small repairs of tanks, toilets
Other works
Carpentry works (doors, cabinets, windows, cabinets)
Supervision of the condition of floors, walls, tiles, sandwiches and other host equipment in clinics
Clothing of plinths, seals, interwoven compounds
Work on additional areas

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №118711
 22.09.2015
Micheal 8 years. She asked him to take care of the younger (9 months) - while running to the store.
I go back and see a baby crawling on the carpet and an 8-year-old child sitting in his wheelchair.Covering her with a bathroom!!! - as in a tank, and hears: "Save yourself who can, the Social Democrats float!"

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118710
 22.09.2015
Interesting fact: scientists estimated that writing in the shower can save about 4,400 liters of water per year. You can’t understand, I’m just economical.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №118709
 22.09.2015
- Hear, fraerok, well you cut off the babble in an easy way - well, nobody forbids you, but have a conscience, share with the boys, kick in common, only you will be more complete!
– Minister of Finance, is this your only claim to the Minister of Finance?

[ + 43 - ] Comment quote №118708
 22.09.2015
Sister of small height, thin and looks young (typically a small dog to old age puppies), her husband is a healthy bald uncle. By passport, the age difference is five years, externally - about a generation.

Recently in the children's clinic asked why the child brought not the parents, but the older sister and grandfather.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118707
 22.09.2015
If in the west, owners of right-handed cars cannot normally eat fast food, then in Vladivostok, owners of Porsche and other cadillacs honorably exit the car before each slugbaum with a cartridge.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №118706
 22.09.2015
PlayStation owners spend on YouPorn on average 9 minutes and 39 seconds, Xbox – 9 minutes, Wii – 8 minutes and 23 seconds.
Is this going to be Marioboi - shots?)

WOW: Marioboys are used to wrap 40 seconds of opening and turn off without waiting for an end.

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118705
 22.09.2015
(Moving to a new office)
Why are the windows uncomfortable and nothing is visible in them?
Because you can fall out.
Why can I fall out?
The windows are opened from below.
Why do they open from below?
Because the windows are big.
Why do we have big windows that we can’t see?! to

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №118704
 22.09.2015
Nastya: After reading the page of Dmitry Nagiyev on Facebook, I realized that he is a metaphysical vanilla in the body of a healthy bald man. This is what I understand, not the correspondence of appearance to content.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №118703
 22.09.2015
Architects, emaies, are the source of endless affection. Planner, disassembly of some legacy module. They say we will rewrite. The architect analyzed it for a week. I read the code there, compiled something, the virtual machine raised a bunch, thought about the heat, went to smoke every 15 and put the cartridge in the printer. Here comes this megahuman to the wattboard to report to the command about the device of this wunderwaffle. Takes a marker, thinks a long time, paints a circle. He still thinks, he paints. He still thinks, drawing an incoming arrow. Then the outgoing. He turns to Command:

Well, my friends, this is a shit. Everything works through her. Now let’s look at Demi and talk about Buggy.

I am generally surprised that they have not yet added a standard symbol to their UML.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118702
 22.09.2015
The guard confused sugar with salt, and the boy who stole the apples had his ass.

[ + 35 - ] Comment quote №118701
 22.09.2015
I am not a romantic, I am not a romantic. And I have no taste: I bought my wife five roses (red, white, yellow, pink and blue / long ago I have not seen such, but she was not painted, it was a direct variety of this color was /). I did this miracle to her.
Now the older one is 9 years old and all this time, every time when viewing a photo of her girlfriends - newly-picked moms, she puts me in disgrace, what said, look - they have bouquets, and you gave me what the older one?? to
After my response, she remained silent for a long time. My answer is always one: "They will forget these flowers in a year, and you have mine for 9 years right as they stand in front of your eyes."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №118700
 22.09.2015
xxx: Take, for example, an iPhone, taken in the United States under a contract from a cell phone company. If an iPhone tenant suddenly dies without paying the entire amount, who becomes the owner of the iPhone? Are the relatives of the deceased obliged to return the device to the company?

YYY: What a difficult business plan you have.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №118699
 22.09.2015
Zzz works in a flower store.

As they say, one head is good.
Two is not beautiful!and :)
Zzz: In my case, two are already bushy.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №118698
 22.09.2015
chu: "In Ukraine are going to legalize prostitution"I knew, I knew! I think the next innovations will be the legalization of narcotic drugs, firearms, the sourcing of anabolic steroids well and of course sodomy, you can even introduce a progressive tax on masculinity, as in the Netherlands.
Chu: What are you surprised, police morals, there are a lot where.
Chu: Lapochka: And if I am alone, and after the sex that ordinary women can give me is only pretentiousness and greed, and I am pleased with an honest, goods exchange, why can’t I use the services of the priests of love? Where is morality here?
I am not in the shower why. I am personally in favor of prostitution in enclaves, like in shogunate-era Japan.
Lapochka: Swim in a boat, fought, fled
Chu: an overwhelming idea, and the main element of romance is present
cebka25519: Yes, as long as you sail, you will go a long way

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №118697
 22.09.2015
I told my 4,5 year old son:
“On the other day, the little one did not ask for this, and you and your mother have delicious blood?
And this morning, after his wife cut off with a knife, he said with enthusiasm - How long I waited for it!“!”

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №118696
 22.09.2015
Of the fines of the PDD: illegal installation on the car of the "light taxi" sign - 5000 rubles. Driving with a faulty braking system - 500 rubles.

[ + 15 - ] Comment quote №118695
 22.09.2015
Hate is a hidden form of recognition and respect.

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №118694
 22.09.2015
In Omsk, one girl with a psychology diploma could not find a job. Well, she sat down, sat down and decided to do what was really sought in the market. And what would you think? I started guessing on the tarot cards. Yes, in the first few weeks of this practice there was no departure from customers.
Then the girl increased the tarification of her hourly salary, because the issue of wealth was solved, and with free time became more difficult. The people got even more - because they understood: once so much is paid for this matter, it is worth it.
The psychiatrist raised the price of his services for the third time. And now officials and a police colonel began to go to her, who visits for information about his fate three times a week.
The best profession story I’ve heard lately.

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №118693
 22.09.2015
This Monday, many governors did not appear to the public, they worked with documents: crushed, burned, hid...

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