Here besides jokes, asked the girl not to come up with arguments in a dispute when her own ends, but just say "Oh, all!". Life has become much easier.)

Found on tagos.ru:
It came some time to update the phone, chose a certain model, found through the Internet office with a suitable price. I came, showed, everything worked, filled out the warranty, put a signature, broke a couple of phrases with the seller, said goodbye. I go out of the store and see: there is no delivery. I return for her - the seller stumbled: "And you, he says, have not yet paid for the phone..."

I registered at our departmental clinic to the doctor at 17 o'clock I come to the time - there, which is not typical, a series of retirees recorded for a earlier time.
Well, I say, fathers, what is the situation here?
You can see the eclipse of the moon today. Stay quiet, you will be here today. :D
I: Shock: Well no, I’ll go home.
They said, “What do you have, seven in the shops?”
I am six :D
They say, “Well, you should be in a hurry!

Their habits:
After a quarrel at work, your colleague removed you from your Facebook friend list? In Australia, you could bring it to court and win the case. That’s what Rachel Roberts, a real estate agent, did when the “forbidden reception” was applied to her by sales chief Lisa Bird.
The behavior of Lisa Bird Rachel Roberts considered a harassment, which was for her cause of severe stress. The real estate agent appealed to the Labour Tribunal to resolve problems, and the body ruled that removing colleagues from friends could indeed be considered harassment. In the conclusion, Byrd was also accused of lack of emotional maturity and unreasonable behavior, and also stressed that she could have ignored Roberts by printing and photocopying documents for employees and not always greeted her colleague in the morning.
The court ordered Byrd to stop carrying out the hooliganism, noting that such behavior had taken place over the past two years. After examining 20 incidents, the court acknowledged the plaintiff’s rightness and stated that removing from friends on Facebook was the last drop.

xxx: Why should this foolish system break the biorhythms of people? I am a natural savage, I feel comfortable waking at night, and then sleeping for half a day. I have to get up at 7 in the morning!
You have a mortgage.

Listened to:
Did you really lose the card?
WOW: Yes
Do you block it?
Nafiga is a credit.

AA> All will be fine!
AA> do not hang us!
bbb> o_o Who are you?
aaa> * nose

XX: I live in the city of metalworkers, in the northwest of our great and mighty. I am a smoker, and the whole city is such an impression that 50% of the population smokes. So, yesterday on the street broke the lighthouse and the whole, ALL! the city, scuco, in one moment turned into a non-smoker! and :)

I read Wikipedia and found this wonderful thing:
Oboya is the largest city of all Russia, the administrative center of the Oboyan district of the Kursk region.

Razorza: The Hindu wrote to me on the job
His name is Hneefurrahman Shaikh Siddiqui.
Razorza: fucking he probably got his name when they were fucking on the keyboard
Razorza: and then just watched what happened
Octocott: I accidentally read this out loud while sitting in a restaurant and I was brought a boiled basil.

My mom works in a pharmacy. Definitely a lot of stories can be heard from her. For example, here is one of them:

There comes a sad young man, so sad.
“Please,” she says, “give me a pregnancy test.
Do you need valerian? The mother of a friend asks.
The young man breathed very sadly.
Three days later, he came back, alive and cheerful.
- You know, valerian helped - the test is negative!
I have no doubt, I will recommend it to everyone! His friend’s mother answered him.

News: "In Canada invented warm wet wipes".
Commentary: "That is the same. The world is ruled by cats!"

If the doctor is confident in the diagnosis, he will describe the symptoms for you.

I went to the hospital for a drug certificate. I go into the office and ask if I have 5 thousand. I said that there is, honestly not understanding why he should know it, if I am not a drug addict and I will pass the checks without bribery. Then the doctor told me to show my bills. I get money confused. And then he says, "Give a certificate, you are healthy, the drug addicts have no such money!"

Before I wanted to make a million, then I agreed to win it, now I am ready to steal it.

Programming in the team:
Better to write normally.
XXX: Let’s start wearing clothes.
YYY: And we leave it.

Jee: We had a sanitary technician... Palych... but all of him was called the Fucking Commander.

How I really like the idea heard somewhere: to pay our footballers the salary by means of paid text messages, such as charitable aid all the way they collect. The better they played, the more pleased - the more messages with a certain amount received from the fans. Honestly, you played badly – you won’t get a niqab.

But some seven years ago people simply laughed at my "joke" about the fact that soon when you go to the site you will have to first look at the advertising block...

111: I consume 1500 kilocalories per hour
This is not the limit.

Now I understand why you are holding your pants on the avatar.