bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №116652
 29.07.2015
This is:
I enter the office, I have time to hear a fragment of the conversation of the girls: - And so that he doesn't go, you cut the spine in the area of the head. Weak sex, ah... I’m afraid to fall asleep."
The girls meant the cleaning of fish)if the fish is fresh and alive so that it does not shake you need to cut near the head))))

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116651
 29.07.2015
Review in the online store on the phone SENSEIT:
Really very durable. The past Nokia died during the rain in the forest, this at least henna. He remained a target even after charging the phone of the Uzbek in his forehead.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116650
 29.07.2015
When I was 3 years old, I stayed alone for a day in a locked room in a military dormitory. He knew where the food was and, of course, where the pot was. In the mode of "day after day", the mother wiped out all her service. It was perfectly normal to think about eating not only to yourself, but to her too.
Straga: You must definitely show this quote to your child (just 3 years in September). and what? Dad and mom from work tired come and the house is not cleaned and the table is not covered!! to

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №116649
 29.07.2015
And my 5 copies about dogs.
She went to work past the industrial zone, and there a bunch of wandering dogs is forever mistaken. One of them flew out on me and I shouted at her from surprise: “Why are you laughing at me?”The dog was confused, stuck and cried, and I barely added to work, bending from laughter. Here they are, the bad boys.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116648
 29.07.2015
Why hasn’t the version that Kurt Cobain might have ordered his own murder ever been considered seriously?
Alcoholic K. Cobain ordered drug addict K. Cobain to murder musician K. Cobain. The perpetrator injected the victim with a heroin injection and shot him in the head from close distance. Condemnation of the organizer and performer is not possible in connection with death from gunshot wounds on the background of drug overdose.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116647
 29.07.2015
For a long time I could not remember how it was written: professional or professionalAnal. In the end, I remembered this: a professional does not do it through his ass!

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116646
 29.07.2015
Talk about hurricanes, dust storms and other phenomena, when walking on the street can cover up some ugliness in the form of a shiffer, topol, etc.
Dmitry: I remember after the thunderstorm-wind I walk on the alley - there is a branch from the topol, like a hand thick, and a bloodshed... and a path of blood... so that I topol side, and that there falls even more often?
Max is server.
Dmitry: the point :))))

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116645
 29.07.2015
From chat, talk about children’s upbringing:

Physical punishment even in chat is prohibited
hhh: here it is not even possible to advise r***ka to go*****

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №116644
 29.07.2015
here

Buying soap and teeth for the whole family, only my husband managed to buy the same towels and toothbrushes for all family members.

_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

My husband thinks you’re a team.

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №116643
 29.07.2015
It is easier to get into the asphalt of a person than on the street.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №116642
 29.07.2015
A few years ago, such a lovely story happened to me. I drive on the HondaAccord (the brand of the car matters) along not the most well-equipped street in our city, rushed to decent speed and crashed into the car. The car so well jumped, landed and began to slow down gradually, until it got up at all as dug on the side. They arrived.  The first reaction - a, everything disappeared, everything broke, but then began to remember how someone told me that when the impact sensor was working, the fuel supply was blocked so that there was no fire after the accident. I get the instructions for operation, I find the section, the symptoms are similar. I read what to do next, something like "find a button under the console and press it." And to help the user a large image of the button. Thank you guys, what is a console? Well, blonde, not blonde, I don’t know what it is, I guess, of course, that’s somewhere under the appliances in the salon. I went and searched, there was nothing like that. Couldn’t the image of the button have been drawn along with this console? I call my husband, the phone is off. In other words trouble. I go out on the road, it starts to rain, I raise my hand calling for help to the brothers-car drivers. The cars are few, and everyone passes by.Suddenly a healthy jeep appears on the horizon. Very large and clearly not new, bought at the time as a symbol of "life succeeded". A sharp stop near me almost in the middle of the road, out of the car comes a dark man under two meters tall, with the figure and nose of the former fighter, but already had time to take a decent size of the stomach. Motherhood, in one word. At the harsh question, “What happened, mother?” I timidly extend the instructions to him, pointing my finger to the image of the button, and asking where to look for it. After carefully studying the text and image, without asking a single question, he sits on the front seat and by some miracle almost all leaves under the wheel all his 150 kg and 2 meters, something is out there, appears back with a calm: "Everything is okay, you can go." I drive the car and everything works. I was so struck by the lightning repair of my ashes that I appealed enthusiastically to the savior with a scream: “Thank you! You are a very good man!” Apparently, nobody called my savior good for a long time, he suddenly smiled like a child: "Well, so what, there was a thing here"... A good man checked out the oil for me, something there was still in the hood for a long time, gave a visit card for every chance and blessed for a seamless driving. I have been driving since then, and sometimes I remember that there are still such good people in the world. and :)

[ + 47 - ] Comment quote №116641
 29.07.2015
The main thing in a war is not to win, the main thing is not to participate in it.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116640
 29.07.2015
"Zeva" is underworking: the sludge is just dissolved, and the cellophane envelope from four rolls is still dragged to the garbage...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116639
 29.07.2015
The criterion for the civilization of the world must be the sense of humor. Sometimes a monkey can laugh, but it takes a sufficiently developed speech to tell an anecdote and see the whispering faces of the interlocutors.

KIR BULYCHEV

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №116638
 29.07.2015
by Kreosan:
Requires resistors of 100 kW, 5 watts, 50 000 volts. I tried a lot of factory resistors, but none of them could withstand such tension – the bow broke over the body and nothing worked. Careful grinding gave an unexpected answer: the masters, who assembled Marx's generator at a voltage of more than 100,000 volts, used the complex liquid resistors of Marx's generator on liquid resistors, or used a lot of steps. I wanted something simpler and made resistors from wood.

He broke off on the street two flat branches of raw wood (dry current does not lead) and turned on the first branch instead of a group of resistors to the right of the condensators, the second branch instead of a group of resistors to the left of the condensators. It resulted in two branches with many conclusions across equal distances. I made the conclusions by wrapping the naked wire over the branches. As experience shows, such resistors can withstand tensions of dozens of megavolts (10 000 000 volts)

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116637
 29.07.2015
zzz: Once I heard GlucOZ without a faner - I was so pleased! Her voice is weak, not yet crucified, a little childish, the range is not very, but you can hear that SAMA sings. I think "vo gives, girl, smart just!" And then the producer runs out and cancels the concert because of "a sound problem"...

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116636
 29.07.2015
The female essence is:

I want him to write to me.
Why Why?
Not to answer him.
He will write to you later.
I don’t want to answer him now.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116635
 29.07.2015
xxx, I understand it all.
Quadrocopters were invented by men who were often told that a helicopter on radio control was for children! and :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №116634
 29.07.2015
Strange things about the brain.
You are going to sleep and the computer is off. Then suddenly, there is a bat! - in the head arises from anywhere take the phrase "push engine". And immediately it becomes necessary to find out what it is and how it looks. The internet is off! And to fall asleep without this necessary for some reason at night looking at the knowledge of this sinful force is not possible!
And here you go looking for your father’s old car repair book, and there is happiness! There is even a picture with a visual schematic image of this wonderful mechanism.
and all! Now the satisfied brain will let you sleep.
And here’s the most interesting thing about all this – why did I need this information about the forsunka?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116633
 29.07.2015
Not everything in the primary. There are cows on other cars ?
— — — —
I already wanted to shrink from the "in the primary", but after this comment I still smiled :) Thank you, good man.

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