bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116072
 14.07.2015
The Ministry of Internal Affairs is ordered to cut every tenth employee.

Who was joking about decimation a few years ago?

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116071
 14.07.2015
This is how we have creative young people. Take the example of zombies, rank in other costumes and scare children. Where will such young people take the country? Zombies today, gay tomorrow and after tomorrow.
Afternoon and Wednesday afternoon.

[ + 32 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116070
 14.07.2015
XXX is
Assessment of:
Corn beans were invented by the Kellogg brothers. John Harvey Kellogg and Will Kate Kellogg were Seventh-day Adventists and led a strict lifestyle that prohibited the consumption of meat, alcohol, tobacco, tea, and coffee. Milk and eggs were allowed in limited quantities. Their parents were opposed to their children being educated because they believed that Christ would come earlier than expected. Nevertheless, John still obtained a medical degree and soon became the head of the Seventh-day Adventist Medical Center.

He was categorically against masturbation, which he considered an act of madness. He even believed that the men noticed in this act should sew the limb, and women poured carbolic acid on the clitoris. In addition, he believed that meat was one of the causes of sexual desires that subsequently led to masturbation, so he focused on foods rich in grains. He invented corn beans as a grain-based food, which was meant to protect people from being killed.

YYY
I suggest that this text be placed on every box of corn flakes.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116069
 14.07.2015
Debugger: No one will ever send Windows developers to the forestry. They will cut down the trees.

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №116068
 14.07.2015
Tell me, Grey, are you Russian?
OOO OOO OOO!
So tell me, Russian... Did you dive in the winter?
Wow yes, every week. As a bathroom and cut!
How did you swim this summer?
Oh yeah, you are cold!
The milk...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №116067
 14.07.2015
Sound quality is 24kbps. My grandmother told me stories when I was a child, and that with a big beat...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116066
 14.07.2015
Here's a computer joke from a puppy face. Just to think!
I go on the street.
I hear someone beating.
I encourage myself.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116065
 14.07.2015
A mouse was killed at work. I sit with my colleagues in the smoking room and talk.
My mouse is dead.
Must be buried.
The singing?
I don’t know what religion she belongs to, so I’ll be buried in silence.
Well, by the whole rope, two religions disappear.
c) the iBurokrat

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116064
 14.07.2015
Mu ma: well I alternate, then I am a lady, or even vodka will not give up)))

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №116063
 14.07.2015
Helldogtiapa: I want to say to people who boast of football fans, who, after a match, seem to wander at night under the windows, scream and shout in vuvuzels, that I am ridiculous about their ridiculous claims. They don’t know life!
Helldogtiapa: I know life. For several nights in a row under our windows, graduates-baumans in the pelvis ride here and there.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116062
 14.07.2015
The representative of the passport table walks through the apartments and collects passports, after the work, the citizens themselves take the passports or the representative spreads through the apartments.
– – – – –
And then citizens are surprised to find out who is late payment on some loan, who has failed to pay taxes on some company belonging to them, in addition to already bankrupt. You read for general development, to whom a citizen can give his passport - only to police representatives during the execution. The rest do not have the right to take the document out of the sight of this citizen - in order to avoid such cases. The representative of the passport desk can steal other people's documents on the way to the passport table, and who will be responsible for this?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116061
 14.07.2015
the husband came with an independent examination (accident, auto damage assessment for insurance)
He brought the church calendar and the printed prayer of St. Paul. Prince Vladimir

He said that they were given
You can’t cry or laugh.


[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №116060
 14.07.2015
This is five!
The news:
The plane on solar cells, the batteries burned!"
The path of Icarus is a repeat of the past.
:D

[ + 38 - ] Comment quote №116059
 14.07.2015
The Seed of Desire is an anti-utopia novel by writer Anthony Burgess (1962).
Due to the shortage of resources and overpopulation, the government encourages various methods of reducing fertility. State agencies are engaged in grotesque advertising and propaganda of homosexuality, homosexuals have advantages over heterosexuals in promoting on the official ladder. Some people pretend to be homosexual in order to obtain material goods, secretly having mistresses.
It’s all described long ago.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №116058
 14.07.2015
Chanson is when a man cannot not sing. But I would very much like him to be able.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №116057
 14.07.2015
(from one of the women’s websites)
...I wonder what is meant by the words "appropriate response"? Men and women have a different understanding of this expression. If for a guy to adequately react to "coming drunk in the middle of the night" it is to understand, to forgive, to sleep, to feed in the morning. So the woman is quite adequate to wrap a scandal on this topic))

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №116056
 14.07.2015
222 performs upgrades of servers outside of working (customer) time.
There was this dialogue today:
111: Why are you not working?
222: Because it is working time!
111: O_o

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116055
 14.07.2015
– – – – –
Jesus himself was circumcised, because he was a Muslim.
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

What is it???O O O O O O O O O
Get rid of it, eh?

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №116054
 14.07.2015
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! What did you load me? - shouted Neo, running with a gasoline pile after monsters.

[ + 30 - ] [3 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №116053
 14.07.2015
Because there are informal rules, and they must be followed. It was and will always be.
— — — —
Everything I owe is written in the Tax Code, everything I owe is written in the Criminal Code. Go to the bathroom with your "unofficial" norms, and there observe them, I will fool them.

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