bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115392
 28.06.2015
Recently, I had to refuel at the village gas station. It was a bit surprising that the 92nd there was a ruble cheaper than the regional monopoly. When he walked from the box office, he noticed an advertisement on the column: "The 80th gasoline is not." And only later, by the knock of the engine, I realized where they went in the 80s.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115391
 28.06.2015
Here you laugh at the girls, say, only met the guy, and mentally already married him, and gave birth to children...
In fact, everything is simple: every girl is a geneticist in the shower, here she pretends in her mind what could come from this phenotype - yellow smooth or green wrinkles.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115390
 28.06.2015
I ask my husband if I have thick legs.
He looks at me from foot to head and says:
No, not the fat. You are all normal. You only get a puddle...
The curtain.and :-)

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115389
 27.06.2015
here here :

So I didn’t understand why a man who licked a frog was arrested".
What idiots are they?
They would have arrested Ivan Tsarevich when he kissed a frog.
Man has a personal life.
Not everybody gets to meet at IETRO.
-------

Cruel treatment of animals.
He licked and arranged his personal life, and she may not want to.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115388
 27.06.2015
I will support the high-growth meeting movement.

The boy grows 186. Smolensk, on the 4th, at 7 p.m., near Turkin. Identification signs are not required. Although the hell with him, wear bracelets, or I will get to know half of Smolensk.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115387
 27.06.2015
My aunt worked in some organization, the job was to sit on the phone. Worked relatively recently.
She worked out her shift, there were 10 minutes until the end, a colleague-change came. This colleague (K) liked to come early, remove the phone from the phone (type is busy) and snoop. And aunt (T) never left before the deadline, so I had to communicate with this special sometimes. Once there was such a dialogue:
Q: Do you know a "such" employee?
T: not
Q: a "such" and more "such"?
T: No, I have a very narrow circle of communication.
Q: (happy) here, our organization will help you solve this problem!
T: This is not a problem, but the result of a long and focused effort.
It was finally time to drop off, leaving the colleague to digest the dialogue. But after that, excessive talkability and stiffness as a hand removed.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115386
 27.06.2015
Theory of State and Law:
A non-legal state is a state where there is no law.
Teacher: Then give an example of such a state.
Student:...Eye... The Penguin State in Antarctica.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115385
 27.06.2015
This individual:
– – – –
Faces of female sex:
This is :
Do you know why? Sex is needed.
Only the guys. The girls are not tired.
Stay up. And the "confession of the girl with the wild
A little "which has recently broken down.
Probably written by her husband, who
I want to believe that the girl is real.
is waiting.
– – – –
Such reviews are usually written by guys.
Those who are categorically not given.
I am married twice, I am responsible.
I say, boy, you are wrong.

– – – – –
The first man is wrong. From the face of the female sex, I confirm that we need sex no less than the male.
– – – – –
The question. So why are you out?
– – – – –
Not to be in bed with someone like you.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115384
 27.06.2015
He went out and tried to get a cat. I thought I could find a private person for a rehearsal, cuddled at a profiteek, found a couple of candidates, started calling. When the third person asked me if the cat would get into a mess.I changed my mind. taken to the shelter.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115383
 27.06.2015
"A man who licked a frog is arrested"
What idiots are they?
They would have arrested Ivan Tsarevich when he kissed a frog.
Man has a personal life.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №115382
 27.06.2015
The lower town writes:
Something I’ve been telling everybody lately that I’m from Gorky. Or you say that from Nizhny Novgorod, everyone thinks that from Tagil, you say that from Nizhny Novgorod, everyone thinks that from Novgorod. A city in the shadow. and

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115381
 27.06.2015
Why do you have the internet on your phone? No, well, I also listen to music from the phone and read books, but they are downloaded from a large comp, but I didn't need a direct internet on the phone.
YYYY: Yeah, you didn’t go with the light to eat.
What does the light have to do with it?
Yyy: Light loves exotic cuisine, Indian there, Vietnamese. And when I order a dish with her from the menu, I want to know that the eggs that are in the dish do not belong to a livestock.

[ + 17 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115380
 27.06.2015
Ladies and gentlemen, gathering on July 3 in China-City, let us, following the tradition, put on white bracelets for the meeting? They are easy to make from a simple strip of paper using a stepler, but they will greatly simplify the first steps in communication.
Good luck and see you soon ;)

[ + 41 - ] Comment quote №115379
 27.06.2015
Turkey is harming children. I left my daughter (10 years) for 5 minutes on the water slopes. I complain with the cocktailman, and this pitcher is already jumping from the highest and fastest hillside and at the same time orët bass: "for airborne!!and "

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115378
 27.06.2015
XHH: In our news, we bound one local chinous who tried to squeeze the new Mazda car from the local businessman, oh how!
Masdaimstvo is the oldest tradition in Russia!!! to

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №115377
 27.06.2015
I was just born in the office.
We have postcards, as many where by names. The guy, in view of a hard-to-pronounce surname, hence an incomprehensible to the hearing email address, was limited to the initials ass@...
Now we sit down, chew and imagine a situation when the client asks where to write.
As usual he answers:
- Write: "Es", the dog...
The following is the standard pro "es" question:
- "S" as the dollar?
RJ and I give you the answer:
-No, "S" as a shit...

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115376
 27.06.2015
In principle, if you explain to the population that Americans are testing climate weapons, rainwater cancellation can no longer be installed.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №115375
 27.06.2015
Neradence: In general, they are cute. I saw it in Dumbarton. They are so furry and look like a cow. Only small ones.
The bonsai cows.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115374
 27.06.2015
As a true fan of horror films, I declare responsibly that there will NEVER be a chair in my house.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115373
 27.06.2015
It is the fact that with the desire everything is fine from the beginning, and the feelings - tu-tu. Again, from the beginning. But the most unclear thing for me is why her desire still remains? Because personally for me each time is quite painful emotionally.
Sexologist – where to find a good one? Those that are types - look like those guesses, can you believe them?
-
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh It doesn’t end, and you’re upset? Are you still showing her that?
Stop pressing her with your expectations. It’s unrealistic when a man thinks I should have an orgasm five times, like in porn. Okay one of them. But definitely must. I don't know how others do, but I need to relax, and not think about the fact that "see, you need to finish, you need to finish, or he will be upset and will go for another week and produce cockroaches for himself." I usually drive halfway. But this is when they begin to look with a dog's gaze, in which the silent question "what? All of it? Are you everything? Well when? What is it now?" Everything falls and I become impotent.

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