bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115292
 25.06.2015
If your life is a fairy tale, you are an Ivanushka idiot.

[ + 48 - ] Comment quote №115291
 25.06.2015
The teacher just told me:
I’ve never seen striptease and one day, my friends and I gathered together and went to the Hans restaurant, ordered a table and waited for a performance. It is 12 a.m. and the show has not yet begun. The manager meets me:
If dinner is at our expense, will you leave?
What is it?
Students are embarrassed to speak.

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №115290
 25.06.2015
A little-known fact is that if you cut off the head of an official, he can steal for another 20 minutes.

[ + 23 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115289
 25.06.2015
Do you know how the compiler was originally called in the USSR? The PP!
111 and why? and :)
Chapter 222: Programming
222: It is logical :)
111: (disappointed) Well, so I don’t play... :)

[ + 24 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115288
 25.06.2015
I am Cyrus Abigor Scorpion Collins-Lestrange. The Demon of War and the Best Warrior of Lucifer

Hello to you, Kira. I am Lily.

[ + 27 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115287
 25.06.2015
I don’t know who writes the descriptions to porn videos, but fucking...
A young family couple decided to shoot a home video so as to immediately be nominated for an Oscar. <...> As for the final, it is worthy of applause, even if the palms of the spectators are still busy. Still, there are people in our country who know how to shoot, and not just move their moustaches and open snacks.
I think that’s great ><

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115286
 25.06.2015
XXX (on our acquaintance): It must be thrown into the back of the enemy. Everyone will think first what a cute girl, and then once! No one noticed it, but everyone had their brains removed.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №115285
 25.06.2015
I climb the escalator in the shopping center.
I hear a conversation between two glamorous children:

HH: And why are they putting restrictions so that both of us can’t go through?

This is so that the fat can not get up.

HHH: It is right. If you are fat, there is nothing to go here.

WOW : Yes. Certainly.


[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №115284
 25.06.2015
Sitting in one of the cafés, I watched the following picture: a couple were sitting at the table, communicating. Among them was a girl, a whisper of a hopeless kind, who began to get upset about something. After five minutes of chatting with her boyfriend, she gives out a phrase that made me stumble:
Now you will suck yourself!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115283
 25.06.2015
xxx: it’s so fair that it allows the bots in the CC to play a round after their death!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №115282
 25.06.2015
I.nerevar: My wife and I have complete harmony. I sometimes download any Ashdi porn, look at it, and then quickly shamefully remove it. She has the same with melodramas :)

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №115281
 25.06.2015
here here :
In our case, the accounting department also considered itself the most important department until the order came to optimize the state.
– – – –
Give me a guess - half were fired, the remaining were hijacked with all the work for the same money, they were fired themselves, and your firm gave outsourcing accounting? And now it is done by the same people as before, but working in a specialized accounting firm, and much more expensive?
– – – – –
No, it is too smart. Go on the Russian path. Half of them were fired, the rest were paid all the work for the same money, they were fired themselves. For a penny they recruited yesterday’s students, who ruined everything to the whores. Half of them were released and a new one was collected. Since then there no one knows anything about what and where it grows, in a bunch with a crazy flow of personnel. The incoming smart people immediately drown in this bunch of shit, parallel to the understations of colleagues who, against its background, do not want to look stupid.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №115280
 25.06.2015
The Tester (T) and Component Manager (CM) discuss the cause of the failure:
SM: Servac is ancient, resources are lacking.
Q: What if you turn off something unnecessary?
SM: In order to turn off something unnecessary, we must first polish something unnecessary, and we have no resources.

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115279
 25.06.2015
All my life I thought of myself as a piranha, until I got an office shredder in my hands.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №115278
 25.06.2015
Once 10 years ago, when two of my acquaintances gave birth to daughters at 16 years old, I thought of their daughters: "The program at least - to finish school, get the certificate and not give birth during this time.

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №115277
 25.06.2015
Max Olin
by 9 h. Yekaterinburg, Sverdlovsk Oblast ·

Until yesterday, I would estimate the chances of hiding from the rains in an unknown bakery with black rashman as minimal.

[ + 16 - ] Comment quote №115276
 25.06.2015
I have the feeling that Martin has hamsters with the names of the PliP heroes. You understand the principle...

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №115275
 25.06.2015
It is said that “the Constitution is written with blood.”
And cookbooks, as I suspect, are written with diarrhea...

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115274
 25.06.2015
by marmy62: delmar
"router which is needed" naming topics on forum dns)))
And the second part"Router and the Secret Proxy""Router and the Philosophical User"
by Delmar :D

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №115273
 25.06.2015
So it was already:

Instead of the "motivation folder" I now read the "motivation stick".
This says a lot about my motivation.

The Stick for Motivation is the Stimulus

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