bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110849
 18.03.2015
xxx: The task was from the Goblins to kill the forest drian, and she gave the task to kill the Goblins. I thought... and killed them all, and I took the reward from the bodies.

[ + 42 - ] Comment quote №110848
 18.03.2015
My cat smells of cat food.
My cat smells like a cat.
zzz: It seems, guys, you are smelling cats from different sides.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110847
 18.03.2015
Yes, many children really do not understand the meaning of many ordinary words. A couple of years ago, a student came to the library of the Technicum (note - a student, not a second-class student) and asked the librarian to give him the "Christ Mother". I still cry when I remember those naive and honest eyes.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110846
 18.03.2015
It’s just a whisper and daylight.
Cut the tokamak into metal. It may be the first and last of the most technological that remains in the country, some do not understand who dismantled the metal! How is this possible??? Is the "buy a warhead from the Russians" not a joke and an anecdote, but a reality?

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110845
 18.03.2015
She spoke at work with her colleague:
He: In general, the nicer a girl is, the more I suspect that she has a lot of cosmetics on her face. And your cosmetics are generally burning.
He: Once I press my face to my wide chest - and all, a beige spot from powder or tonal. Then you wash it thoroughly, and one figure can see a fat spot on the light.
I: It turns out that we need to embrace carefully, like sumoists, only to distract not only the poop, but also to move away from the face?
He: Well, in general, the more beautiful a girl, the more carefully you need to embrace her!
I: Oh, so it turns out, the degree of strength and accuracy of your arms is the criterion of the beauty of a girl?
He is AHA. Come here, I will embrace you!
He embraces me. Strong and strong hugs >_<

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110844
 18.03.2015
About the Iskander...
A Caucasian shepherd has a friend named Iskander.
When guests from Germany came to him, a friend's phrase: "You don't get close to the barracks, or Iskander will fly out." - scared them the most. Now they think that in every Russian barracks the Iskander are hidden.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110843
 18.03.2015
Denisslavin: If women who have sex on camera are called porn actresses, then I, judging by the videos from the phone, are brilliantly able to play the roles of alcoholics.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110842
 18.03.2015
Not in the eyebrow, but in the eye. On the website "Exmo" Rosenthal book "Russian language. Exercises and comments" is in the "Fantasy and Fantasy" section

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №110841
 18.03.2015
Another scream of the soul, Yeshkin Nebbarmek! Both dogs and people. You don’t have to put everything on bucharics, dogs, or marsians. Dog owners should clean up for dogs. Mothers, who sometimes urgently have to arrange for children to crawl on the street, are obliged to dig a hole quickly with at least a shoe knife and then bury it at least approximately (and it is desirable to still drop off the side of the pedestrian trails). Sweeteners and beer drinkers should throw their papers and bottles into the urns or eat them with the contents. Do you understand? Everyone has to clean up, regardless of what they are doing. The shit on the streets is not because of somebody. Everything is fine, stop bite.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110840
 18.03.2015
The names again.
My name is Eugene, they accept Jeanne. My mother was called Zhou as a child.
My aunt, again in my childhood (by ignorance of English and even with them language names) called Jennifer.
But she killed her girlfriend by naming (after telling about her aunt) Jennifer Boy. He still plays at me.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110839
 17.03.2015
Commentary on the review of the quadrocopter for aerial video.
xxx: and if the battery is completely seated, will this thing fall?
yyy: no, she’ll hang on, and you’ll have to go home down the stairs to get her, or you’ll be knocking down with sticks

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110838
 17.03.2015
(from JJ, talk about the demands of emotions on the part of the lover):

No, what a shame it is. You just pretended whether to whiten the ceiling in the bedroom above your head and how much paint to buy, and it has some ridiculous throwing.

by malka_lorenz

and body movements, bgg

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №110837
 17.03.2015
Self-confidence, love of oneself and so on. Grows banal paphos and overestimated self-esteem. I do not like such people, they cause irritation and disgust. Girls who are insecure and with low (but not too) self-esteem are offgenic!!! to
It is....
Just die here. Self-confidence and self-love nurture an adequate self-esteem. And for such animals, yes, the lower the self-esteem at the goal, the easier it is to use.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110836
 17.03.2015
A man came to me here. Then threatening began.
I will multiply you by zero.
I told him that I would divide it by zero.
He is dependent :D

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №110835
 17.03.2015
Test in Computer Science:
Which button to turn on the computer?
Yes Yes
– No

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110834
 17.03.2015
Old but pleased. How can you fight a country in which even in biathlon are played on tanks?

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110833
 17.03.2015
xxx: Skype has updated, placed the Bing plug-in for Chrome without permission and considered its task done, so it no longer works.
The [...]
xxx: By the way, Chrome announced that the Bing plugin was installed without request and immediately removed it. The corporate competition, hey!

[ + 32 - ] Comment quote №110832
 17.03.2015
In the chat, two people disputed, and then the third issued:

You have some kind of dispute:
I tell you that milk is white.
No, his cow gives!
No, the white shit!
Who is the goat, fucking?! to
You Dalton, it is white!
Do you distinguish a cow from a goat?! to

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110831
 17.03.2015
Great comments to photos on Facebook
Man 1 - Where are you?
2 I drink with you.

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №110830
 17.03.2015
Do you sort the rubbish?
Only by date.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna