bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110189
 04.03.2015
Two electrons are flying, one with a half-whole spin, the other also receives a photon.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110188
 04.03.2015
As a result, the girls were nicknamed "untouchable bicycle" - everyone wants to ride, but no one has yet managed.

If anyone does not know, I am a sociopath. He is now happily married and his wife knows it.
and...
Oh you sociopath! and married! Comrade, read the description of the disease, don't worry anymore and listen to your mom)))

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110187
 04.03.2015
Anna: and we have the project gone, sadness, sadness and melancholy

Ivan: What did you leave?

Anna: and said that we give him too many orders through the online store, customer support does not cope, so he will go to the contractor who did heroic

Ivan: O_o

I am serious.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110186
 04.03.2015
Am I a beast shaking or wearing a cotton?

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №110185
 04.03.2015
Be a fool and no one will wipe your feet.

[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №110184
 04.03.2015
Kirill (2 years 1 month) on the street saw a man coming out of the entrance and, without excessive greetings, addresses him:
Have you walked?
The man replied eagerly:
and AGA.
Wearing a hat?
and yes.
and daywear. It is cold. Very cold.

[ + 27 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110183
 04.03.2015
According to modern conceptions, there are 100 billion galaxies in the visible part of the universe. Each galaxy has an average of 100 billion stars. Humanity is extremely mistaken that with this economy God has a business before us.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110182
 04.03.2015
You have compared:

Yes, guys... That’s what I didn’t expect, so that there will be a bunch of comments on this site about the death of Nemtsov, and none about Leonard Nimoy... Now, for sure, who will ask.

Nimoy died of chronic obstructive lung disease at the age of 83, without drama, politics, conspiracies and shootings. Peace to the great Spock, of course, but this is not to be a strong shock.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №110181
 04.03.2015
On Friday, the husband asked for a roulette biscuit - he baked
On Saturday, his friends came unexpectedly - he cooked it.
On Sunday, Grandma and Grandpa had to drink tea again.
When the roulette last roulette ended, Sanek claims "mam, is it true? you baked three roulettes and none of them gave me a piece, they all ate without me(((((( and I also wanted" well, in general, a tribute to the topic "how to live hard not to eat biscuits";;

I, restoring justice, urgently baking the fourth roulette, fiercely protecting it from husband and eldest son - "this is Sane, you have left him nothing from the past, this I hell for him!!and "

Sanya returns from a walk, I give him a roulette.
Sanya - "mama, give Dad and Rome, I don't want" - :shock: :shock: - "I don't like sweets at all and I won't eat roulette"

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110180
 04.03.2015
Speaking of hints about sex. In my youth and adolescence I was very stressful. Greasy, filled and spotted (Hello Harmony). But there was one chip, I offered the guys sex in direct text alone, they agreed because they were teenagers, but didn’t tell because I was eager and laughed.
Parallel to this was the harassment of beautiful girls by prostitutes, although they were not in one eye.

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №110179
 04.03.2015
Every year, I go through the medical commission, I say to the eye, I need glasses, I see herovato. You’re okay, you don’t need glasses. If not, I see only three lines above. No, it is all normal.
I went to the doctor again today. I am silent, I am not complaining. You probably have Nnada glasses. The Finger! It is done! I ask for how many years. In the Commission? YES is! The neger on the commission to ask, on the commission everything is okay, sign up for the reception - we will write out your eyes.
Couldn’t it be said before?

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №110178
 04.03.2015
Once a girl invites a guy for sex, it means she already wants to. So why should a guy "struggle to make it"? Here and it turns out that the guy was right, who recently wrote here that girls consider sex an unreasonable favor on their part.
and...
Wow, invited such, you came, she split up, and it smells of her, or a rash of unclear genesis, or something else repulsive. Will you jump on her anyway? Did he want? As much as he wants, he will want to do if you do something that seems disgusting or dangerous to the girl.

[ + 21 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №110177
 04.03.2015
About "Eternal engines" and patents on them:
I also have a friend who works in the patent office. They pulled him somehow a piece of cloth rotating, squeezed in the face and, like, “Patent I want.” After the question of what patent to be issued, the answer followed: "The engine is eternal!". There was a brief dialogue between (Z)Nakim and (I)inventor:

Q: What is your engine?
He hasn’t stopped here for a few months.
Q: Do you know the difference between the eternal mechanism and the eternal engine?
and :?? to
A: The engine does a useful job, i.e. It gives energy for something, and the mechanism is simply encircled in something within itself.
And (thinking) that it is a great way to drive away the flies!
Z (turning the paper in the tube): This is what perfectly drives away the flies, and even destroys them, and it is definitely enough for my life.

The inventor never appeared again and the flow of scientists sharply declined.
And I advise you, comrades readers, to remember the difference between the eternal engine and the mechanism.

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110176
 04.03.2015
Ostap Bender decided that staying in a hotel in the sight of the whole city runs out of the framework of the hidden affair and gives him unnecessary officiality. Read in the Black Sea party announcement: “Sd. by Pr. by Kom. V. by Ud. V. n. m. from by IN. The move.”
And in an instant realized that the announcement meant, “A beautiful room with all the amenities and views of the sea seems to a lonely, intelligent single man.”

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110175
 04.03.2015
And individual female individuals try and continue to bind everything to the responsibility of the man - and their own feelings from sex, and the opportunity to be excited and in general the entire family life.
_______________________________________________________

This is the "Note" How many can be repeated to you - a hundred books have already been written about this: the mechanism of female excitement is different from the male. According to the slogans, a man and a woman are excited in different ways. Again: purely physically, a woman is harder to get excited, you know?
And now if someone has the idea that it's harder - it's their problem, start doing a good career or a lucrative business right now. Because if you don’t have the money to buy a prostitute (of any kind) that you don’t need to arouse, it’s a good idea to welcome you to a society of lonely victims and haters of women. You have not been given or thrown, and you will not be given or thrown.

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №110174
 04.03.2015
A: What does this page design tell us about?
B: It’s time for me to go for lunch.
A: Why is it?! to
B: Because it’s all about me now!

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №110173
 04.03.2015
Capet... I decided on Saturday to correct my proga, which I wrote in 2013... So many matts in 8 hours to my own address I have not yet pronounced... xD Chepushilo added no comment I didn’t think about...

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №110172
 04.03.2015
XXX: Are you investing?
YYYYYYYYYYYYY Investing potatoes in the land.
XXX: And what percentage?
YYY: You never dreamed of that. Do not hinder work. The wise man was found.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №110171
 04.03.2015
On the one hand, it is good that the Android shows how many hours you have to sleep if you fall asleep right now, but on the other hand - 4 hours and 38 minutes.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №110170
 04.03.2015
Every divorce is based on one characteristic of a person. The greed. The desire to do nothing and get a lot of money. If you do not suffer from this, then you will never conduct a divorce.
-------------------------
Do not chase. Different types of divorces rely on different human desires, fears or feelings.
Marriage offenders pressure on a person's desire to find happiness in personal life.
"Open your business" pressure on the desire of a person to self-realize.
"Mom, I got in an accident, I was sent over the money" pressed on the natural fear of the child.
"Pay for treatment of Vanechka"push for love for children
"Open the kingdom of heaven" is pressured to fear death or punishment of higher powers.
"Buy a vacuum cleaner" push to take care of your health.
In short, if you are a human being and have desires, feelings or fears, you have something to push for without any greed.
And only common sense and the ability to judge the situation coldly will save.

The best quotes and jokes from the bezdna