Barrymore, what is this terrible, breaking the soul, wow?
This is the Baskerville dog, sir. It was the 60th time I went for a walk.

xxx: It’s more funny when “AFRICAN AMERICAN” is called a Negro who lives, for example, in France or Uzbekistan.

Yyy: Because Afrouzbek is a shit!

Previously, citizens called home prostitutes, now in the category of illegal went manicures and hairdressers, which some unconscious people begin to slowly call home in spite of the prohibitions. I wonder what other professions will go underground? As in a popular TV show:

Hello, is this a car?

Now it is a pharmacy.

Can I wash the car?

Yes come here.

In Soviet times, as a student, he worked as an electrician in JEK. Here is a story - from a public utility apartment from a house near the TV center received a request from a grandmother that her neighbor is burning her with a laser beam! The grandmother explained that as she just went to bed, the neighbor touched her with a laser beam and her head broke. And she constantly has to move her bed to a new place, after which, for a while, she sleeps quietly until the neighbor touches her again with a laser beam. That all of her statements to the militia do not give results. I said that I am studying at the electronic university that it is not laser rays, but electromagnetic torsified fields. My grandmother immediately realized that she was a specialist in the field. After that, I cleaned the steam heating battery with a stitch, pulled the bed to the battery and wrapped the bed with a bare wire to the battery. Grandma explained that as soon as the torsion fields touch the bed, the wires will go into the battery, and then into the ground. That the grandmother herself will soon make sure that her head will no longer hurt, and the neighbor will walk evil. The most interesting thing is that the grandmother after repeatedly called the controller and asked to pass the electrician that her head no longer hurts, and the neighbor is walking evil! What helped my grandmother? Landing the bed or conviction? But my grandmother’s head really stopped getting sick.

During the coronavirus we seemed to be on the Titanic and even in our cabins.

In Soviet times, as a student, he worked as an electrician in JEK. Here is another story - from a public utility apartment from a house near the TV center received a request from a grandmother that her neighbor is burning her with a laser beam! The grandmother explained that as she just went to bed, the neighbor touched her with a laser beam and her head broke. And she constantly has to move her bed to a new place, after which, for a while, she sleeps quietly until the neighbor touches her again with a laser beam. That all of her statements to the militia do not give results. I said that I am studying at the electronic university that it is not laser rays, but electromagnetic torsified fields. My grandmother immediately realized that she was a specialist in the field. After that, I cleaned the steam heating battery with a stitch, pulled the bed to the battery and wrapped the bed with a bare wire to the battery. Grandma explained that as soon as the torsion fields touch the bed, the wires will go into the battery, and then into the ground. That the grandmother herself will soon make sure that her head will no longer hurt, and the neighbor will walk evil. The most interesting thing is that the grandmother after repeatedly called the controller and asked to pass the electrician that her head no longer hurts, and the neighbor is walking evil! What helped my grandmother? Landing the bed or conviction? But my grandmother’s head really stopped getting sick.

Here you laugh, and Sobyanin now translates all the contagious tiles into non-contagious.

About two months ago my grandmother had an operation.

The story of my grandmother:

“I went to the pharmacy before the operation to buy everything I needed. Among other things, let me think, I will buy a pack of medical masks, suddenly it will be useful. There were no small packages available, I took 100 pieces at once, let them be.”

Is it worth saying that in the light of recent events, the nickname "investor" has been attached to the grandmother?

When someone starts talking about corruption, I always make an analogy with the Hollywood stars. You can imagine how many crazy babies have tried to enchant Brad Pitt or Tom Hardy. And how many jealous inadequates would want to spoil some Jolie or at least Pugacheva. And with such a flow of negative energy no one would cope. So I honestly don’t understand how you can believe all this mystical shit.

If adults, sitting at home, can still do something, then it is very difficult for children.

I see, my girl is sitting (8 years old), not knowing where to go, thinking for a long time about something.

Then he comes and asks:

- What do you think, the colobok did the right thing to leave my grandmother and grandfather?

I say :

Certainly not, they ate it.

The daughter:

- So grandmother and grandfather would have eaten him anyway, and so he at least looked at the world.

Until the people begin to understand how the fight against corruption differs from the fight against corruption, life in the country will not go well.

From Space...

What is the power, brother?
I’m probably going to write the most serious text I’ve ever written on Facebook.
Today, an event happened, which I can not realize to the end yet.
The Federal Republic of Germany, the state in which I now live and work, has transferred to me a fairly large amount of money as a financial aid to survive in quarantine.
I don’t want to write numbers, but that’s roughly my earnings in 3 months.
Translated for free. Translated today on a request that I filed just yesterday. Translated despite the fact that I am not a citizen of this country. Translated without requesting any papers or confirmations.
Just translated it.
And not just me, but ALL the individual entrepreneurs who have lost their jobs and earnings due to the epidemic in Berlin.
Together with me, this help received all my familiar guides, artists, owners of cafes, small hotels, restaurants and so on.
For a big business, this amount may seem small. And for us, individual entrepreneurs, this is just a very large and reliable Rescue Circle!
Why can’t I realize this yet?
For the first time in my life, I understand the concept of “government”.
And here I think...
My country was once the USSR. How did it manifest itself? “We raised you, we taught you, now you owe, owe, owe... for the good of the country.”
It was difficult for me to agree to that. My mom and dad raised me. They taught me too. But the state argued that I "should, should, and should" - to serve in the army, to live on a license, to work not where it is interesting, and where we can be useful, but on "distribution". Of course, it, the state, if I will behave well, could give me an apartment that it, the state will consider suitable for me, a sanatorium that it will assign me, and (!) Maybe even a car after the turn in 10 years.
Did I feel the USSR as my state? No is.
Then my state became the Russian Federation. She initially tried to be democratic, and the plans were very beautiful. Just didn’t come true. The “real master” came, and the attempts of democracy were canceled.
In any case, no real help to people, except,, the "mother capital" (I did not receive it, but my acquaintances received), I did not see from my state before or after.
But Germany did not become my state, for the simple reason that I did not emigrate here, I did not get citizenship, and I do not consider myself a German in any format.
Once I came here under a contract, then got a residence permit here, and since then I have lived here, worked here, paid taxes. I am a foreigner with a permanent residence permit.
But there was trouble in this country. Actually, it happened all over the world. But in this, separately taken state, they decided to help him, the state, the inhabitants in this trouble. to all. Regardless of their nationality or any other belonging... and helped.
If you are not surprised, you have read it in vain. For you, I am a naive fool.
I have never received any gifts from any country in my life. And now I got it.
What is the power, brother?
What is the power of the state?
Per not in the number of nuclear warheads?
And not in the unity of a nationalistic-minded crowd cheering the name of its state?
Maybe the strength is in the hand stretched in a difficult moment? In that most notorious "lake" that many leaders like to recall in speeches?
Today, for the first time, I learned, or rather felt, what “state” is. What is his strength.
I will be aware of this for a while.
Thank you to everyone who read to the end.

Until today, I have never wiped a bottle of vodka with alcohol.

I came to ask for your daughter’s hand.

Do you have no hands?

Yes, but she is tired.

In January, everyone wondered: what will the Year of the Rat bring us?

And only historians knew that rats usually bring plague.

Which ear to learning is deaf

A classmate in the sub-Moscow physical school, after her graduation arranged in a taxi. And not in the Moscow taxi park with great earnings opportunities, but in the Mytishchynsk. He drove people on the route of one of the city buses there and back. They were attacked by bandits. They threw a string behind and tried to stifle. I saved a little bit. He responded in time, put his hand, turned away. He suffered heavily - one ear was completely cut, one half, the tip of the nose was still stuck and the fingers.

The broken ear was swallowed, the tip of the nose was blinded by a new one, we have another classmate - the chief surgeon of the district hospital. The second, I couldn’t do it.

Such this surgeon with the help of some there artist on dental protheses licked him polyurethane no worse. On the type of the current double scotch.

So Andrew, sitting behind the wheel, sometimes forgot about such a prothesis, led him to scratch, his ear rolled away, which led him to anger. And with the words "wow, shit" he threw him over the torpedo.

Two night passengers came out of the window.

Putin comes into the bar and says:
All beer at the expense!

At what age did you kiss for the first time?

YYY: at 23

ZZZ: 22 for you

YYY: But I very hopefully

How lucky that parliamentary immunity against coronavirus is not spread

Faith in People and Covid-19 



We are a young family with a child. We don’t have our own home yet, so we rent it from others. And today the landlord wrote that in connection with the quarantine rental for the next two months for us is 7 tons instead of 15 tons. (The prices are not Moscow, but for us tangible. Only one of us works. I, of course, greatly stunned at first, I rather believed that we would have to pay for something else from above, so I trust people. But when everything was explained to me, tears began to turn into my eyes. We rented a lot of houses, but I don’t think any of the previous tenants would go for this. I am so grateful to those who rejected my opinion about people! I wish you all mutual respect and support at all times, and not only during crises and epidemics!