This cat came to us by chance. Without any plan. I went to my husband’s sister for a visit. And the children of her cat, small, harmful, ran around the house. One of them, the most bold, jumped on my son’s jeans and popped up, looking straight into the eyes of the “conquered top.” And I conquered! We thought he chose us.
They didn't have time to look around, as the vanity cat grew up into a luxurious cat: he was large, burning, the eyes were yellow, the expression on the predatory mouth is superstitious. He acted like he was with seven people, so he didn’t miss it. His name was Leo. The lion is the king. By colour they gave a name: Leo was blindingly red, just golden.
We loved him inexorably. He tolerantly accepted our love, not trying to give something in return. The cat was self-sufficient.
But even with our favorite animals, we sometimes have to break up. It was time for our trials: friends invited us to welcome the New Year with them. A great idea, just like with Leo: we are in Cologne, friends under Bremen, you can’t turn around overnight. Clearly, the cat will need to place somewhere for three days.
The exit was found. My parents took the beast. They were familiar with Leo for a long time, no conflict with the cat, lived near us. And to whom would you trust a dear creature except to your mother and dad?
In general, one beautiful morning we delivered the volunteers an impressive package of cat food, a closed cat toilet and the owner of all these wealth. They left and left to come back in the new year.
Returned on the fourth day. We were met joyfully. Especially Leo demonstrated unprecedented love and devotion, climbing to everyone on his arms, shaking his mouth at our faces, whispering and even without the usual loud and effective objections he entered his booth, apparently approving our desire to go home.
And a couple of weeks later, my dad honestly told me about the time our pet was in the guests "at grandmother."
It turns out, immediately after our departure, the cat, released by us for the development of temporary housing, got stuck in his toilet. There he sat all day without making the slightest attempt to get to know the territory. At first, nobody gave it much importance. A little, a stressful situation, adjusting yet, will have time. But when Leo didn’t push his nose out of his bowl by the evening, Mom worried.
“Robert, I think he has a cultural shock! She told my father after some thought. He is accustomed to speaking German.
(To the speech the cat used to all, including to very expressive Russian - this is in the case of soaked buttocks. But in general, my mother was right: German at home was "enough" - my husband was German, where to go).
The parents switched the TV from Russian to German. However, these actions did not have positive consequences on the question of integrating the cat in the apartment of Russian-speaking displaced persons. In the morning, the hosts found the animal in the same place. The dishes of food and drink stood untouched in the corner. Mom’s mental balance improved considerably. She was a reasonable woman, but what was happening did not fall under her normal logic. All the cats she knew were adequate and predictable. They caught mice and rats, fought with rivals, loved cats, and ate everything they could eat. And he refused to eat, apparently experiencing separation. In the yellow cat's eyes read universal sadness. There was a subtle mental organization of the animal, the very idea of which my mother in earlier times would have resolutely rejected. But now it was not to turn away from it!
Sympathy, admiration for the cat's devotion and, most importantly, the fear that the super sensitive cat will breathe out in his toilet of hunger and thirst, pushed the newly cooked cat owner to patience.
- Lion, gold, go out, eat, drink water! - she probably took out, cleverly moving to the place of voluntary imprisonment a bowl of food. “Levushka,” uterine swinging, glittered with eyelids and flooded into the depths of his toilet shelter.
“I don’t know what to do,” my mother complained to her father. Can you talk to him in German? Ask him? My mother tongue is a big deal!
Teacher of Russian language and literature, more than forty years of school, Honored Teacher of Kazakhstan, she knew no doubts when it came to mother tongue.
Here is more! Father reasonably opposed. - Only cats different I did not persuade in German to cancel the hunger strike! You need him, you need to talk to him. In German, but in Russian. Yes, in my opinion, in Ukrainian, at least in Kazakh.
He clearly hinted on her mother’s nationality and her entire past. And on her long reluctance to learn German, her husband’s native language, the Volga German, too. The father had nothing to talk to Leo in the required language. But something stumbled this time in my usual foldable folder.
Mom knew she would have to get out of the situation. Armed with a vocabulary, she did everything on her conscience! My principal wife sat down for drafting the text. In half an hour everything was ready. Carefully placing in front of herself as a sparkling carefully printed notebook sheet, my mother turned to the cat with a flaming German speech:
“Lieber Leo! H;Ren Sie mir bitte zu! They eat and drink. Please come out! Please come to eat! I ask you very much. Otherwise you will get sick!”
“Dear Leo! Listen to me, please! You have to eat and drink. Come out please! Go out and eat! I very much ask you. Otherwise you will get sick.”
As a certified translator, I guarantee to the reader the faithfulness of the translated. I didn’t ask my mom why she chose a respectful shape to treat her cat. This was obvious: exclusively from respect for his loyalty and willpower!
Then, telling me this story, my father pulled out of his shirt’s load pocket a few times folded sheet of paper – my mother’s “petition” to a stubborn cat.
“Look, I hid it,” he whispered conspicuously to me. For the memory!
Dad, what about someone? Hickey, I asked then. has gone out? has eaten?
What a place! My father shrugged his hand. and vice versa. He turned back to us in his bathroom.
And immediately he added, looking at my sad face:
Do not worry you! Eat your cat! I woke up at night and ate. And drink water. Walked around the apartment. And then I stood up after him and added food to the bowl so that it looked full.
Why didn’t you tell your mom? I hailed. She was worried!
My father was embarrassed:
“Yes, I wanted to... and in that moment his amazing smile illuminated his whole face, played in his eyes, in every wrinkles. I liked how he spoke to me in German.
Three times a day...
Three days in a row...

Lieutenant Rzhevsky appears in society with a broken mouth. The Countess:
Did the horse drop you?
A woman’s voice behind someone’s back:
You are a horse!

One time my husband and I played in RPG... In the game we had a friend co-hidden with a nick Venerolog. We go on the bus, talk about different things, including games and partners. I see, the people came to us after the phrases:

I spoke with a Venereologist yesterday.

The husband:

And what he said?

I am :

I asked to send you a greeting! I’m surprised you haven’t been here for a long time.)

As a child, he and his younger brother loved films with Schwartz, Jean-Claude and Dacasco, and even with them. Particularly the passions boiled when the steep man stumbled in the battle with the guild, and the crowd began when they began to smash their fists, turn their necks, lead their shoulders, gambling crushing. With enthusiasm we jumped on the couch, food from the steepness of the characters. And only in the 30 years before me I learned that the men had cervical osteochondrosis and the initial signs of arthrosis.

A lot of good things await us. But if it does not wait, it will not burn too much.

As a child, I did not recognize toys. I like to play with objects, such as books. In the library I had my kingdom, books were its inhabitants. Call them either by the author or by the word from the name. If these are many volumes, then each volume had a separate name: somebody was called Sasha, somebody was Pushkin, somebody was Elected Assembly ;)
Books fell in love, moved from shelf to shelf... in the end, all the series were confused. First, the households complained, then, learning that in the closet their life and love, and return the first volume of Akhmatova to the second is not possible, because they created their families, all reconciled)) Until now, some books are chaotic, and I remember who they are named and who is married to, although 25 years have passed)) I love books and read, and just hold in my hands...

Do you freeze at home with cold batteries and write letters to the city council? Do not hope, you will not have the strength to check the wheel of the bureaucratic machine.
This year has a unique opportunity. Call where it follows that the governor does not include heating in solidarity with the European Union...

I approach the staircase and a woman of 90 years goes down.

With the stick, I barely, in order not to bother her, decided to wait.

“Come down, I’ll wait for you.”

She said, “Look, old age is what it is.”

I: “Oh, with all my respect, I hope I won’t live.”

She said, “I hoped too.”

I open the entrance door on the way to work and see a healthy back on the whole doorway. Workers make cosmetic repairs. I push my side by and bore:

Hi to..

And he in response:

Good morning Sunshine.

And in the office came not the stunned unspoken accountant Marivanna, but Sunnyshko.

Man I am unpretentious. I prefer a modest victory than a fairy defeat.

In the winter, from one Tajik village, a man gathered to hunt a whale. I need a good white-collar. Not my own, but my neighbor. Come to negotiate. The neighbor:
- Well, take, then you will pour a hundred grams, just that, don't look at it!
The man shrugged his shoulders, attached a hammer, went to the taiga. Further, the picture is as follows: the seaside taiga, spots, all white from the snow, trees rubbing from the frost. Here, under the cedar, laughter is spread, the dog has felt a whitening. The man throws a gun, a shot, the protein falls. After some time, the laughter is again distributed, the man shoots, the white falls. Once again, the camel gives a voice, a shot in the crown and... the white safely hides among the branches. The dog turns and hides in the thick forest. The hunter is confused, begins to scream, whisper, and in response the original silence of the forest. Having wandered unsuccessfully for several hours, neither the prey nor the dog, he fled home. The thoughts are dark that I will tell the neighbor where the dog is going. He approaches the neighbor's house, and the dog is on the doorstep, heating in the sun. His neighbor is:
“I told you, not my husband, she is offensive to me.

I hope that next year we will not remember 2022 as the year when “in principle everything was still somehow more or less tolerable”.

© Police

I studied in the class at 5-6, on the change as always angered, shifted, etc. A girl went by, as I then thought the high school girl, made me some comment about this.Well, I didn't think long I sent her naked and laughing hit the wallet.She first red, then loud and dragged me to the loud.There red already I, as it turned out to be Oksana Valentinovna, a young teacher of Russian and literature, just graduated from her university and arrived to bring the light of knowledge to us obaltus.Everything ended well, she humorously perceived the whole situation, and already being our classy leader was fine with me.It has been almost 25 years, and I still remember how she was called.

Sometimes the best way out is to pretend you haven’t entered.

A small company in the middle of the city. The company is small in terms of state, but not in terms of turnover: it has long and firmly stuck in contracts from the city administration. In short, such an eternal general contractor for the well-being of everything. The State of Riyadh 30. For decency holds the type of specials for specific types of work. Technical of a kind.
Leading specialists on greenmaking (i.e. how to plant flowers-bushes-trees) retire. Banquet, speeches and a memory clock. When they are felt, the culprit stands up and speaks:
“Thank you, my dear ones, for the warm words, for the many years of warm atmosphere in the team, for the fifth and the tenth. I still have to say thank you enormously for your general dispersion, otherwise I would probably have pulled the boxes now.
People have eyes on their foreheads. The old devil continues:
- Here the Deputy General said that I was such a smart-intelligent type, because I graduated from the institute with distinction. So here, my dear dwarfs, I never had a dwarf!
And the diploma? - whispers a staff aunt, realizing that for this piece of pop bobo will have her.
- And the diploma I painted on the compass at home, as I now remember, it was cold, it was frosty, I wanted to eat, the wife drank from the kitchen, and the puppy looked at me from below and as if hinted that you would not be full with a strawbery. By that time, I worked as a brigadier in Gorozelenanie in R. for 20 years and knew the case no worse than any other goat with a diploma. But since you were not taken without a diploma, I brought it to you, and you did not even check it. At first it was difficult, there were specs. Real spices and several times I almost burned. It turns out that I don’t know much about the norms there and something else. But then you prompted all those who ticked you with their nose into outspoken blunders and violations, and picked up the nephews of lovers and daughters of friends. In their background, I looked almost like Confucius. So thank you, my dear ones, that you are so hard! And drunk a drink.

“The economy is stable, the ruble is still 100 kopecks,” the President mocked Western sanctions.

You are born a boy, you hear phrases all your life like, "No, you are a man!“Don’t complain, you are a man.“Why did you cry like a girl?” Gradually you learn to keep everything in yourself, not to tell anyone anything, to live every difficult moment on your own. As a result, your emotions are dimmed, their significance decreases and you are already a man, rude, eternally upset, not smiling. After that, in your life there is a woman who starts clinging you in the head, what you do not say and why you are so unemotional.

He came out of the common balcony in the entrance back into the entrance, and a neighbor came out of the elevator. He didn’t notice me, and started dancing on the way to the apartment and joyfully singing:

I will make the soup,

Oh, how I make the soup.

Who will weep? I will weep!

A hard soup!

When he noticed me, he was upset. I showed him two big fingers up and we both, smiling, walked around the apartments. I love people who enjoy simple things, it’s great) I’ll go and I’ll make soup :)

I bought a new dress with a tie, all right, I look like James Bond. I went from the store to a friend for a birthday, on the way I had to go for another. I wait for him at the entrance on the first floor. The windows are mirrored, I look so clumsy and I start posing like James Bond. I pull my finger like a gun and say, “Bond, James Bond,” as the window suddenly opens, and the girl, barely holding back her laughter, says, “Let’s eat, please, calmly!”

Getting dressed and riding expensive cars in a country with low pensions and wages is a demonstration not of your success, but of a contemptful attitude towards compatriots.