bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104649
 27.10.2014
From good to bad one click.

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104648
 27.10.2014
"When I worked with Arkady Raikin, - remembers Mikhail Zhvanetsky, - I was not at home, in Odessa, two years. On the table was a full agenda for the military. He went, the soldier ruined: “What if the war?! Where to look for you?“”
I said, “Start, I will come.”

[ + 33 - ] Comment quote №104647
 27.10.2014
The circle of some people is a circle with a zero radius.
They call it a point of view.

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104646
 27.10.2014
qqq: Someday (even in the last century) I saw on the basement of the house traces of a child’s play in the "hillside", guessed (and guessed!) There was the word KINCONK – apparently, the level of literacy of both players was roughly equal. and :-)

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104645
 27.10.2014
And then – “long hair dry long”? Hey, you will still say that you do not take a shower before the pool and have not heard of hair caps!
__________________________________________
When taking a shower, they do not always wash their heads, and hats do not protect against wet. They protect against the fact that the chin-nit rapunzel curls throughout the pool did not float around the owners, and "separated from the branch of the birthplace."

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104644
 27.10.2014
Comments on Rambler News:

I don’t have a computer at all and I don’t use the internet. I have not used it and will not use it."

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104643
 27.10.2014
this

– – – – –
A survey was conducted on one website: "Do you often write in the sea while swimming?"

It turns out that 50% of people suck in the sea!

– – – – –
And you finally started guessing why the water in the sea is salty?

[ + 28 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104642
 27.10.2014
Well, what fool had thought of translating Phantommas as a ghost? O.O

[ + 31 - ] Comment quote №104641
 27.10.2014
xxx: Vandal rollers wrote on the building of the Rod House "Respawn".

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104640
 27.10.2014
I will probably finish your halloween, about the scraping.
As my former boss said, he was his boss at the time.
When you are standing, at the base, with your right hand, then without tearing off your right hand, with your left hand, now - cutting off the gesture with the edge of your right palm and:
Everything is short, everything is short. :)

Hello Vicentich, you're old fucking if you're still alive. and max.

[ + 40 - ] Comment quote №104639
 27.10.2014
Mom: First in my life "invisible" entered Egypt. We bought all the statuettes we saw, my three-year-old daughter forced me to teach the names of all the gods and their wives, and in the evenings she told me how one brother killed another, cut him in pieces, and how the wife then collected those pieces throughout the whole land of Egypt. Then there were the fairy tales of Shakerezada, with hatred, there were a thousand of them! and one! In a year I learned everything.
Then there were bionics. But somehow they passed quickly, I breathed calmly.
Then came Anime. Tails with spikes, blue legs and red eyes were all over the apartment. Every night I was forced to teach someone there to incarnate. I learnt the bats. We taught them for two years.
I think, well, all, the child has grown up, now let’s talk about literature in the evenings... I, of course, suspected something when the thick books... of one author... John, Ronald Roel, his mother, Tolkien... but I didn’t think it would be so bad! I have a decree...

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104638
 27.10.2014
I watched an interesting audio phenomenon today! In our office behind the door there is a "kitchen" table on which the tea bar, etc. At the end of the day, the men gathered together to open a bottle of cognac. I did the service, I spilled, the door opened and the deputy general entered. It enters one step so I see, and the hand with the bottle behind the door. And here was the phenomenon: I did not hear what the castle asked and what the juric answered, but I heard clearly how a drop of cognac crashed from my throat and fell into the glass.

[ + 23 - ] [4 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104637
 26.10.2014
I recently moved to Switzerland, living in an apartment with two Germans. I prepared something for me to eat. There was laziness, and I dumbly baked the potatoes in the microwave. Very surprised looking at my track, then there was about this dialogue:
What is it?
The card.
Did you heat it in the microwave?
No, I have prepared it.
How is it?
Put it in the microwave for 4-5 minutes and it is ready.
Are you cooking before that?
and no.
Do you not cook anymore?
and no.
- OO
He did not tell the poor German that in the microwave you can also cook pasta, and omelette to cook...

[ + 37 - ] Comment quote №104636
 26.10.2014
When the old Indian was told the reasons for the transition from winter time to summer time, he said:
Only the government can truly believe that by cutting a foot from the top of a blanket and sewing it from the bottom, you can extend the blanket.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104635
 26.10.2014
here here :

We move to winter time, they said. Sleep an extra hour, they said. How to transfer small children to the winter, who don’t care where the arrows show?

Oh how... And how did poor people live in the past when time was transferred twice a year?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №104634
 26.10.2014
Per, I will add this "high-primitive alpha-samec" to my dictionary of euphemisms of Russian mate.
Although, the "high-primitive beta samurai" I like it more. In this phrase is concentrated more from the “dumb fool” than even from the “dumb fool” itself.

[ + 44 - ] Comment quote №104633
 26.10.2014
I was at a meeting and got a call. I see the phone number of my parents. I wanted to drop the call. Pressed on something.
Instead of dropping the phone to loud communication and the calling app disappeared somewhere.
My children were on the line. They broke each other’s phone and shouted, “A-a-a-a! I have been struck! "" "A-a-a-a! And she calls me!" "A-a-a-a! It doesn’t let me paint!" "A-a-a-a-! Take a break! "" "A-a-a! In the background, my parents tried loudly in Russian to separate the children from each other and from the tube.
While my entire staff listened to this radio show, I pressed all the buttons furiously and desperately. I could not disconnect the line.
At the end, I managed to prove to the bosses that I can cope with unexpected situations in unusual ways: I put the phone on a chair, sat on it from the top, was mentally delighted that a big ass was finally needed, and then said in the calmest voice: "So we stopped at the fact that...."
The meeting broke

by Marinalevy

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104632
 26.10.2014
<lol>: I, the insignificant servant of the great lord Vyacheslav, promise that I will never take part in a bet on desire again!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104631
 26.10.2014
Yyy: with the tower it is boring to go to serve
xxx: I would have served MB if I had a portion picked up from the gentlemen and gentlemen, and to do a smart job.
XXX: the type there
XXX: Ebola virus to be neutralized
XXX: or Trojan porn in the network of the White House dress up

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104630
 26.10.2014
I explain:
by ******
"No
Tagged with: kozy.by" I have the same.
My brain is shaken, here.
Goats after 20
Just arrived...
and
has not arrived. About what?
by ******
tk. Aftar and his wife are cleverly literate, to kill the hunting of such, they distorted the elementary "netvarikozu.by", no, fucking, varicose veins. A goat in the mind.

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