bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №104249
 18.10.2014
When the little boy grew up to go to the toilet himself, but has not yet grown up to the switch, in the sorting I built a system with a motion sensor, a controller and a relief so that the light would turn on itself when he enters there.
Once in the guest saw a group with a family, whose children are slightly older than mine. Looking at the clever device in the sorting, he nevertheless stated:
- And I just put the stick next to the switch and taught the child to press the key with this stick.

by Facepalm

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104248
 18.10.2014
xxx: Russia rises from its knees, the iOs8 firmware has a ruble icon
YYY: If you judge by such criteria, Russia has long stood up from its knees - since time immemorial, the ayophans support GLONASS, and Apple added this support as the first in the world.
It was Apple that stood up from its knees.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104247
 18.10.2014
007: I burned my seat.
ra_007: I went in the morning, switched on the junk heater, and I was there like a bite!

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104246
 18.10.2014
Now, overcoming the persistent desire of a two-year-old son to eat nothing, sometimes we fall into a stupor. I go into the kitchen now and see that he, putting his chair to the plate, is eating... swimming... right out of the stove... with a shoe shovel.
The curtain.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №104245
 18.10.2014
X: I’ve opened my eyes here yesterday – you’ll laugh...
X: No, you’ll laugh, I won’t say :)))

[ + 29 - ] Comment quote №104244
 18.10.2014
The wife says:
"I gave the neighbor's cat a cocktail today, so he did not eat it as usual, but took it to the neighbor's door and ate it there. How to understand this gesture?
It is independence.

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104243
 18.10.2014
It is incomprehensible:

And the wolf on the red hat didn’t go for food. So if someone then had to extract something, it wasn’t from the wolf.
...
And the grandmother in that tale is also "sole"?
-
Oh, I got somehow a movie "The Red Hat" not from the studio "Private"...
But not "el"!
-----------
What are you crazy? The grandmother in the wild forest, chewing with wolves, robbers, woods and hunters, in authorities walked! One of them lived in a burst. And the hat brought her cakes. And the wolf of the courier touched, and there he was waiting.

[ + 29 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №104242
 18.10.2014
Eat or not, that is the question.
Dignity is
Respecting the will of the stomach.
Or have to resist.
In a deadly battle with a whole sandwich
Ending them? Eat and forget.
And know that you break the chain.
Hunger and thousands of suffering.
presence of the body. Isn’t that the goal?
The desired? to eat. Sleep to forget.
To sleep and dream? Here is the answer.
___________________________________ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___ ___

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №104241
 18.10.2014
More here :
----------
More than once you had to see quite nice, decent girls, with whom it would be good to get messed up, but you only look at her, such a right and perfect, and you understand that you are not a couple with her, but to overtake yourself and disgusting. That's if you could live with her and still hit for months at home work (I don't care about dust and 15-year-old wallpapers at all), the amount of salary, status, future and other mess, cut into tanks and watch the anime carelessly and without a pain of conscience - but it won't work out.

How do I find you, my joy?
----------
The Dolls! You will live a couple of years, and then you will want her to wash the dishes, and she will stick to Ragnarok (not the tank!) You’ll call her a playboy. ;D

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104240
 18.10.2014
If your seemingly ordinary girl's money goes like beautiful, she's smart.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104239
 18.10.2014
I live alone in three. Rodna proposed to take a student relative from another city to a post, so that the girl in the communion does not get puzzled. I am not sorry, and more fun, but the presence of a stranger was slightly tense: he began to carefully monitor the apartment, constantly killed himself,ined cleanliness and order. And then once a week turned out to be heavy, after work, I ate dinner and left dirty dishes in the dishwasher. The student came and cheered in the kitchen:
You finally woke up! I lived here for six months as in a museum.
I thought a lot.

[ + 27 - ] Comment quote №104238
 18.10.2014
A fox runs through the forest. meet her monkey.
Lisa, where are you going?
We have introduced a new progressive tax and excise taxes on fur. I am afraid that my last skin will be removed.
The monkey, hearing this, begins to run away! Even the fox overcame.
The fox shouts in her back:
A monkey, what are you afraid of?
A monkey running around:
I don’t know the rules in our forest. It starts with the head!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104237
 18.10.2014
XXX: - Servant, bring me a portal to a different reality, it hurts me.
XXX is a whisker?
XXX is Naturally!

[ + 26 - ] Comment quote №104236
 18.10.2014
Fuck you guys, fuck you guys! After all, the main thing is that a man would be good and with breasts.

The golden words, my friend.
This puts a point in a stupid discussion.

[ + 21 - ] Comment quote №104235
 18.10.2014
Cepreu: Now connected in the terminal to the cashier from %city%. Write the password - "untrue", again Write, again not that, again... I ask: "And how did you enter this before?". She: "So when I do not do this several times, I type "12345" and then it does".

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №104234
 18.10.2014
What to wear in order to be original and not expensive to do yourself?
The costume of introduction. View the sketch in m/f "Baby and Carlos"
zzz: the drawing costume sketch must be seen in the trigonometry textbook, and what you meant is a ghost.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104233
 18.10.2014
In the roles: lice, fleas, mandalas, spiders, four-legged...
The poisonous serpent, in general, was dohuya.
Muha-Cokotucha in translation of father, and rather grandfather, Puchkov
1964 approximately

[ + 30 - ] Comment quote №104232
 18.10.2014
A friend told me it was in the village.
D: I have a shorter sister, she is in the 5th grade, after school to my grandmother came, and I just gathered to my brother well and took her portfolio to take away.. and here the picture I go through the whole village with a huge pink with hearts and dolls portfolio.
Q: Can the beauty take you wherever?
D: I didn’t get confused, I turned around and said get married and go wherever you want. Porzhali, brought to my brother.A little bit from the mosquito did not fall when I answered them)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №104231
 18.10.2014
The European Union is introducing a fingerprinting procedure for the issuance of Schengen visas. Ten fingerprints are likely to start taking from the second quarter of 2015:

What do you do with people with less than 10 fingers?
Yyy: Those are not allowed as potential subversives.

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №104230
 18.10.2014
A 15-year-old daughter is going to Halloween. Making a red hat costume. A basket, a platyce, a corset, a basket... I suspected something wrong – a role-player from the graduation class asked the agronomic tesax a-la “kill the orcs from shame for their toothbrushes” and the abundance of prepared red makeup.

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