bezdna.su — the best quotes and jokes from the abyss!



[ + 34 - ] Comment quote №101728
 12.08.2014
Stop, for the sake of God! Russia has all the resources to increase the production capacity of agricultural products – to put it simply, the harvest. The land remains, though abandoned. And people who haven’t gone yet. And the climate is suitable, although not as mild as in Europe. The issue of import and export of products is not only economic but also political. Here are the politicians who pushed the domestic agriculture to the root and sold land under the cottage, now let them turn, bringing everything back to its place. And the Russians don’t eat after the first meal.

Do you really believe that politicians will turn around? To prohibit yes, they can, but to develop industry and agriculture is quite another matter. For example, energy sources need to be reduced, because they are expensive. This will be the loss of their people. No one in power will take such measures.

The vodka has traveled. You will have to drink less.
No, you’ll have to eat less now.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101727
 12.08.2014
For the last five years, the girl has been attracted to ZAGS. And here, I sit in line, passports are already in the process of applying. I almost keep my wife from escaping.

[ + 28 - ] Comment quote №101726
 12.08.2014
Here many of my acquaintances dream of sleeping with two twins... I do not have such thoughts.. the only thing I would like to do with them is to put a stamp on one of the twins "a copy of true"))

[ + 19 - ] Comment quote №101725
 12.08.2014
*XH is out of the website of the state service*

So here are you, handsome creatures with a distilled brain!

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101724
 12.08.2014
Question: How clean will the cockroach body be after washing in powder at 60°?
This is not empty curiosity, unfortunately.
I haven't used the washing machine for a long time, there were cockroaches in it. I’m washing in the shell for the third time, fragments of cockroaches are still hitting.
In general, I don’t get anything from this cockroach meal or is it better to wash it with my hands?

Answer: Some refuse to pay for soups with cockroaches. and some of them in the washing machine disinfect :D Wash with Love Magic Tarakanov!

[ + 39 - ] Comment quote №101723
 12.08.2014
They are getting that money now!
Milk, for example, they take from 4 to 7 rubles per liter.
Compare the price per liter in the store.
The rest is obtained by processors, transporters, and also rotated by passers and defunct managers.
......................
The young man caught it.
And now imagine that this gang will have fewer problems with competition.

[ + 24 - ] Comment quote №101722
 12.08.2014
"I am too old to change nick"

[ + 26 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101721
 12.08.2014
And it is unclear why all the TV channels show the tragedy of the Southeast and the bombing of our territory in combination with the fact that the government does nothing to stop it. Are they consciously wrapped?
_____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Any assistance without the mandate of the UN peacekeepers or other international organization – Russia’s involvement in a military conflict => openly demonized Russia => NATO action to peace Russia => war in Europe =>...
Want to participate?

[ + 18 - ] Comment quote №101720
 12.08.2014
The mouse.

What does a city cat do when it sees a live mouse for the first time?

Do you know what a citywoman is doing in such a situation?

[ + 39 - ] [2 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101719
 12.08.2014
On the Ural in the store I see competition only among local suppliers of products. Foreign here if it comes, then something long-playing and already very little to do with natural products. There are price conspiracies, but they are quickly and clearly explained to them all the depth of their misconceptions about government policy.
--------
The fucking. As a child, forty years ago, I read a book of ancient import anecdotes. And there was a mention of a fool who was not afraid of the price of flour, because he only buys ready-made bread. What is characteristic - there was no explanation, but even the child understood why it was a fool.
In the store you can see the finished products. From what raw materials they are made, you do not see. But the matter is not even that. Let you have a miracle of patriotism there, and everything is made from local raw materials. But is this foreigner eaten somewhere? In Moscow, in Peter? They will eat local food. You will eat in a day.
Well, how, in one head, the huge losses of Europe (that is, the slaughter was delivered to Russia a lot) and "we will not be affected, no one has eaten it"? Russia bought millions of tons of grazing in Europe and buried them at night?

[ + 23 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101718
 12.08.2014
I looked into the spoon, shaved with a fork.

[ + 22 - ] Comment quote №101717
 12.08.2014
Our cat is terrible, visiting the bowl produces excavation work before bleaching, periodically providing a sound signal. So we try to clean him immediately, so that he does not suffer. In the pot filler is wood, from those that dissolve from moisture into powder.
Here somehow I come from work, the husband after the comp, from the side of the bowl scratches and trembles the earth.
Why don’t you clean?
M: (philosophically) I wait... until the half-life is over...

[ + 31 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101716
 12.08.2014
for the fun:

She sits at the table and looks at this circus with sadness.

Why immediately sad? We rushed.
– – – – –

We will go together in a few months, when everyone, including the inhabitants of the Lower Piperishes, foods will increase twice, and the salary will remain the same.
No, do you really not catch that the local producers left in pride alone will be delighted with the opportunity to foolishly hit the prices, leaving the quantity and quality at the previous level? Should they get rid of them if they can now get more money for the same thing?

[ + 22 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101715
 12.08.2014
You have to live on an uninhabited island for a month. You can take something or someone in a single copy.
I choose a prostitute.
xxx is sure?
YYYY :YYYY
XX: What will you do to the lion?
XXX is a prostitute.
And the second lion?

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101714
 12.08.2014
Answered by mail:
The question:
Why are the answers always the first? :)
The first answer:
Go to Nashville

[ + 20 - ] Comment quote №101713
 12.08.2014
They can in principle not lie and not spend the country's taxes on paid propagandists?
– – – – –
No, because not all the population of the country has learned to understand the text read or heard information.
However, huge progress has already been made on this path. Already in the news you can talk about the decline of the course, against the background of the picture with the rise of that, and speak about the general approval, showing the silent people.

[ + 36 - ] Comment quote №101712
 12.08.2014
I sat in the subway, played the Blood Bowl on a tablet (who is curious, this is such an American football simulator by Warhammer). He was completely absorbed by the game, rushed to victory and almost made a fateful mistake. But in a fraction of a second of the way I led my player to the touchdown, my finger suddenly stopped by a random stranger sitting next to me and pointed me to my mistake. It was my uncle, 55 years old. A very positive experience :)

[ + 23 - ] Comment quote №101711
 12.08.2014
In a box office, from one film forum: "...since this definition is more suitable for the Father of the Cross not just for this film".

[ + 25 - ] Comment quote №101710
 12.08.2014
Explain to my friend:
Move and insert. Don’t worry, I didn’t do it the first time either. And removing, by the way, is more difficult. Move more out! Put it in immediately! Insert it more confidently!
Only somewhere in the middle of the process came out that on the side could not be very clear that I teach her to wear contact lenses only :)

[ + 25 - ] [1 Комментарии к цитате] Comment quote №101709
 12.08.2014
There are city heroes. Are there city thieves? I imagine myself so:
The name of the red flag is the small town of East Krzysztof.
Honorary Order of Lenin city-destroyer of Huevo-Kukuyevo.
Three times the order-bearing city-buoyed alcoholic Tajiyil.

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